This “funny” scene is broken up when David Krumholtz comes into the room wearing one of Mr. Rogers cardigans and tries to escort Will into his office. Will establishes that David is Jack Habib, Abe’s son then dismisses the younger man, telling him he’ll wait for his father. Dick. Obviously he’s the new doctor. Turns out Abe died two years earlier and Will’s been paying Jack for the hour he never used. Will grills Dr. Habib about how old he is (29) and whether he can write prescriptions (he can) before he deigns to bless the doctor with his presence, but thinks it will only take two minutes.
Will starts in on Dr. Habib’s age but Habib cuts him off to let Will know he “did everything early” and not to waste his breath on Doogie Howser jokes. Why make him a prodigy? Why not make him 34 like Krumholtz? Is Sorkin an alien whose never lived among humans and is replicating what he’s seen on TV?
Habib wants to know why Will came. Will needs something to help him sleep. When Habib, the psychiatrist, asks why Will smarts off that he can’t sleep. Why is his default setting for asshole?
Wow, you’re an even bigger prick than your file indicated.
Habib continues to question Will who is so far up his own ass that he says he “invented” a bacon, egg and cheese sandwich. He eats two of them a night before he goes to bed and he doesn’t get any exercise. But Mr. Ethics and Integrity just wants an actual doctor to prescribe him narcotics without even doing an interview.
Luckily, Habib isn’t quite as fluid with his personal ethics and asks Will about a series of medication he used to take. Will’s not on any of them because he was “cured” of his anxiety (read: learned to take all his bullshit out on his staff) and just wants to get his prescription. Habib powers on, asking if Will has any extra stress. Will
is a dick glibly mocks the doctor who FINALLY asks what the audience has been wondering since the pilot: Why is Will so insufferable. Habib phrases it as “Why are you fucking around with me?” but Will’s response validates my interpretation.
Excuse me, Doctor. You’re not supposed to call me on my bullshit. That’s in my file.
Oh, it’s just to fluff up Will’s ego. Seems he’s gotten a death threat and although it’s allegedly serious it’s also public knowledge because Reese figures it’s easier to let a crazy person take care of Will than fire his pompous ass. Will proceeds to polish his knob by telling Dr. Habib he used to be a prosecutor (and a fireman and a prince and a pony) and thinks no one who plans to kill you sends a note but AWM’s insurance provider deemed it serious and that’s why President Camacho’s driving Will around. Dr. Habib wants to know why it’s serious and Will says…HAHAHAHA, LET IT GO, SORKIN…because he changed the rules on his website’s comment section. HAHAHA. Go talk to Glenn Greenwald about commenters.
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