No, not that kind of covered wagon, sillies!
More mysterious like.
Rumpy asks what’s in it, and the guy tells him it’s something that can help turn the tide of the war. But be careful, he warns Rumpy, it’s a tricksy beast. So naturally when a voice from within calls out his name he just ignores it.
Kidding! He lifts the cover and sees a child within.
Quick Rumpy! Call CPS!
She asks him for a drink of water, but he’s too concerned with how she knows his name. She tells him she sees all which you’d think would be difficult what with her being blind and all….
He thinks she’s a liar; she doesn’t know his name, she probably just heard it around camp. Well….did she hear around camp that his dad was a coward and he’s terrified of ending up like him? Hmm? Hmm???
In a nutshell, she tells him if he gives her some water she’ll give him a glimpse of his future. He’s still not buying what she’s selling; seeing the future is black magic; he’s not getting involved in THAT mumbo jumbo. Even it what she has to say involves his wife? Milah?
Drink up dearie.
The witch breaks the news to him that he’s gonna be a daddy. Woo hoo! So exciting. And a son no less. But don’t get too excited Rumpy, you’re actions on the battlefield tomorrow will leave him fatherless. Oh no! He doesn’t want to die; she’s gotta tell him how to stop that from happening!
Well fuck you very muchly.
He is done helping her! For now….but someday he’ll help her again. Now Rumpy is convinced (or trying to convince himself) that she doesn’t know anything; she was just trying to trick him into giving her water or deserting. Whatevs, he’ll see, she tells him, tomorrow, when he sees the army ride cows into battle, he’ll know she spoke the truth.
Will pigs be flying out my butt as well?
He has had enough of this bullshit, but the witch tells him there is no escaping; he will have a son and his actions will leave said son fatherless. Not knowing what to say to that one, Rumpy pulls the cover back down over her cage.
Over in StoryBrooke Snow is on the phone with Emma finding out that Rumpy’s kid is her grandson’s dad.
Is this a joke?
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