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Neal interrupts them to pitch a story about trolls to Mackenzie. That couldn’t wait? Oh, no it’s to show that in addition to math, economics, technology, smart phones, email and how to apply eyeliner, Mackenzie doesn’t know what an internet troll is. What exactly does she know? Anyway, Brian has lived among functioning humans during the last decade so he knows what Neal’s going on about, which peeves Mackenzie. Neal wants to do an exposé on trolling websites and Mackenzie likes it. LET. IT. GO. SORKIN. How is this a more vital story than Weiner’s dick?
Whatever, for Neal to do the story he’ll need to go undercover and successfully troll a website. Might I suggest calling yourself “Benjamin” and harassing the shit out the TWoP boards? I’m sure they’ve forgotten by now. While Mackenzie’s approving Neal’s request to troll websites on company time, Brian’s rethinking that whole “pining for Mackenzie” thing because, clearly, she’s an imbecile.
On his way out of the office, Neal sees Sloan and asks her permission to write anonymous and vicious things about her to trigger a backlash against him for being a misogynist. But for the sake of a story because Sorkin’s not sexist. He just writes like one. Sloan wants to know what she’s approving but Neal doesn’t know what kind of nasty things he’s going to write, he promises they won’t be true. Like an actual, intelligent woman Sloan’s not giving him permission until she knows what he plans to say so he lands on the most obvious “She screwed her way to the top and has a big ass,” because remember, he only WRITES like a sexist. This was absolutely necessary to the character.
Sloan responds by slamming Neal into the wall but rather than tell him to fuck off she whimpers “Do I?” Neal says no but she still refuses to let him use her for his awful story. Then Neal actually tries to make her feel better by saying “Some men like big…” She slams him into the wall, again, but rather than tell him to make one more crack like that and they’ll be continuing the discussion with HR, she whimpers “Do they?” before she walks off, still refusing to let him use her.
Chris Matthews’ kid gets a call from someone claiming to have the Weiner pictures and tries to pass her off to Jim so they can all get cute passing her down the chain of command to the least senior, yet most entitled AP, Maggie, who’s taken aback when the woman won’t let her get a word in edgewise because Maggie has no self-awareness.
Will storms into Dr. Habib’s office and Lonny has to explain how decent…nay civilized…people respect their doctor’s time, especially a psychiatrist, because he may be in with a patient. Will asks what about in case of an emergency and Lonny duhs “You go to the emergency room.” Will snots that there is no such thing as a psychiatric emergency room (No, dickbag, all emergency rooms admit psychiatric emergencies.) and Lonny’s rethinking not taking the shot himself to get this job over with. Will actually says, without a trace of irony, “You want a piece of me?” and Lonny can’t believe that someone hasn’t killed Will yet but just says “Seriously?”