Wow, you guys. It’s the season finale of Nurse Jackie, and for all blessed four of you still hanging in, this one certainly didn’t disappoint. Lots of loose ends to tie up, so let’s head on in.
So we pick up pretty much where we left off last week, with Jackie whipping Trauma into shape while Cruz is sprawled out in Pulmonary, battling one of those anxiety attacks he refuses to admit is more than asthma. It’s actually the next day, and I guess he’s in pretty rough shape, because he’d been unconscious overnight, but when he wakes he immediately rips all the tubes off his face and marches out of there in his open-backed gown. He’s also an ass to the nurse on duty, so he must be feeling mostly back to normal.
Jackie, meanwhile, has gotten things running smoothly, and lets Zoey take the lead on the temp nurses. She’s totally in her element, even offering a prize to whoever does the typing. “We don’t need prizes,” says one nurse; “You’re in my world now, and in my world, there’s prizes. Straight up.” That’s our Zoey. I will miss her in between seasons.
Meanwhile, Cruz is freaking out because he just learned he spent the night unconscious in a bed while Jackie was spreading her influence all over his hospital. He won’t wait to see the doctor, even though he had a cardiac episode, because his priority at the moment is making sure his foot is lodged up Jackie’s ass.
Things are running like a well-oiled machine downstairs, which means Cruz and his pink tie must barge in and stir the pot, because what good is order and efficiency if someone else gets the credit? I mean, it’s not like they’re trying to run a hospital and save some lives or anything. Never forget that those temp nurses cost Quantum Bay literally tens of dollars an hour! But I love Sam, because when Cruz starts barking questions, his smile just gets bigger and more Zen.
Coop and Jackie are working on a patient, but Coop is fixated, as per usual, on O’Hara’s baby. In a move that comes as absolutely no surprise, he admits that he took it upon himself to make some calls, use his old camp connections, and figure out who it is. Some dude named Robbie Plunket, apparently, and that gives me a conflicted face: half sad because it’s not Coop himself, yet half relieved that the writers didn’t take that lazy, obviously easy, soap opera way out.
My brain is such a conundrum.
Anyway, Jackie warns him that O’Hara will hate him forever if he tells her, but they’re distracted when Coop notices Cruz on the floor. He makes an admirable attempt to deflect Cruz’s inquisition and point out how calm and orderly things are running, but Cruz is out for blood. You know, Coop can be a dork and a pain in the ass, and an insufferable douche, but he’s not the nightmare Cruz is. It’s much easier to deal with an annoying boss than an asshole boss, and I think that’s been well-illustrated this season. We’ve seen glimpses here and there of his soft side, but he must have left that in Pulmonary, because right now it’s nowhere to be found. Jackie knows she can’t hide forever, so after finishing up with her patient, she walks right into the fire.
She refuses to go to his office, though, and makes him tear her that new asshole right there on the floor. It looks like she’s going to stand her ground, but when she admits she ran the place and took charge in his absence, he takes her badge and mocks her…until she snaps.
Her nicely accented “go fuck yehself” gives him exactly what he wanted: an excuse to fire her, which he does. So I guess his promise to Charlie only applied to felony narcotic theft, and not the F-word? As she’s leaving, Zoey starts the most awesome slow clap ever heard in a trauma ward, and it’s immediately picked up by everyone else, including Coop. As O’Hara practically hauls Jackie out of there, she can’t help point out that she’s still in charge. Now, I know Cruz is a dick, but I can also see how he’s reached the end of his rope. Being unable to fire someone who so blatantly circumnavigated the authority of All Saints for so long probably killed him. Getting mad at her for saving the place, though? What was she supposed to do, just let things go to pieces while he was upstairs?
Feel the scorn of the Zoey slow clap. Feel it.