Pretty Little Liars Recap: Fakin’ Babies

Recaps

By Hypnotoad | Friday, June 29, 2012 | 1:01 pm | 15 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Featured, Pretty Little Liars, Recaps

Previously on Pretty Little Liars:  An episode aired and I recapped it.  I mean, seriously, the link is like, right there for you to click on.  God.

Oooh, cake!  All four of the girls are splitting a piece of cake at The Only Restaurant in Rosewood.  It really bugs me when people do this.  Unless you’re broke and can’t afford dessert, then eat a whole g.d. piece of cake, lame-o.  

“Is anyone else about to cry because the cake isn’t in cup form?”

No, Hanna.  No one else cares.  Do the girls believe Jenna’s story, or did she plot to take Emily to Alison’s grave?  God, if I had a nickel for every time I had that conversation with my high school friends . . . I’d have zero nickels.  None.  Nada.  So who else could be the new “A?”  Emily says Lucas, but Hanna is all, Nuh-uh to your uh-huh, Em.  Spencer says everything leads to the Black Swan.  Uh, so Melissa and Veronica (Spencer’s mom) are there as well, like at a separate table, but still paying for Spencer’s cake.  Weird.  So, could Melissa be the Black Swan or “A?”  Spencer says no.  Oh, look, Jason’s back to cause drama by bursting in and yelling at Veronica for representing Garrett since he (allegedly) killed Alison.  Veronica says that everyone deserves a competent legal defense.

 

Well, almost everyone.

Did Veronica get a new ‘do?  It looks weird.  Jason’s like, Are you sure there’s no other reason?    Veronica tells Jason to take care of his family and focus on himself and then Spencer runs out to talk to him.  Jason posts something on a light pole (which is illegal, Jason), which turns out to be a $50,000 reward for the recovery of Alison’s remains.  “A” texts them and is all, “Imagine what I could with $50,000.”  Two words:

 

DUNE BUGGIES!!

After the credits, Veronica is poring over articles and junk for her case, when Spencer comes in and shows her Jason’s reward poster.  Veronica says that stealing a body is a felony, so the person will get 10 years in the pokey and will probably be charged with Alison’s murder because it’ll be easy to build a case against that person.

Aria’s complaining, because it’s day-time and SHE’S ARIA, about her dad’s new haircut and cologne for his new lover (who I think is that girl he had an affair with back in the day).  Aria’s mom still doesn’t know about dad’s new lovah, so Aria brings it upon herself to tell her.  Ella’s gonna be so busy with schoolwork that she won’t have time for dinner, but she’ll be home all weekend.  Aria tells her that she needs to go out and shake things up a bit, hang out with some girlfriends, but Ella says that she’d rather spend time with her daughter, unless her daughter is busy making out with her immature ex-teacher boyfriend.  She’s not, so she’ll have some time with her ma.

At the nuthouse, Hanna is told that Mona isn’t allowed visitors anymore and has lost her visitation privileges for an undetermined amount of time.  Because she’s cray-cray in the hey-hey.  (Is that a thing?  Is that a saying?  Because I think I just made it up.  You guys should start saying it and give me credit for it.  Go!)

Back at The Bronze, I guess Emily’s got a job there now and the manager or shift supervisor is telling her about all kinds of coffee, which, come on — this is PLL.  These girls know more about coffee than those Columbian dudes who ride donkeys for 80 miles to pick the best, richest Columbian coffee beans.  Some dude shows up and asks for Emily.  Turns out he’s Nate, Maya’s cousin.  Oh, dip.  If he is hiding Maya, if it turns out she faked her own death or something, I will lose it, I will go apeshit, I will scratch someone’s eyes out.  I would have thought Emily would have pulled him aside, but she’s actually really mature (I know) and is all, It’s my first day, so I’ll have to call you later.  Which is fine, since Nate lives in Rosewood now.

“Hi.  I’m New Male Character #31.  I’ll be around for three episodes, then leave unexpectedly.  Then I’ll show up again 11 episodes later.”

Upon which I will have to consult google to remember what the hell his name is.  Nate goes to Hollis College, he didn’t tell Maya that he was coming, and he’s really looking forward to hanging out with Maya again.  Oh, awkward.  First of all, Maya’s dead, so good luck with that.  Second of all, I don’t think Maya was ever “fun” to “hang out with” in the first place.  (Editor’s note:  I realized later that he did in fact know that Maya was dead, so I’m not a complete idiot, but I like harsh jokes about Maya, so I’m leaving it.)

