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In the kitchen, Paige asks Emily about Nate and Emily says that it’s complicated. Aria shows up and then Paige leaves in a huff. Aria takes some tea and pours it all over Laurel’s equipment and is all, “I’m getting into her studio tonight.” Huh?
Spencer texts Emily and tells her that she had to leave the hospital, and then:
Oh, Tobot. He tells her that he thought that getting his own place above The Bronze (he calls it The Broom or something, I don’t know, it’s hard to understand robots sometimes) would have eased his family drama, but such is not the case since Jenna’s throwing her Happy Birthday to My Eyes and Boobs Party right below him. Spencer tells The Tobot that she’d love to make out all night, but she has a French test to study for. But eff it, he can stay anyway. She asks Toby how come they were the only 2 who knew that Jenna was faking her sight for so long. Toby says that she told her parents she started seeing shadows and crap over the summer but was too scared to tell them about it. The Tobot looks very Chris Isaak-y tonight.
Back at the party, Paige is tipping the flask again, and Ezra is pissed that Aria left him alone to talk with Jenna. He wants to leave prontito, but Aria tells him they should stay for a few more minutes. And then Paige is drunk and poking cupcakes with her finger (hee) and Jenna’s all, You’re drunk! And Paige is like, Nuh-uh! And Emily’s all, Paige come with me! And Paige goes, Oh, so now you have time for me?! Then Paige goes off to dance by herself, but she doesn’t really get very far because she trips on something and cuts her head open. Happy birthday, Jenna!!
At the hospital, Hanna shows up to be with Emily. So sweet! Just like a cupcake. Nate goes to get the girls some coffee and Hanna shows Emily the jacket. Em confirms that it’s hers from a rip in the pocket. Hanna mentions that Em didn’t have it on at the graveyard, so did she leave it in Jenna’s car or something? Emily says that maybe Jenna wasn’t the only person she saw that night. Hanna goes back to the church and then Nate shows up with the coffee. Oh, thank god, because I was worried about the coffee plot. Em sees Det. Wilden and starts to text someone.
Back at the party, Aria’s running around like a dumbass, ending up in the kitchen, where Ezra comes in to whine like a hipster baby, all, Me wantee dinner, me wantee dinner! These two are coming dangerously close to being my least favorite television couple ever.
Wah wah wah me wantee spend money on you, Aria wah wah wah! Ezra wanted to take Aria out to celebrate the fact that he got a g.d. editing job. I hate you, Ezra. I hate you so, so much. Even with the scandal of OPENLY dating your ex-student, even with leaving your freaking high school English teaching job partly because of said relationship, you still get a freaking editing job. Suck it, Ezra. Suck it two times. Hell, suck it a third time, even. Laurel comes in and is all, Oh no my equipment! Aria’s all, I can go to your studio and get you more memory cards! Laurel is all, That’s great! Aria’s all, Awesome! I’m all, Suck it again, Ezra. Aria says she’ll be right back and Eeyore — oh, sorry, I meant Ezra — is all, “I’ll call the restaurant and cancel the reservation.” Aria tells him just to call and hold it a little longer.
Aria walks over to Laurel’s studio and heads inside as sinister-y music plays. She opens a cabinet and finds a bag of crap with a tag attached to it. Whose name is on the tag?
I wish. I really, really do. Actually, it’s Lucas’s bag of crap. Aria’s looking through stuff and someone’s shadow moves across the wall, of course. She heads outside and runs into Lucas, who is crazy as f**k now and is all, “I need to get inside.” Aria says she can’t, but Lucas won’t move at all and is all menace-y. Well, as menace-y as Lucas can be. Ezra pulls up and wonders what’s going on and Lucas scampers away like Bart Simpson during that episode where he sold his soul to Milhouse.
Also, does anyone else think a fight between Ezra and Lucas would end up being a fight like Hugh Grant and Colin Firth had in “Bridget Jones’s Diary?” It’d be even more of a wuss-off, it anything. I really want to watch that movie now . . .