Pretty Little Liars Recap: What Becomes of the Broken Hearted

Spencer was a bitch last week taking everyone down with her just because her ass got dumped by ButterFace and she still doesn’t know how to handle it. It’s really going to suck when she gets divorced in the future. Aria was hanging out with Ezra’s brother Wes, while Emily confirmed that Red Coat Girl is in charge and that Ali was likely preggo when she died. This week opens with the girls at school minus Spencer who has skipped classes that day again. Hanna reveals that she also saw the Red Coat Girl before her faux interview to the shock of the others. I bet if these dummies sat down for a good hour they could figure out who is on the A Team. Communication is key…speaking of they find Spencer yelling at Andrew who tells her that she has been kicked off the decathalon team. Em later finds her at her locker having a mental breakdown. Spence goes to put on her ridiculous shades when she finds a message threatening her not to reveal Toby scratched on the inside of the lenses. Thankfully the glasses look like some bootlegs a girl I used to know owned so I don’t think any Prada or Coach sunglasses were ruined in the process. That shit is expensive.

Aria and Hanna discuss what they can do to help Spencer out of her funk but Hanna is busy searching for Caleb’s father’s stable on her phone. I’m not even going into the Hanna reunites Caleb with his father storyline because it’s just filler bullshit. Unless Caleb’s dad is the father of Ali’s maybe baby…I don’t care. Aria gets a call from Mrs. Fitz looking for Wes and when she lies about him staying at Ezra’s apartment she hangs up on her. Cece is getting harassed by Emily for more details about Detective Douche but Cece denies even knowing him and then rushes off to do a photoshoot for her store. Spencer is at home making a disgusting smoothie when Andrew shows up and tells her that he was the swing vote that got her kicked off the team. Spence challenges him to strip quiz and that if she wins, he has to rescind his vote to allow her back on the team. Spencer trying to be sexy doesn’t work…sort of how Anne Hathaway as Catwoman didn’t work. What I am most concerned about is that during the entire game Spencer has left the refrigerator door wide open. She’s going to make the food go bad, that’s wasteful.

Em shows up with cupcakes at Spencer’s house and ruins the strip game by making Andrew run off. She then pisses Spencer off by wondering what Toby did that was so bad to them? Oh…you know running one of you over, trying to put you in jail, knocking Hanna over in the store with a mannequin and threatening to slash her face…etc…Then again you bitches blinded his sister and pinned it on him. Honestly though I can’t tell if Em is pissed or sad that Spencer walked away from her because Shay’s facial expressions are the worst. You could pass it off as having smelt something rancid or utter confusion. Wes is frantically trying to move out of Ezra’s as Mrs. Fitz had been by earlier in the day. Aria wonders why she would call her even though she knew where he was and he tells her it was a test..that she horribly failed by lying. Cece calls and invites her to photograph the store since her original photographer flaked out on her. Wes tags along and Cece leaves them in the store to get closer. Eventually Aria invites a homeless Wes to stay at her place a.k.a Daddy’s house and that he can sleep in Mike’s bed since Mike is missing. #WhereIsMikeAnyway? He’s not home or else he would rat out that a man was staying there. How do you just invite someone to stay at your parent’s house without consulting them first? I know the parents could give two shits about the kids on this show but at least pretend.