Pretty Little Liars Recap: Mona-Mania!

Last week Mona woke Hanna up for cookies and milk before returning back to life at Rosewood High, Jason was definitely the person that Aria stabbed, Meredith got burned…literally and Byron moved up a couple of notches on the creepy parent totem pole. Aria is watching an old black and white movie…go fucking figure. I get that she’s supposed to be this old soul and all but does she ever watch anything from this era? Girl Anachronism much? Byron comes in and turns the TV off to attempt to apologize to her for blaming her and the other liars for trying to blow up his mistress. He reaches out to touch her but Aria recoils and it’s creepy…like why would you not want your father to touch you? Aria dismisses his apology and turns the TV back on because she doesn’t have a DVR so she can’t stop and restart programming. Why doesn’t she just live with Ella or is that where Mike is hiding? #WhereIsMikeAnyway.

The other girls are breaking into Harold’s office again because they didn’t take enough evidence the first time. I’m telling you they all have cameras on their cell phones why can’t they ever take pictures or videos so they have solid proof? Even Noel was smart enough to have security cameras set up on his lake house…they were probably for filming porn but whatevs. Spencer is starting to really believe that Garrett had been telling the truth and Hanna confesses to Daddy issues. While trying to turn the lights on, the girls realize they aren’t alone in the tiny ass office as a hooded A dashes out from the corner and straight into Hanna, who recognizes his shoes. Seriously she would notice something as stupid as footwear. A was nice enough to flip the light switch and the girls realize all traces of Harold and the evidence have disappeared when they find Ali’s diary with a note inside telling them to move along. They later meet with Aria at the coffee shop and discuss their troubles with nightmares when Mona walks over and adds that she too is having trouble sleeping. The liars clearly have issues with whispering and sneaking around so it’s no wonder A knows their every move. They yell it loudly for anyone within radius to hear them. Mona conveniently tells them that Harold and she were friendly but then he started stalking her and that he was the one responsible for the explosion which was meant for her. He has also mysteriously disappeared before the police could arrest him.

Hanna decides to go to school for once but only so she can confront Lucas who she recognized as the hooded A from Harold’s office. Lucas is nervous and jittery…kind of like those people you see on Intervention. He brushes Hanna off saying it’s not safe with Mona around but then blabs about how he is the one that set the explosion in an attempt to scare Mona. For real though people on meth get jittery and are paranoid and Lucas is always one of those two things. Paige and Emily also decide to attend a few classes but clearly Paige has been rattled since the whole random Nate tried to kill me incident. Paige was the one terrorizing people with her butchiness and trying to drown people in pools but she’s scared of some dead dude who held her in a closet for a few hours and threatened her with a steak knife? When did Paige turn into such a pussy? Emily gets Paige to agree to go to a party later but only by promising to give her some lady action in the woods. Aria is also in school but just to give some papers to her mother for a classroom project. They discuss the night Ali went missing and Ella tells her that she and Byron drank copious amounts of wine to celebrate being away from the kids. She ended up so drunk she passed out cold. Ella apologizes for not being there while the girls were going through something as horrific as falling asleep and waking up with their friend missing. Meredith walks by and peeps in the window but keeps moving along. What a nosy bitch. She was probably just as surprised as I am that they all managed to make it to school.