Pretty Little Liars Recap: Fakin’ Babies

Recaps

By Hypnotoad | Friday, June 29, 2012 | 1:01 pm | 15 Comments
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Posted in: Featured, Pretty Little Liars, Recaps

Hanna’s on the horn with what I’m assuming is the nuthouse staff, asking them to call her if anything changes.  Yeah.  They’ll get right on that.  Caleb shows up and surprises Hanna with tenth row tickets to Bon Iver.  Hey, I’ve heard of Bon Iver!  This show is so hip and fresh!  I’m kind of surprised that Ashley Benson hasn’t been in a Cover Girl commercial.  Or has she?  I don’t think she has.  Hanna isn’t excited as she’d normally be, because she’s bummed that she can’t visit Mona anymore, thanks to some douche who made her flip out (she thinks it was Lucas).  WIll Caleb admit he was the one who made Mona freak the eff out?  We’ll see . . .

Yeah, he pretty much immediately admitted it.  He may have dirty hippie Bon Iver hair, but he’s honest, I’ll give him that.  He says he just wanted to stop her from messing with Hanna and then she flipped out.  Hanna asks him to trust her, but Caleb says it’s not good for her.  Oh, but Wren thinks it’s good for Hanna to visit Mona.  Yeah, you know what else Wren thinks is “good?”  Making out with 16 year-olds while you’re engaged to their sisters.  Douche.  Caleb is growing on me, guys, because I think he’s literally the only male on this show who doesn’t have a hidden agenda.  And I don’t count The Tobot because he has an agenda — motor oil for his creaky joints.  Hanna says she has to talk to Wren because she can’t talk to Caleb about it and Caleb’s all, Wren doesn’t know everything I know!  Hanna tells Caleb to stay out of it, so Caleb throws the tickets and heads out.

Later, Hanna’s talking to Aria about the fight and Aria suggests that she tell Caleb about what’s going on and about the new “A.”  She says that if it were her, she’d tell Ezra about “A.”  Huh?  Isn’t she up shit creek without a paddle too?  Isn’t she being blackmailed like the rest of them?  So why doesn’t she tell Ezra about “A” then?  Aria is on her laptop looking for some online dudes for her mom to date.

“I found this great site called ‘Manhunt!’  I’ll find her a man in no time!”

Uh, sure, Aria.  Sure.  Ashley stops by and the girls shut the laptop quickly, but then Ashley’s all, No more secrets, so let’s see the freaky porn you’re looking at.  (I google-imaged “freaky porn.”  I don’t suggest it.)  Ashley tells them to use Mainline Mate.  

Spencer is waiting for Jason at school.  At first, I was like, The f**k is Jason doing at the high school?  But then I remembered he does at-risk counseling or Sylvan Learning Center or light secretarial work (just filing, no typing), something dumb like that.  Spencer tells Jason to withdraw the reward because he’ll just get a bunch of crazy people but Jason says he can tell when someone’s lying.  I’m fairly sure there has been a lot of evidence on this show to the contrary of that statement, but I am FAR too lazy to look it up.  Jason asks Spencer if she knows the REAL reason that Veronica took the case and suggests that Veronica has an ulterior motive.  Melissa, perhaps, Spencer wonders.

Aria is making a profile for her mom.  One time a friend created a profile for me on JDate (I’m not Jewish, but when I lived in Chicago, many people assumed I was Jewish.  Mostly because I maintain a Hassidic hairstyle.  Not really.).  My profile read something like, “I’m not Jewish, but I like Jewish guys and I don’t care about my partner’s religion, I guess.  Also, I really like bagels and potato pancakes and that one holiday that’s kind of like Halloween but not really.”  Not one response.  Hanna tells her to list Ella as a “hot mama.”  This scene bugs.  Next please.

So remember when I thought Nate said something about catching up with Maya?  I don’t know how or why I misinterpreted that, because he knows that she’s dead.  My bad.  Nate says there was a family memorial, but since Maya’s not family, she wasn’t invited.  But Nate has something for her from Maya, which turns out to be a t-shirt of “I Walked With a Zombie” which was the first movie she and Maya saw together, although they were doing more making out than watching, Em suggests.  Nate:  “Sounds like my kind of first date.”

“Ew.  I barely know you.”

