Pretty Little Liars Recap: Out of the Frying Pan, Into the Inferno

Spencer rides her bike to the park…wait doesn’t this bitch have a car? Did Mike steal the car? She spots Fitz and berates him for dumping Aria and how hard it was on Aria to keep it a secret that Fitz had a son and bam…Spencer projected her own feelings onto Ezra and revealed that he had a son. She rides off and Ezra half ass attempts to go after her. Em’s mom is at the police station where she apparently works now and discusses with Random Cop Maple, in front of that dickhead detective Ashley screwed, the package that Emily received. He jumps in and offers to have all packages diverted to the police first. Em is still going over the notebook when she finds a picture of CeCe and Ali during better times. The girls are eating lunch when Fitz appears and tells Aria that Spencer revealed that she has a son. They blah blah about it and Aria basically says she is sorry but she was scared to lose him…opps too late for that. Toby sends a text to Aria gloating that he set Spencer up in order to push Aria into revealing the truth to Ezra. I wonder how Toby and Mona knew about Fitz’s son when Aria just found out herself. It definitely wasn’t something she spilt to Ali but then again these girls talk so loudly in front of everyone that I’m sure half the town knew before Ezra did.

Detective Dickhead warns Em’s mom that people tend to snap if they can’t get over watching someone die in front of them. Aria meets with Spencer and tells her that she knows she was set up by A to tell Ezra what happened. Spencer starts to defend A and Aria tells her that A is trying to hurt them not teach them a lesson and then storms out before telling her that she’s okay despite what happened. It’s nice to see that Toby didn’t let a little thing like a break up stop him from messing with the girls. Cece and Em meet up to discuss what happened with Ali and the guy she was scared of and the back story of the picture and notebook. CeCe reveals that Ali met up with her in Cape May crying because she was…PREGNANT and that the guy would kill her if he found out. MIND BLOWN. Wait why wasn’t this caught in the autopsy or was it on that stolen page? Cece asks her if she has ever been late before and how could she be…she was what 14? Isn’t that when girls GET their period? It doesn’t start out on a normal cycle. WTF writers. Cece couldn’t confirm if she really was and says it was an intense couple of weeks. 

Hanna is hanging around a gay bar trying to spy on Paige who is macking on some girl as if Emily didn’t exist. What kind of gay bar only has a bunch of lipstick lesbos in it because I’ve never seen that happen in real life. She goes around spying on Paige because she has to be in everyone’s shit this week when she has to take cover by dancing with a girl who previously bought her a drink. Her girlfriend gets jealous and throws a drink on Hanna which gets her busted for a fake id. So again the girls don’t even figure out what the end result is because something happens. A didn’t even need to put their hands into it to mess it up. Ashley bails Hanna out and then questions her some more about why she would even be in a gay bar and if she has “feelings” she needs to experiment on. Even though Caleb looks very girlish it doesn’t mean that she has those kinds of feelings. Aria and Byron are home discussing where Mike could be when Em shows up at the front door to reveal the pregnancy secret. #WhereIsMikeAnyway? Well he still isn’t at home and he’s not at the Crab Shack. Em says she google’d the pregnancy and autopsy report so it wouldn’t have shown up if she was in the early stages. At least the writers decided to tie up that loose end. The least they could do is be like oh Mike’s at boot camp for ROTC or he’s in his room dancing around and pretending to be Buffalo Bill. #HelloClarice.