Elliot goes all Life of Brian and helps Don see the bright side in that they were still the smartest people at ACN and fed the News Nightbuffoons the whole story. Unsurprisingly, this does not calm Don but after a brief bit of anti-Semitism, Elliot makes him feel better that they can always look forward to violent retaliation.
Oh, Elliot. You always know the right thing to say.
Talk inevitably turns to Maggie because bitch is like kudzu but they’ve been on the tarmac for so long, and the address keeps getting postponed, that the other passengers are getting emails and texts about the President’s address and asking Don and Elliot what’s going on. Don can sense the panic that’s slowly rising in the cabin and when a woman asks if it’s a terrorist attack he gets up to calm everyone down. Now, the flight attendant could hear this entire exchange since she’s never been more than six feet away, but instead of letting him finish answering questions, she gets all persnickety with him, demanding he take his seat. Because hysteria in enclosed spaces is SO much better.
And like the class snitch she probably was, she threatens to get the captain. The captain and co-pilot come out as Don’s about to have a wobble, asking exactly how paranoid do you have to be… Don sees the pilot’s uniforms and gets quiet and a little shame-faced. I didn’t get what was going on initially, I just thought Don assumed the pilot was ex-military, so way to bury the lede, Sorkin, but I’m guessing Don realizes that four flight crews were lost that day, and yet all the other crews had to get back on those planes when the airports re-opened, so if they’re a little overly cautious and stern with crazy, obnoxious passengers, they have their reasons.
Capt. Tank Armstrong, United Airlines.
Don introduces himself, Elliot and Sloan to the captain, first officer, “and flight attendant crazy lady” then tells them that bin Laden was killed. While the crew hugs, Don shares a moment with Sloan and Elliot, letting them know they reported the news. Sniff.
While Lisa just stares at a monitor, Jim comes up and finally does something that lives up to his decent, good guy reputation. He admits that he was a dick who was too cowardly to tell Don and Maggie to butt the hell out and let the fix up go on longer than it should, but after seeing how awesome she is compared to what a harridan Maggie is (at least that’s what I heard him say) he’d like to start over and ask her out himself and see what might be there. Then he craps all over my good will by asking if that took her breath away and says he’ll make a cool exit, now. So close, Jim. So close.
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