Project Runway All Stars Recap: 9 West and 40 Behind


In the workroom Anthony Ryan laments that there is only one day to create a look. I guess he’s never seen this show before… oh wait. Turns out Anthony Ryan mentions it to excuse the presence of any glue guns we might see.

It’s worked before

The designers are measuring cheap fabric and each other up and the consensus is that Uli and ARyan are the front runners. No one seems intimidated by Kane or Wendy. They will all be sorry when the challenge is a southern beauty pageant for 13 year olds! I don’t have the pleasure of knowing Ivy or Althea, but they both seem like smug bitches, so that’s good tv. Wendy is giggling and twirling her hair at Pleather since he picked her to be on his kickball team and everyone else thingks she’s a waste of patchouli and peasant skirts.

Compatibility: sometimes it’s just being the last two at the bar

When NotTimGunn comes in she has very little praise. Uli’s Soviet Russia 70’s doesn’t ring true to her, Wendy seems to be making a Halloween costume and everyone who was arguing over who gets to make a jacket can just shut up now because that is not what people wear to go clubbing. I don’t think the challenge is very easy since these are All-Stars, not fresh young designers. Some of them go back ten years now so basically they’re geezers. NotTimGunn bonds with them by performing their mating ritual, the “white man overbite” dance.

“How’s my geezer impression?”

Kane is in trouble having picked a chevron fabric that is now nightmarish to align perfectly. Apparently Georgina Chapman is a real stickler for aligning prints and stripes. One can imagine she has extremely exacting standards for clean lines and beauty.

 Indeed. One can imagine practically anything.

I don’t know what to say about Casanova. To start with, he is not Casanova. He is more than halfway to Jocelyn Wildenstein facial reconstruction so I want to call him Cat-anova, but then his accent basically makes him Papa Elsa. Maybe because NotTimGunn can’t understand anything he says besides “comfortable”, she praises him and moves along. I don’t think she saw the back though because we all know she hates a top you can’t wear a bra with!

“Uh oh”

The models come, the models go and the designers keep shitting on each other. They wrap the day by haivng a quick disco party themselves and dancing just like your parents.

 Everyone at the wedding without a plus one hit the dance floor

They get a Tyra mail from Carolyn Brown which is basically her insisting that she still works as a MODEL and was at a PHOTO SHOOT, THAT DAY with a VERY FAMOUS designer. I guess it’s useful to have someone tall to hold up the big white circle thingy. As a result they have a special e-treat in store for them in the form of a video message.

With a name like C Brown, it’s no surprise she sent them Two Models One Cup

MrsMiaWallace is an east coast girl with a  penchant for travel, libations and great cuisine. She is not known to turn down a mimosa or a martini and finds the transition between the two a good way to mark the passing of time since she can never remember to wear a watch. Her secret love for reality tv and addiction to Bravo have drawn her like a moth to the glittering snark of TVGasm,  where she finds there are others like her... hopefully also nursing Bloody Marys.

14 Comments

  1. 1
    emily
    Posted November 5, 2012 at 9:35 pm

    They have had asain models Mondo’s model was asain and i recall there being one on the first season of that boring show Models of the Runway. Speaking of Men they had a drag queen challenge in season 5.

  2. 2
    CattyFan CattyFan
    Posted November 5, 2012 at 9:41 pm

    Emilioth will alwayth be that tacky pink and washer bikini to me.

    Hate Him.

  3. 3
    TalldrinkofH2O
    Posted November 6, 2012 at 6:39 am

    I can’t believe that travesty Hivy put down the runway was in the top 3. Gag!! It looks like something some Aspergers middle-schooler would do for a home-ec sewing project.

    There was very little joy of the 70′s in any of these outfits other than the turquoise pants suit. Uli’s was just bizarre, too. If ever anything were overembellished, that dress was. And, I agree with Wendy’s comment that it was flappersque, not disco.

  4. 4
    timgunnssister timgunnssister
    Posted November 6, 2012 at 7:02 am

    What’s up with Heidibot’s dress/gown/myworst nightmare? How many times has Kors told us that side cleavage is not what women look for in a gown? I lived through the 70′s in my 20′s (stop counting!) so I can say none of these ensembles were inspired by the 70′s. Except, maybe, Jersey Chore’s pantsuit. I think I wore one of those to the local disco.

  5. 5
    itchy itchy
    Posted November 6, 2012 at 2:22 pm

    Not-Heidi clearly suffers from Kelly Osbourne Face syndrome. There’s a telethon for that, I believe.

    Mrs. Itchy watched this episode and during the runway part kept asking my these people were considered all-stars. Hard to believe how much crap this crew put out.

