Newsroom Recap: Will Goes to Therapy

Oh wait. He was serious. Despite being all Don Quixote and wanting only to do very important news stories, News Night now reads viewer comments at the end of the show. This time, people named “LollypopLollypop” and “SurrendrDorothee” commented on some interview he did with a gay, African-American Republican, and although they know about things like Log Cabin Republicans they’re all “Make him cry. HAHA!!!1!11!” But Will’s too noble to pander so Sorkin whines about how mean TWoP is he commends his guest by saying he showed more courage than it takes to post anonymous comments. Welcome to the two-thousandsies, Will. Grammatically incorrect, anonymous bile is the internet’s life blood after porn and cat videos.

Jump cut to the newsroom and Will storms in to berate Neal for giving him such awful comments but Neal “swears” those were the “best” ones. Blerg. Mackenzie finally acts like the boss and wants to talk to Will about his compulsion to be an energy-sucking scold. But will wants to talk about why the website allows such scurrilous behavior. He needs to have a lie down because his nerves are so frazzled at the incivility. How could they allow such boorishness on their pristine website?

Wow, you’re even worse than Don said.

While Will continues to pitch his hissy because they can’t tell who LollypopLollypop is and that most internet commenters are “30-1 incontent,” (I guess brilliant Will didn’t read much Shakespeare…or Steinbeck, oh, and hyperbole, much?) and wants all commenters to include their name, age, occupation and level of education. Neal tries to explain the populist nature of the internet but Will’s too busy fluffing up his feathers by including himself with other populists like Will Rogers and William Jennings Bryan and as I sit stunned at such a preening lack of self awareness Will bitches that anonymity is cowardice and whatever, even Mackenzie thinks he’s being a big baby.

Will kind of agrees but there’s no backing down. He asks Neal about implementing such a ridiculous policy. Neal suggests using a third-party verification service because linking to Facebook account or using Disqus would be too easy. While Mackenzie ineffectually whines about Neal indulging Baby Huey, Will, and by Will I mean Sorkin, fires off one of his more tin-eared bits of thoughtless bigotry when he calls the Indian (but not Native American) staffer “Tonto” so Neal can explain. Seriously? If I rupture an aneurysm from all my rage blackouts, I’m sending my medical bill to Sorkin. Then Will pontificates about how this policy will “ghettoize” all the other websites  and he’ll fix the internet. HAHAHAHA. He’s a cock.

Back with Dr. Habib, who wants to know when Will got the death threat. After the “mosque” interview. Question: How is he still able to book any guests? Oh, so Will can climb up on a soapbox. He has some blonde woman talking about the “Ground Zero mosque” and Cordoba and the 9/11 families and Sharia law so Will, with an assist from the mens on his staff, can swat all her ideas down and let her know that we’re only governed by our laws.  Then he askswhy doesn’t she fear creeping Christianity to run down a litany of atrocities committed by Christians and/or in the name of Christianity. Then he licks his hand and preens over his superfly awesomeness.

He’s like a dopier, wattlier William Hurt.