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6
Hypnotoad
About

Hypnotoad is a 2009 graduate of the MFA Writing program at the School of the Art Institute of Chicago. He was a staple of the Chicago Quickies reading series, has been published in various Art Institute publications, and served as an actor/playwright for the Curious Theatre Branch's Rhinoceros Festival. His works have been online at Fiction At Work and is included in their short story collection. A victim of the crappy economy, he is now living back in Kansas. With his parents. His days now consist of perusing Yahoo Hot Jobs, and sporadically posting horrible ideas on his blog. Good times.

15 Comments

  1. 1
    begonia skies
    Posted June 29, 2012 at 5:47 pm

    “…Now you have no baby, and no surprise dinner.” hahaha!

    i still feel like wren has something to do with A.

  2. 2
    Lizbot
    Posted June 29, 2012 at 6:14 pm

    No Ezra this episode? Almost makes me wish I had watched.

    The recap had me laughing out lad as per usual, but I’m just not motivated to make time to watch the actually show anymore.

    Good luck with the move and the new job.

  3. 3
    NikkiHughes
    Posted June 29, 2012 at 8:34 pm

    Ok, I just moved from 9 a.m. to 8 p.m. today to a new apartment. My back is breaking and every muscle is sore. So I don’t know if that is why, but you were on fire in this recap and I laughed way too many times to quote anything. But….Alf? Really?? lol

    I sure wish my parents were this MIA when I was 16!!

    Also, your friends don’t have internet? Someone else recapping this show is unacceptable! BUT, you know I love you, and good luck on your move and job. Maybe hit me up and give me the deets on where you’re going, etc. Closer to me!?!?! :D

  4. 4
    Pillania Pillania
    Posted June 29, 2012 at 9:29 pm

    Love your recaps, love this show. What does it say about me that I found the whole Melissa-coming-back-to-the-apartment scene to be truly suspenseful? I’m a little ashamed.

    I think Melissa knows they’re onto her (she totally knew that book was out of place) and made up the Black Swan story accordingly.

    I agree that Maya’s cousin, already forgot his name, is not really a relative and has ulterior motives.

    How is A this all powerful that he/she/it is actually flying to Cali to run Caleb’s mom off the road?! Girlfriend needs a hobby.

  5. 5
    Liz
    Posted June 29, 2012 at 10:45 pm

    Love your recaps, always and forever Hypno! I will miss you during your hiatus. Have a safe move!

    Yeah, I think Veronica is looking like Mariska Hargitay these days with that hair.

    Ooooh, what if cousin Nate ended up like Peyton’s fake half-brother stalker?? That would be awesome.

    I like Caleb because he’s the only character that consistently seems like a good person. And not a robot.

    Also, I’m starting to think The Bronze and The Only Restaurant in Rosewood are somehow the same. How did that coffee shop have “takeout”??

  6. 6
    plockeness monster plockeness monster
    Posted June 30, 2012 at 9:59 am

    Hilarious recap! I agree with Begonia, the no baby/no surprise dinner line was pure gold.

    I wish I had some awesome PLL predictions, but you kind of have to go with the flow or you’ll make yourself crazy.

  7. 7
    Hypnotoad Hypnotoad
    Posted June 30, 2012 at 7:45 pm

    My friends DO have internet, but they also have a 3 year-old and a 1 year-old, and I want to help out as much as I can, and they don’t live in the same area, so it’ll be a commute to and from my new job every day. Plus, when/while I’m moving, I won’t have internet until I get it hooked up. Boo. Hopefully it won’t be a long hiatus!

    I agree with your opinion of Caleb, Liz. He does seem to the be only one without an agenda (and yes, let’s not count The Tobot). Now if he would only cut that hair! I think the dude who plays him would be ever so much more attractive with shorter hair.

    Begonia — Wren could TOTALLY have something to do with “A.” I mean, can medical doctors actually just hang around institutions as part of their job? When I was in the asylum (they based Angelina Jolie’s character in “Girl, Interrupted” on me), I don’t remember that being the case. But I was too busy talking to Jesus to notice anything, so I don’t know. Wren’s just creeping me out. I really hope he doesn’t put the moves on Hanna. Of course, now that Caleb’s broken up with her, I’m sure he’ll be there for “sympathy.” Gross.