Nate’s already pissing me off.  Probably because he’s related to Maya and you KNOW how much she pissed me off.  

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Hypnotoad
About

Hypnotoad is a 2009 graduate of the MFA Writing program at the School of the Art Institute of Chicago. He was a staple of the Chicago Quickies reading series, has been published in various Art Institute publications, and served as an actor/playwright for the Curious Theatre Branch's Rhinoceros Festival. His works have been online at Fiction At Work and is included in their short story collection. A victim of the crappy economy, he is now living back in Kansas. With his parents. His days now consist of perusing Yahoo Hot Jobs, and sporadically posting horrible ideas on his blog. Good times.

15 Comments

  1. 1
    begonia skies
    Posted June 29, 2012 at 5:47 pm

    “…Now you have no baby, and no surprise dinner.” hahaha!

    i still feel like wren has something to do with A.

  2. 2
    Lizbot
    Posted June 29, 2012 at 6:14 pm

    No Ezra this episode? Almost makes me wish I had watched.

    The recap had me laughing out lad as per usual, but I’m just not motivated to make time to watch the actually show anymore.

    Good luck with the move and the new job.

  3. 3
    NikkiHughes
    Posted June 29, 2012 at 8:34 pm

    Ok, I just moved from 9 a.m. to 8 p.m. today to a new apartment. My back is breaking and every muscle is sore. So I don’t know if that is why, but you were on fire in this recap and I laughed way too many times to quote anything. But….Alf? Really?? lol

    I sure wish my parents were this MIA when I was 16!!

    Also, your friends don’t have internet? Someone else recapping this show is unacceptable! BUT, you know I love you, and good luck on your move and job. Maybe hit me up and give me the deets on where you’re going, etc. Closer to me!?!?! :D

  4. 4
    Pillania Pillania
    Posted June 29, 2012 at 9:29 pm

    Love your recaps, love this show. What does it say about me that I found the whole Melissa-coming-back-to-the-apartment scene to be truly suspenseful? I’m a little ashamed.

    I think Melissa knows they’re onto her (she totally knew that book was out of place) and made up the Black Swan story accordingly.

    I agree that Maya’s cousin, already forgot his name, is not really a relative and has ulterior motives.

    How is A this all powerful that he/she/it is actually flying to Cali to run Caleb’s mom off the road?! Girlfriend needs a hobby.

  5. 5
    Liz
    Posted June 29, 2012 at 10:45 pm

    Love your recaps, always and forever Hypno! I will miss you during your hiatus. Have a safe move!

    Yeah, I think Veronica is looking like Mariska Hargitay these days with that hair.

    Ooooh, what if cousin Nate ended up like Peyton’s fake half-brother stalker?? That would be awesome.

    I like Caleb because he’s the only character that consistently seems like a good person. And not a robot.

    Also, I’m starting to think The Bronze and The Only Restaurant in Rosewood are somehow the same. How did that coffee shop have “takeout”??

  6. 6
    plockeness monster plockeness monster
    Posted June 30, 2012 at 9:59 am

    Hilarious recap! I agree with Begonia, the no baby/no surprise dinner line was pure gold.

    I wish I had some awesome PLL predictions, but you kind of have to go with the flow or you’ll make yourself crazy.

  7. 7
    Hypnotoad Hypnotoad
    Posted June 30, 2012 at 7:45 pm

    My friends DO have internet, but they also have a 3 year-old and a 1 year-old, and I want to help out as much as I can, and they don’t live in the same area, so it’ll be a commute to and from my new job every day. Plus, when/while I’m moving, I won’t have internet until I get it hooked up. Boo. Hopefully it won’t be a long hiatus!

    I agree with your opinion of Caleb, Liz. He does seem to the be only one without an agenda (and yes, let’s not count The Tobot). Now if he would only cut that hair! I think the dude who plays him would be ever so much more attractive with shorter hair.

    Begonia — Wren could TOTALLY have something to do with “A.” I mean, can medical doctors actually just hang around institutions as part of their job? When I was in the asylum (they based Angelina Jolie’s character in “Girl, Interrupted” on me), I don’t remember that being the case. But I was too busy talking to Jesus to notice anything, so I don’t know. Wren’s just creeping me out. I really hope he doesn’t put the moves on Hanna. Of course, now that Caleb’s broken up with her, I’m sure he’ll be there for “sympathy.” Gross.

