Meanwhile, Lonna’s getting bad news: she has Hep B, a bleeding ulcer, and her body no longer tolerates the estrogen. Going off the dose is not an option, though, and she’s not about to do anything but get her bill paid and go home.
Jackie catches Zoey crawling all over the floor, and agrees to help her search for the ring. Almost immediately she finds a pill, crusty and old and wrapped in what appears to be the pubes of Sasquatch. Um, isn’t this a hospital? Do those floors not get cleaned? That thing looks like it’s been there quite some time. Also, this is Jackie we’re talking about, so I’m calling bullshit on overlooked narcotics. Anyway, Cruz shows up to present an X-ray of the repair-in-progress foot, and Jackie flees, pill in pocket.
Jackie and O’Hara are losing the battle to keep Lonna admitted, and she informs them that yes, the patch is out of her price range, and no, she will not be staying and discontinuing her injections. Before she can strut out, Akalitus is there, telling her to sit down and shut it. She recommends a clinic across town that’ll provide the patches, and points out that Lonna’s insurance card is issued under her male government name. Since the charts are not, Lonna doesn’t owe that $3,200 deductible. Damn, that’s a crappy deductible. But Akalitus is good people. I love how she’s gone rogue since losing her authority.
I normally wouldn’t tell you this, but I’m still upset about the mandatory scrub uniforms.
Coop barges into the ladies room, where Zoey is crying over the sink, and slips the found ring onto her finger! Zoey goes bananas with glee, and gives him huge hug…then slinks off to confess to Eddie that her emotional response to Coop returning the ring was more intense and real than her response to Lenny’s proposal. She wants to know what she should do, and Eddie wants to know why the hell she thinks he’d have one damn bit of good relationship advice to offer. Jackie shows up to deposit the pill in the unused medicine bin, but doesn’t quite manage to before her phone rings. Of course it’s Kevin’s lawyer again, informing her that Kevin also wants child support and the house. Wow, Kevin, way to twist the knife.
Jackie and O’Hara discuss this turn of events in her giant closet, and Jackie outlines how hopeless the situation is. Kevin is a pretty great guy in general, and he also looks great on paper. Meanwhile, Jackie is the biggest trainwreck in all five boroughs. But she’s not a completely hopeless case–she pulls out the pill and hands it over to O’Hara, in exchange for designer shoes.
Sounds like a fair trade to me.
Next week we see Jackie make another foray into AA hijinks with Charlie, we meet her new divorce lawyer (Janice Soprano!), and O’Hara’s fetus gets inundated with more gifts from Uncle Coop. Also, Jackie wants character references. That’ll be a breeze! Much love to everyone keeping up with these recaps.
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