  6. 6
    itchy itchy
    Posted November 6, 2012 at 2:35 pm

    That ought to read “asking me why these people”.

    But I know you’re all smart enough to have guess that.

    Curse you, no-comment-edit-function!

  7. 7
    Miss Molly
    Posted November 6, 2012 at 3:37 pm

    Uli made a dress that even Sacheen Littlefeather wouldn’t wear.

  8. 8
    Enrique's Mole
    Posted November 6, 2012 at 5:29 pm

    I liked Kane’s garment. I’d wear that to a disco or a roller rink if they were still around. You could totally shoot the moon in that thing! However, these days I wouldn’t call “JLo-esque” a compliment.

  9. 9
    timgunnssister timgunnssister
    Posted November 7, 2012 at 6:58 am

    This should not be named ‘Project Runway All Stars’. It should be named ‘Project Runway The Only Designers Willing To Give It Another Try Because They Aren’t Doing So Well Stars’.

    Well, that’s too long for a name so how ’bout “Project Runway Haven’t Been Stars’?

  10. 10
    merry
    Posted November 7, 2012 at 8:14 am

    Here’s to a season cast for “personality.” I call it “Project Runway All Annoying.” Let’s give sweetheart Uli the win (she was robbed in her season anyway) and call it a day.

    I love the way Tim, Heidi, Michael, and Nina basically said F-you to the All Stars seasons. I can almost hear Tim telling the producers that they didn’t pay him enough to put up with Pleather, Hivy, and Wendy the first time so he sure as hell won’t deal with them again.

  11. 11
    juddfan juddfan
    Posted November 7, 2012 at 12:52 pm

    I actually heard both shows were taped at the same time, hence the different cast. I didn’t like anything, but I didn’t think Wendy’s was the worst. That green Hivy used was beyond f u g (spell correct keeps making that fun) . . . ew, like christmas green, or elf green. Yuk!
    Uli’s was fun and kicky, and I missed the pants suit, but remain glad that bitch Josh got no kudos, this time at least. That Andrae survived . . . hmm . . . not much longer, I suspect. (yes, I’m too lazy to look up the spelling)

    “Pleather is sad”… oh honey, not as sad as you make us. I see him as weak sauce, so we’ll see . . .

    Glad you got your power back MM!!!

  12. 12
    Jennx
    Posted November 7, 2012 at 1:44 pm

    -Can’t … talk … too much … Laughing- !

  13. 13
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted November 7, 2012 at 2:10 pm

    The official explanation is that the cast is different so that everything will be fair.
    Having seen each of these designers before and ripped into them for one thing or another, Kors, Nina, Heidi and Tim will come into this competition with pre-conceived notions that may color their judgement/treatment of the contestants. So they get people who haven’t judged or worked with the designers before, to keep everything just as fair and unbiased as the first go-round.
    Unofficially, that’s some bullshit because everyone can watch the show, and I bet money that the judges have. So I’m sure they already know going in who they are excited to see and who can gtfo.

    But yeah…I’m gonna need these judges to be a little more vicious. All I could do was roll my eyes when the judges started talking about…ohhh it looks a little junior, or I like the graphic-ness of it.
    They know that outfit looked like it escaped from the last-chance clearance bin at Strawberry and hid out in a Justin Beiber concert to avoid recapture.
    There’s no need to sugar-coat shit. Nina and Michael would have read that outfit for filth.

    I loved Uli’s dress. I thought it was kind of 70′s…people back then were obsessed with native american stuff and sparkles, right? And it was just so cute…definitely the best thing to walk up there.
    I think Chore would have had a shot at the top if his blazer was fitted a little better. Or if it were more appropriate for the challenge, because who wears a blazer pantsuit to go dancing?

    I really need Andre to get it together. I think he’s so cute and fun, but if he doesn’t get off this idiotic crossover seethrough jacket idea, I’m gonna be annoyed.

    Kane’s pants were nice, but the top looked tacky and cheap. He should have done another fabric and then embellished with stones, or done a top using both sequin fabric and another kind. That would have made it look more expensive and interesting than what he did.

  14. 14
    timgunnssister timgunnssister
    Posted November 8, 2012 at 7:52 am

    One of Kane’s major issues in his season were his fabric choices – clearly nothing has changed. And Ivy is STILL nothing more then an excellent tailor. Her designs are boring. Glad to see Uli is expanding beyond her ‘flowy resort long dress’ vibe.

    And I am thrilled that Wendy went home. Hated her in her season and still can’t stand her. And I remember and like Althea though some of her designs tend toward shaplesness – hopefully her sewing skills have improved. I was actually hoping Andy South would be back – I loved his work.

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