    And Maya’s “cousin” is totes up to something. Why is he so chummy with Emily? That whole “Sounds like a great first date to me” line really skeeved me out. He just met Emily AND she’s a lesbian AND she was dating his blood-relative. Ew.

    Liz: Refresh my drink — who is Peyton? Is that Hanna’s new half-sister? And how DID The Bronze have takeout? I thought it was just a coffee shop with little horrendously expensive scones and crap. This show . . . It bugs me so much. I love it.

  8. 8
    Liz
    Posted June 30, 2012 at 8:38 pm

    Omg, it’s not even just that Caleb’s hair is so long, it’s that they’ve now started mussing it for every scene. It’s ridic.

    And I’m sorry, that was a One Tree Hill reference. One of the characters, Peyton, was adopted, and one day the half-brother she had recently been told about showed up. All of her real and adopted family died (maybe her adopted dad just moved, but still she was living alone in high school) so she just believed him when he said he was her brother. But then it turned out he was actually a random stalker who lied about being her brother. He tried to kill her on prom night. It was super ridiculous, and awesome.

  9. 9
    Hypnotoad Hypnotoad
    Posted June 30, 2012 at 10:02 pm

    Liz! Why you gotta get me thinkin’ that there are more characters in this show than there really are?! Sheesh. ;)

  10. 10
    Hypnotoad Hypnotoad
    Posted June 30, 2012 at 10:14 pm

    Also, I kind of feel like that Peyton scenario HAD to have happened on some show before then. LIke 90210 or Melrose Place (the original, not the Ashlee Simpson piece of shit), some Aaron Spelling show. Or some WB crap like “Dawson’s Creek” or something. It didn’t happen on “Felicity,” because that show was focused on asshat Julie and her g.d. dad’s kidney (or maybe her stepdad. I really didn’t pay attention to Julie so much, because she sucked so much moist ass.)

  11. 11
    Liz
    Posted July 1, 2012 at 7:00 pm

    Lol! Sorry, it didn’t even occur to me that that would be confusing, which is stupid since we are obviously talking about PLL so I don’t know why you wouldn’t think I was referencing PLL.

    I fall into a weird age group (or maybe I was just really sheltered as a kid or something?) where I sorta missed all those shows so I wouldn’t know. But it seems like it had to have happened before on one of those shows!

  12. 12
    plockeness monster plockeness monster
    Posted July 2, 2012 at 12:44 pm

    Hypno – I feel pretty confident there was some type of kidnapping/stalking plot on the original MP. The story lines and character’s were bat shit cray.

  13. 13
    atlgirl
    Posted July 2, 2012 at 1:21 pm

    Keep the Maya jokes coming, Hypno. No one liked her, plus they’re hilarious.

    I actually almost liked Aria this episode, it was nice to see her care about something besides herself and her smarmy boyfriend. And I loved the scene between Aria and Hanna’s moms, a great 90′s reunion.

  14. 14
    Hypnotoad Hypnotoad
    Posted July 4, 2012 at 1:20 pm

    So apparently there was no new Pretty Little Liars episode this week. So, happy 4th of July! Or if you’re in not in America, happy 4th of July!

  15. 15
    thisbuggs4u
    Posted July 4, 2012 at 3:35 pm

    Happy 4th of July Hypno! I have found that I would much rather DVR PPL and watch a 3 hour block of Big Bang Theory reruns then watch this shit when it first airs. I don’t know, I am just not as into it as I was during the winter season…maybe because, oh IDK they are wanting us to think that Mona is A when really she isn’t…I watched this episode, but I feel like I missed so much, thanks for your recaps. Or was it just that boring? Detective what’s his ass is back, so that means he is up to no good. Wonder if he is going to go sniffing around Ashley again…wait, that is her name right? Hanna’s mom, Ashley?

    And seriously writers, wtf happened to Holden? I was hoping he would get paired with Aria and Ezra would just go away!

    Me thinks Jenna and Melissa are working together, I don’t believe for a minute that all of a sudden “someone sent me something and told me to be there.” bs…Some way some how they have lucas and Wren in on it too…

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