Last week, Spencer attempted to destroy Ezria by announcing to Ezra that he had a son. Ezra retaliated by crying and leaving town. Em found out that Ali may have been pregnant when she died and that Detective Douche might have been the baby daddy.
This week we open with the girls caffinating once again and discussing Ezra and how much Aria misses him. Spencer, much like myself, is bored with the conversation and walks away while the others wonder what her deal is. These girls drink so much coffee I can only imagine how rotten their teeth must be at this point. Jason stops by and invites the girls to another burial of Ali but this time above ground in a mausoleum Just cremate the bitch and spread her ashes over some water already. Her body must be so wretched after a year of being buried and unearthed and buried again. Jason also tells the girls that all the shit they put in Ali’s coffin is missing and the cops think whomever is in possession of the shit is who dug the body back up. Aria and Hanna have their momentos and Hanna wants to trash them but Aria can’t let go.
Mona confronts Spencer in such a beautiful passive-aggressive way that I almost shed a bitch tear. Mona knows that Spencer is on to her but she toys with her as if nothing is wrong and even threatens her with Toby before walking off. Hanna and Caleb have a boring moment about cleaning out the house Caleb was raised in. When they go to clean it out later the guy who is supposed to be Caleb’s uncle ends up kind of revealing himself as Caleb’s father. Yawn. I don’t understand why we should care about Caleb unless he was fucking Ali too and they somehow introduce him as another member of the A Team.
Aria is being a fucking creep hanging around Ezra’s apartment just hoping he shows up. The door rattles and instead of Ezra it’s his gay brother Wes who feels bad for Aria’s patheticness so he lets her stop by to water the non-existent plants in the apartment. Later they go for pizza and while walking home, Wes is confronted by his physic’s teacher’s husband who threatens to whupass. Wes wastes some good leftover pizza and hits him in the face before running off to the apartment. He explains that he tried to escape his family by failing out of prep school but ended up messing the physic’s teacher. I think, I couldn’t really understand what he was going on about. He then explains that his mom hates Aria because she was unexpected…I think it’s really because she’s jailbait and she doesn’t want her son to have to register as a sexual predator for the rest of his life. That could ruin his teaching career.