Pretty Little Liars Recap: Misery Loves Company

Last week Paige turned into a pussy and had a break down in the middle of the woods which caused Emily to run away from her, Mona and Hanna had a public break up, Aria teamed up with her homewrecking father’s mistress to figure out if he killed Ali and Spencer lost a brain bowl to Mona. This week opens with Emily, Spencer and Hanna catching syphilis from Aria by hanging out with her while sick. Hanna already has a case so she sits as close as she can while A watches from a distance because A is smart. The girls discuss Byron and Meredith and what Aria will do if she finds out that he really did harm Ali. She says she can’t keep this secret but she’s been doing pretty well at keeping secrets lately so who knows. Mona and Toby are being creepy in the new A Lair trying on new black hoodies and discussing if they have gone too far. Mona reminds Toby that they aren’t in charge, she is, and they need to let the girls know. Anyone think A might be Jenna or Melissa at this point and NOT Alison?

Toby and Em are hanging in his apartment as a diversion so Em can get his keys for Spencer. Toby tries to gauge how close the girls are to catching him by asking Emily if she would tell him if A was still messing with them. He’s so worried about being caught but he gives up his apartment keys to her quite easily. Who knows what shit he has hiding around his place? Caleb has been missing the last few episodes because he finally got a haircut so he doesn’t look so Hanson-y. Hanna is busy getting ready for a job interview but not too busy to catch Caleb talking on the phone making plans to meet someone later that day. Toby and Spencer are getting dressed and Spencer complains that she wants to hang out with him for their anniversary but has to attend some dinner that night. Lawyer Hastings decides to make an appearance and kicks Shirtless Butterface out so she can give Spencer a recipe for the surprise dinner she plans on making for him that night. The parents on this show amaze me because she doesn’t even blink an eye at the fact that he’s running around half naked in her teenage daughter’s room or that she is going to make a dinner at his apartment alone that night. They almost died and that wasn’t cool but pregnancy or STDs are. That hole in Toby’s pants pocket…I know what that’s for. *Easy Access*

Meredith is sneaking around Aria’s living room probably looking for drug money when Aria wakes up and figures out that her phone is missing. Meredith thinks that she is sick from the stress of all the secrets and tries to probe her for the location of the papers but Aria falls out before she can get an answer. I don’t understand why Meredith is so dead set on finding these pages when she HAD THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE. Why didn’t she make a copy if they were so important? Paige and Emily are having some picnic at school instead of attending classes when Paige tells Em that she is going to see an therapist. Hanna then interrupts them to persuade Emily to follow Caleb because she is worried he will go after Mona. She isn’t worried that he’s going to cheat and meet some girl…she’s worried he might go after Mona for torturing them…That totally makes sense. Meredith meets up with Ella to let her know that Aria is feeling better (she’s not) and that she should call her when she has a chance. Ella walks off to call Aria but that call goes nowhere as Meredith has Aria’s cell phone. #WhereIsMikeAnyway? He’s definitely not at home or at school and apparently his mom doesn’t care.