At Em’s house, Aria’s along to listen to Em’s rant about her test and how Ella probably finished the test for her. Aria says that her mom has been kind of wonky and protective since the divorce. Ah. So Aria’s parents are actually divorced. Well, I guess we can put a pin in that hole, too. Emily says that “A” could use this against her but Aria says that Mona’s locked up . . . But that doesn’t help, since obviously someone is messing with them. Emily says that she’s through being scared and is just pissed off now.
“Are you . . . Are you going to punch me in the boob?”
Melissa’s having some afternoon wine (‘atta girl) while Spencer asks her how she really feels about Veronica defending Garrett. Melissa says she doesn’t feel anything. Spencer thinks she’s lying and probably convinced their mom to take the case and brings up that video from last season where she barged into Alison’s room, which — according to Spencer — proves that she was/is somehow involved with Garrett or whatever. Then the talk turns to how Spencer wanted to visit Melissa at the hospital in June but Veronica wouldn’t let her and then Spencer’s all, “I’m sorry you lost your baby.” WHAAAAAAAAAAAAA?! Melissa lost her baby?! I did NOT see that coming! Except hell yes, I totally did. From a million miles away. Melissa says that she hopes their mom gets Garrett off, because he’s the only guy who’s ever told her the truth. Um, okay.
Aria is accompanying Jenna at Jenna’s house, trying to find clues while playing the keyboard at the same time. When they take a break, Jenna asks about Emily and how she’s doing and then brings up Mona. The talk turns to Alison’s grave and Jenna’s like, No one thinks you guys dug it up, though, right? Jenna goes to get some cookies and Aria spies a note that reads: “H. Cobb. 4:15 Wed. Earplugs.”
The gals are at Spencer’s house (I think) discussing this latest clue-let. Aria tells Em that Jenna asked how she was doing and Spencer’s all, She just wants to know if you remember that night you drank like one bottle of Zima and blacked out and woke up with a g.d. shovel in your hand. Em’s still annoyed that she can’t really remember anything. Spencer says they need to find out how she got in the car and where she went. Hanna wonders why Veronica is defending Garrett and then Spencer says that she knows that Melissa put her mom up to it; Emily wonders if maybe Melissa is afraid of something Garrett could say. Hanna then adds that she’s wondered if Garrett and Melissa were a couple and Melissa’s baby daddy was Garrett instead of Ian. And all Garrett’s talk about medical records could have been about Melissa and not Jenna. Oh, dip! Aria comes back in and says that her mom called her and can’t drive her to Philly tomorrow because she has to talk to the vice-principal about something.
Hanna arrives at the loony bin to talk to Mona, who she spies holding a magazine and talking to some other patients. She’s a little more animated than last time we saw her.
“You’ll see here that Gwyneth Paltrow suggests using $25,000 hand-painted wallpaper and a f**king bathtub in the middle of your bedroom. And they call ME crazy! Am I right, folks? Am I right?! Amber, please stop trying to eat your foot and pay attention.”
Oh, damn, it’s time for an Ezria scene. Ezra blahs about getting a rejection email for his pedantic, sophomoric short story (I’m just guessing) and Aria makes him feel better with a make-out session. Aria asks him if he’s ever helped out a student by upping his/her grade a little if he knew that the student knew all the information but didn’t perform well. Then she blurts out about the whole Emily/Ella test thing. Aria says that her mom’s been through a lot and maybe she did it because she’s being kind and insane. She wonders if Ella will be fired.