Pretty Little Liars Recap: Fakin’ Babies

Recaps

By Hypnotoad | Friday, June 29, 2012 | 1:01 pm | 15 Comments
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Posted in: Featured, Pretty Little Liars, Recaps

Nate is back at The Bronze again, where Emily gives Nate his book back.  Nate conveniently forgot Maya’s parents’ address in his car.  And he conveniently is going to the post office tomorrow.  And he can conveniently add the address to the letter and mail it for her.  You know, conveniently.  Em says they should hang out some time and Nate says he might leave Rosewood and Hollis because all anyone can talk about is Maya’s death.  And how awesome it was?!  Okay, that was low, you guys, I’ll admit that.  My apologies.  Mostly.  Kind of.  Nate says he wants to think about how Maya lived and not how she died.  So, a snipe-y pothead who treated everyone, but especially her sweet girlfriend, like shit?  Cuz that’s how I remember her.  Emily tells Nate that Maya wouldn’t want him to leave school.  Of course not — she’d want him to stick around so he could get her into all the good frat parties.  Nate tells Emily that she’ll have to let Maya go at some point and Emily tells Nate that if he stays in Rosewood, he’ll have a friend.  In Jesus.  And also Emily, I guess.  Nate says that Maya was a lucky girl.  Now, THAT I’ll agree with.  Emily was WAAAAAAAY too good for Maya.  Then again, even Alf was way too good for Maya.

Hanna’s crying as some weepy indie song plays that every 13 year-old girl will google and download immediately after this episode and then play over and over in her room because it’s just.  So.  Sad, you guys!  Like, the song is super sad, just like my 13 year-old life!  Montage of sad faces.  Sad Hanna.  Sad Emily. Sad Caleb.  Sad Spencer.  Spencer walks by Jason’s house.  Is Jason sad as well?  I don’t know.  Or care.  Why is Jason always on his porch?  Has the set crew not finished building the rest of it yet?  It’s season 3, guys, get on that, maybe.  Jason says he’s received a lot of phone calls about Alison’s remains, but nothing worked out.  Spencer says she’s so ready to go to college and get out of Rosewood.  Jason says that she won’t be fully able to get away and adds that he’s going to see his parents in a few days and that he’s withdrawing the reward.  Spencer’s all, The truth always comes out, one way or another.

One way or another . . .

Spencer leaves and then Jason writes a check to “Cash” for $50,000.  He has horrible handwriting.  It’s like a kindergartener serial killer’s handwriting.  Then he calls someone and tells them to meet him in the parking lot in 15 minutes.  Spencer’s still walking alone at night, which is smart, since she’s being threatened and blackmailed, and then Detective Wilden shows up and is all, How far is your parents’ lake house?  Spencer wants to know why, but Det. Wilden is all, “Just curious.”

“A” Sequence:  “A” is drinking a cocktail at the Montecito airport.  Wow, this “A” really likes the sauce.  Can we assume it has to be someone over 21?  Or perhaps he/she has a fake i.d.  He/she is using the laptop with gloves on (does that even work?) and changes Mona’s visitation to “Permitted.”  Wow, that was easy.  The sanitarium might want to beef up their i.t. security.  Just a thought.  He/she leaves a $50 bill on the table.  Well, “A” might be a blackmailer, but he/she leaves one hell of a tip.

On another note:  I’m going through some life changes or “transitions” as some people like to call them.  And while I’m not having gender reassignment surgery and competing on America’s Next Top Model, like you’re hoping, I will be moving to another (bigger, thank god) city and starting a new (thank god) job.  I’ll be living with friends and trying to find a new place.  “But how does this affect me, the reader?!” you ask yourself.  Man, you’re selfish.  Basically, I’ll be recapping PLL until around the end of July and then someone else will take over for a while.  Depending on how fast I find a place and get internet (soon, god-willing!) I’ll be back to recap the last few eps of this half-season.  If not, though, I’ll definitely be back for the fall/winter premiere.  It’s just a little PLL vacay, you guys, nothing else.

