Hanna’s on the horn with what I’m assuming is the nuthouse staff, asking them to call her if anything changes. Yeah. They’ll get right on that. Caleb shows up and surprises Hanna with tenth row tickets to Bon Iver. Hey, I’ve heard of Bon Iver! This show is so hip and fresh! I’m kind of surprised that Ashley Benson hasn’t been in a Cover Girl commercial. Or has she? I don’t think she has. Hanna isn’t excited as she’d normally be, because she’s bummed that she can’t visit Mona anymore, thanks to some douche who made her flip out (she thinks it was Lucas). WIll Caleb admit he was the one who made Mona freak the eff out? We’ll see . . .
Yeah, he pretty much immediately admitted it. He may have dirty hippie Bon Iver hair, but he’s honest, I’ll give him that. He says he just wanted to stop her from messing with Hanna and then she flipped out. Hanna asks him to trust her, but Caleb says it’s not good for her. Oh, but Wren thinks it’s good for Hanna to visit Mona. Yeah, you know what else Wren thinks is “good?” Making out with 16 year-olds while you’re engaged to their sisters. Douche. Caleb is growing on me, guys, because I think he’s literally the only male on this show who doesn’t have a hidden agenda. And I don’t count The Tobot because he has an agenda — motor oil for his creaky joints. Hanna says she has to talk to Wren because she can’t talk to Caleb about it and Caleb’s all, Wren doesn’t know everything I know! Hanna tells Caleb to stay out of it, so Caleb throws the tickets and heads out.
Later, Hanna’s talking to Aria about the fight and Aria suggests that she tell Caleb about what’s going on and about the new “A.” She says that if it were her, she’d tell Ezra about “A.” Huh? Isn’t she up shit creek without a paddle too? Isn’t she being blackmailed like the rest of them? So why doesn’t she tell Ezra about “A” then? Aria is on her laptop looking for some online dudes for her mom to date.
“I found this great site called ‘Manhunt!’ I’ll find her a man in no time!”
Uh, sure, Aria. Sure. Ashley stops by and the girls shut the laptop quickly, but then Ashley’s all, No more secrets, so let’s see the freaky porn you’re looking at. (I google-imaged “freaky porn.” I don’t suggest it.) Ashley tells them to use Mainline Mate.
Spencer is waiting for Jason at school. At first, I was like, The f**k is Jason doing at the high school? But then I remembered he does at-risk counseling or Sylvan Learning Center or light secretarial work (just filing, no typing), something dumb like that. Spencer tells Jason to withdraw the reward because he’ll just get a bunch of crazy people but Jason says he can tell when someone’s lying. I’m fairly sure there has been a lot of evidence on this show to the contrary of that statement, but I am FAR too lazy to look it up. Jason asks Spencer if she knows the REAL reason that Veronica took the case and suggests that Veronica has an ulterior motive. Melissa, perhaps, Spencer wonders.
Aria is making a profile for her mom. One time a friend created a profile for me on JDate (I’m not Jewish, but when I lived in Chicago, many people assumed I was Jewish. Mostly because I maintain a Hassidic hairstyle. Not really.). My profile read something like, “I’m not Jewish, but I like Jewish guys and I don’t care about my partner’s religion, I guess. Also, I really like bagels and potato pancakes and that one holiday that’s kind of like Halloween but not really.” Not one response. Hanna tells her to list Ella as a “hot mama.” This scene bugs. Next please.
So remember when I thought Nate said something about catching up with Maya? I don’t know how or why I misinterpreted that, because he knows that she’s dead. My bad. Nate says there was a family memorial, but since Maya’s not family, she wasn’t invited. But Nate has something for her from Maya, which turns out to be a t-shirt of “I Walked With a Zombie” which was the first movie she and Maya saw together, although they were doing more making out than watching, Em suggests. Nate: “Sounds like my kind of first date.”
“Ew. I barely know you.”
Nate’s already pissing me off. Probably because he’s related to Maya and you KNOW how much she pissed me off.