Nurse Jackie Recap: Served!

Oh, Jackie. This week she’s reaching new heights in pathetic over reaching by making cartoon pancakes for her kids. Who aren’t even in the house. Yeah, she forgot her daughters were staying with Kevin until she went looking for them. I can see her overlooking Fiona, but considering she’s been living in Grace’s ass for the past few episodes, I’m surprised she hadn’t checked on her at least a dozen times in the night. Poor Jackie. Trying so hard, yet in all the wrong ways.

So what’s the solution to this? Call Kevin! Jackie is certain that Kevin will take her back in a second, because who wouldn’t jump at the chance to reunite with their adulterous, drug addict of an ex? O’Hara thinks this is a terrible idea, but her protests are muffled by snake pancakes (pansnakes!), so of course Jackie immediately leaves Kevin a voicemail, asking him to lunch. I’m sure they’ll live happily ever after.

A remarkably made-up Zoey catches Akalitus outside All Saints, holding an unlit cigarette. Akalitus isn’t a smoker, but Cruz and Quantum Bay are making her reconsider. Zoey, it turns out, is all dolled up to fit in with the nurses at another hospital, where she’s picking up extra shifts. She wants to move out of her mother’s place, and is saving money for an apartment. She’s also looking for a roommate, and has created a stack of Old West themed WANTED: ROOMMATE flyers to that end. We find out later she stained them in a tea soak and burnt the edges to make them look authentic. Zoey kills me softly a little more each time I see her.

I could just pinch those cheeks.

Cruz has a sit down with Coop and tells him he will be in charge of distributing brand new uniform scrubs to the nurses. Coop knows that’s not going to go over well, but reassures Cruz that the nurses trust him and will listen to him. Sure they will. Cruz tells Coop that he makes everyone feel as if they know more than he does. Which is hilarious and probably true, and Coop takes it as a compliment.

Severed arms!! We have severed arms, folks. They belong to A DOA girl and her barely surviving boyfriend, Timothy. The two of them cuffed their wrists together and jumped off the 59th Street bridge, for reasons unknown. The impact ripped their arms off, and she died, but Timothy is hanging in there. While helping shift him from the gurney to the bed, Jackie pulls something in her shoulder. Awesome, that’s just what she needs. Jackie goes to Eddie to get some help with her shoulder.

Don’t worry though—the help she gets involves neither narcotics nor penises. She has Eddie shrink-wrap an ice pack to her shoulder, apologizing to him the whole time for all the bullshit she’s put him through. They seem to be reaching a truce, or at least a state of civility, when she accidentally elbows him in the eye. That’s karma, Eddie. She feels badly, but Jackie doesn’t have time to worry about Eddie, because she gets a text from Kevin, confirming a lunch date.

A sinister hand is seen ripping down all Zoey’s roommate posters, but not before Lenny has time to see them and get all offended. He wants her to move in with him, but Zoey reiterates that she wants her independence. No, she doesn’t want to live with her mom, but that doesn’t mean she wants to shack up with a boyfriend she routinely wishes was a completely different person. I can dig it.

Akalitus snarls at everyone for bringing personal bullshit to the workplace, and Zoey’s phone rings. It’s Dr. Cruz! He’s actually standing behind her, holding her stack of posters, and she hilariously asks if he needs a roommate, because can’t you just picture those two as roomies? But no, he just gives her a lecture about posting her phone number all over the world, and tells her to take down the flyers. Then he sidles up to Thor, calls him the God of Thunder, and asks if he’s going to bring the hammer down. Thor can’t contain his turgidity.