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Hypnotoad
About

Hypnotoad is a 2009 graduate of the MFA Writing program at the School of the Art Institute of Chicago. He was a staple of the Chicago Quickies reading series, has been published in various Art Institute publications, and served as an actor/playwright for the Curious Theatre Branch's Rhinoceros Festival. His works have been online at Fiction At Work and is included in their short story collection. A victim of the crappy economy, he is now living back in Kansas. With his parents. His days now consist of perusing Yahoo Hot Jobs, and sporadically posting horrible ideas on his blog. Good times.

15 Comments

  1. 1
    begonia skies
    Posted June 29, 2012 at 5:47 pm

    “…Now you have no baby, and no surprise dinner.” hahaha!

    i still feel like wren has something to do with A.

  2. 2
    Lizbot
    Posted June 29, 2012 at 6:14 pm

    No Ezra this episode? Almost makes me wish I had watched.

    The recap had me laughing out lad as per usual, but I’m just not motivated to make time to watch the actually show anymore.

    Good luck with the move and the new job.

  3. 3
    NikkiHughes
    Posted June 29, 2012 at 8:34 pm

    Ok, I just moved from 9 a.m. to 8 p.m. today to a new apartment. My back is breaking and every muscle is sore. So I don’t know if that is why, but you were on fire in this recap and I laughed way too many times to quote anything. But….Alf? Really?? lol

    I sure wish my parents were this MIA when I was 16!!

    Also, your friends don’t have internet? Someone else recapping this show is unacceptable! BUT, you know I love you, and good luck on your move and job. Maybe hit me up and give me the deets on where you’re going, etc. Closer to me!?!?! :D

  4. 4
    Pillania Pillania
    Posted June 29, 2012 at 9:29 pm

    Love your recaps, love this show. What does it say about me that I found the whole Melissa-coming-back-to-the-apartment scene to be truly suspenseful? I’m a little ashamed.

    I think Melissa knows they’re onto her (she totally knew that book was out of place) and made up the Black Swan story accordingly.

    I agree that Maya’s cousin, already forgot his name, is not really a relative and has ulterior motives.

    How is A this all powerful that he/she/it is actually flying to Cali to run Caleb’s mom off the road?! Girlfriend needs a hobby.

  5. 5
    Liz
    Posted June 29, 2012 at 10:45 pm

    Love your recaps, always and forever Hypno! I will miss you during your hiatus. Have a safe move!

    Yeah, I think Veronica is looking like Mariska Hargitay these days with that hair.

    Ooooh, what if cousin Nate ended up like Peyton’s fake half-brother stalker?? That would be awesome.

    I like Caleb because he’s the only character that consistently seems like a good person. And not a robot.

    Also, I’m starting to think The Bronze and The Only Restaurant in Rosewood are somehow the same. How did that coffee shop have “takeout”??

  6. 6
    plockeness monster plockeness monster
    Posted June 30, 2012 at 9:59 am

    Hilarious recap! I agree with Begonia, the no baby/no surprise dinner line was pure gold.

    I wish I had some awesome PLL predictions, but you kind of have to go with the flow or you’ll make yourself crazy.

  7. 7
    Hypnotoad Hypnotoad
    Posted June 30, 2012 at 7:45 pm

    My friends DO have internet, but they also have a 3 year-old and a 1 year-old, and I want to help out as much as I can, and they don’t live in the same area, so it’ll be a commute to and from my new job every day. Plus, when/while I’m moving, I won’t have internet until I get it hooked up. Boo. Hopefully it won’t be a long hiatus!

    I agree with your opinion of Caleb, Liz. He does seem to the be only one without an agenda (and yes, let’s not count The Tobot). Now if he would only cut that hair! I think the dude who plays him would be ever so much more attractive with shorter hair.

    Begonia — Wren could TOTALLY have something to do with “A.” I mean, can medical doctors actually just hang around institutions as part of their job? When I was in the asylum (they based Angelina Jolie’s character in “Girl, Interrupted” on me), I don’t remember that being the case. But I was too busy talking to Jesus to notice anything, so I don’t know. Wren’s just creeping me out. I really hope he doesn’t put the moves on Hanna. Of course, now that Caleb’s broken up with her, I’m sure he’ll be there for “sympathy.” Gross.

