Before we jump into this week’s episode I have to give a shout out to the awesome Pillania who so fantastically covered for me when I was going mad in the dark last week. You da man, woman!
So, this time around we get to visit the Giant’s castle in the clouds, end the mystery of the mystery man, and test how far we can suspend our disbelief as Jennifer Morrison tries to look like a teenager. Okay….for REAL…..what were they thinking? Not even a ponytail, red lipstick, and hipster glasses can make her look like a teeny bopper. Wouldn’t they have been better off finding someone that looks enough like Morrison but is in fact A TEENAGER??
What? I totes look twenteen, don’t I?
Yup. Fer sure.
Anyway, I’m getting just a smidge ahead of myself here. Let’s start at the beginning of the episode where we rejoin Hook and the Hookettes as they reach the base of the giant beanstalk. Hook takes this opportunity to give them (and us) a little history lesson.
Long ago giants grew magic portal beans so that they could travel between worlds and plunder other lands. Jack and his men fought a war that obliterated all but one of the giants. Oh, and the beans were destroyed by the giants as they died because if they couldn’t be around to plunder different lands then NO ONE would get to plunder different lands.
Emma asks why someone doesn’t just go up the beanstalk and grow more of the beans.
Did you miss the part where I said one of them survived?
Apparently the giant that survived was the biggest badass of them all and they’ll have to get past him to get the compass which will then guide them back to Storybrooke. Once they get the compass, they’ll steal the ashes from Cora and skedaddle outta there. Bing. Bang. Boom.
Why do I get the feeling you’re going to screw us over?
Hook says he doesn’t really give a crap who gets him to Storybrooke just so’s long as he gets there. Alright, well they better get to climbing, Emma says. Oh wait. There’s one little thing he forgot. Just one teensy weensy little thing he forgot….. the beanstalks have been magically treated with some sort of people climbing repellent.
But never fear, Hook has a couple of wrist cuffs magically treated to repel the repellent so they’ll be able to climb. He thinks they should fight it out to see who gets to go with him.
Feel free to rip each other’s clothes in the process
Before we find out who will be joining our favorite pirate, we flashback to Emma’s younger days and catch up with the SUPER REALISTICALLY young looking Swan stealing a yellow VW bug.