    And Maya’s “cousin” is totes up to something. Why is he so chummy with Emily? That whole “Sounds like a great first date to me” line really skeeved me out. He just met Emily AND she’s a lesbian AND she was dating his blood-relative. Ew.

    Liz: Refresh my drink — who is Peyton? Is that Hanna’s new half-sister? And how DID The Bronze have takeout? I thought it was just a coffee shop with little horrendously expensive scones and crap. This show . . . It bugs me so much. I love it.

  8. 8
    Liz
    Posted June 30, 2012 at 8:38 pm

    Omg, it’s not even just that Caleb’s hair is so long, it’s that they’ve now started mussing it for every scene. It’s ridic.

    And I’m sorry, that was a One Tree Hill reference. One of the characters, Peyton, was adopted, and one day the half-brother she had recently been told about showed up. All of her real and adopted family died (maybe her adopted dad just moved, but still she was living alone in high school) so she just believed him when he said he was her brother. But then it turned out he was actually a random stalker who lied about being her brother. He tried to kill her on prom night. It was super ridiculous, and awesome.

  9. 9
    Hypnotoad Hypnotoad
    Posted June 30, 2012 at 10:02 pm

    Liz! Why you gotta get me thinkin’ that there are more characters in this show than there really are?! Sheesh. ;)

  10. 10
    Hypnotoad Hypnotoad
    Posted June 30, 2012 at 10:14 pm

    Also, I kind of feel like that Peyton scenario HAD to have happened on some show before then. LIke 90210 or Melrose Place (the original, not the Ashlee Simpson piece of shit), some Aaron Spelling show. Or some WB crap like “Dawson’s Creek” or something. It didn’t happen on “Felicity,” because that show was focused on asshat Julie and her g.d. dad’s kidney (or maybe her stepdad. I really didn’t pay attention to Julie so much, because she sucked so much moist ass.)

  11. 11
    Liz
    Posted July 1, 2012 at 7:00 pm

    Lol! Sorry, it didn’t even occur to me that that would be confusing, which is stupid since we are obviously talking about PLL so I don’t know why you wouldn’t think I was referencing PLL.

    I fall into a weird age group (or maybe I was just really sheltered as a kid or something?) where I sorta missed all those shows so I wouldn’t know. But it seems like it had to have happened before on one of those shows!

  12. 12
    plockeness monster plockeness monster
    Posted July 2, 2012 at 12:44 pm

    Hypno – I feel pretty confident there was some type of kidnapping/stalking plot on the original MP. The story lines and character’s were bat shit cray.

  13. 13
    atlgirl
    Posted July 2, 2012 at 1:21 pm

    Keep the Maya jokes coming, Hypno. No one liked her, plus they’re hilarious.

    I actually almost liked Aria this episode, it was nice to see her care about something besides herself and her smarmy boyfriend. And I loved the scene between Aria and Hanna’s moms, a great 90′s reunion.

  14. 14
    Hypnotoad Hypnotoad
    Posted July 4, 2012 at 1:20 pm

    So apparently there was no new Pretty Little Liars episode this week. So, happy 4th of July! Or if you’re in not in America, happy 4th of July!

  15. 15
    thisbuggs4u
    Posted July 4, 2012 at 3:35 pm

    Happy 4th of July Hypno! I have found that I would much rather DVR PPL and watch a 3 hour block of Big Bang Theory reruns then watch this shit when it first airs. I don’t know, I am just not as into it as I was during the winter season…maybe because, oh IDK they are wanting us to think that Mona is A when really she isn’t…I watched this episode, but I feel like I missed so much, thanks for your recaps. Or was it just that boring? Detective what’s his ass is back, so that means he is up to no good. Wonder if he is going to go sniffing around Ashley again…wait, that is her name right? Hanna’s mom, Ashley?

    And seriously writers, wtf happened to Holden? I was hoping he would get paired with Aria and Ezra would just go away!

    Me thinks Jenna and Melissa are working together, I don’t believe for a minute that all of a sudden “someone sent me something and told me to be there.” bs…Some way some how they have lucas and Wren in on it too…

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *

*
*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Human Verification: In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.