    And Maya’s “cousin” is totes up to something. Why is he so chummy with Emily? That whole “Sounds like a great first date to me” line really skeeved me out. He just met Emily AND she’s a lesbian AND she was dating his blood-relative. Ew.

    Liz: Refresh my drink — who is Peyton? Is that Hanna’s new half-sister? And how DID The Bronze have takeout? I thought it was just a coffee shop with little horrendously expensive scones and crap. This show . . . It bugs me so much. I love it.

  8. 8
    Liz
    Posted June 30, 2012 at 8:38 pm

    Omg, it’s not even just that Caleb’s hair is so long, it’s that they’ve now started mussing it for every scene. It’s ridic.

    And I’m sorry, that was a One Tree Hill reference. One of the characters, Peyton, was adopted, and one day the half-brother she had recently been told about showed up. All of her real and adopted family died (maybe her adopted dad just moved, but still she was living alone in high school) so she just believed him when he said he was her brother. But then it turned out he was actually a random stalker who lied about being her brother. He tried to kill her on prom night. It was super ridiculous, and awesome.

  9. 9
    Hypnotoad Hypnotoad
    Posted June 30, 2012 at 10:02 pm

    Liz! Why you gotta get me thinkin’ that there are more characters in this show than there really are?! Sheesh. ;)

  10. 10
    Hypnotoad Hypnotoad
    Posted June 30, 2012 at 10:14 pm

    Also, I kind of feel like that Peyton scenario HAD to have happened on some show before then. LIke 90210 or Melrose Place (the original, not the Ashlee Simpson piece of shit), some Aaron Spelling show. Or some WB crap like “Dawson’s Creek” or something. It didn’t happen on “Felicity,” because that show was focused on asshat Julie and her g.d. dad’s kidney (or maybe her stepdad. I really didn’t pay attention to Julie so much, because she sucked so much moist ass.)

  11. 11
    Liz
    Posted July 1, 2012 at 7:00 pm

    Lol! Sorry, it didn’t even occur to me that that would be confusing, which is stupid since we are obviously talking about PLL so I don’t know why you wouldn’t think I was referencing PLL.

    I fall into a weird age group (or maybe I was just really sheltered as a kid or something?) where I sorta missed all those shows so I wouldn’t know. But it seems like it had to have happened before on one of those shows!

  12. 12
    plockeness monster plockeness monster
    Posted July 2, 2012 at 12:44 pm

    Hypno – I feel pretty confident there was some type of kidnapping/stalking plot on the original MP. The story lines and character’s were bat shit cray.

  13. 13
    atlgirl
    Posted July 2, 2012 at 1:21 pm

    Keep the Maya jokes coming, Hypno. No one liked her, plus they’re hilarious.

    I actually almost liked Aria this episode, it was nice to see her care about something besides herself and her smarmy boyfriend. And I loved the scene between Aria and Hanna’s moms, a great 90′s reunion.

  14. 14
    Hypnotoad Hypnotoad
    Posted July 4, 2012 at 1:20 pm

    So apparently there was no new Pretty Little Liars episode this week. So, happy 4th of July! Or if you’re in not in America, happy 4th of July!

  15. 15
    thisbuggs4u
    Posted July 4, 2012 at 3:35 pm

    Happy 4th of July Hypno! I have found that I would much rather DVR PPL and watch a 3 hour block of Big Bang Theory reruns then watch this shit when it first airs. I don’t know, I am just not as into it as I was during the winter season…maybe because, oh IDK they are wanting us to think that Mona is A when really she isn’t…I watched this episode, but I feel like I missed so much, thanks for your recaps. Or was it just that boring? Detective what’s his ass is back, so that means he is up to no good. Wonder if he is going to go sniffing around Ashley again…wait, that is her name right? Hanna’s mom, Ashley?

    And seriously writers, wtf happened to Holden? I was hoping he would get paired with Aria and Ezra would just go away!

    Me thinks Jenna and Melissa are working together, I don’t believe for a minute that all of a sudden “someone sent me something and told me to be there.” bs…Some way some how they have lucas and Wren in on it too…

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