“You’re all doing it wrong”
Last week on Project Runway All Stars everyone designed stretch pants with expandable waists for full Thanksgiving enjoyment! Actually most of these motherless fame-whores probably spent the holiday alone in rat-infested apartments drinking medical grade alcohol. If there is a god.
The week before however, the designers had basically free reign when asked to choose from a batch of twitter pictures for inspiration. Aryan won for wiping out every other designer with his clearly superior aesthetic. Or a Bebe dress with a strappy back. Even with a totally open challenge Andre underwhelmed once again and was inevitably sent home for it.
Good for him to go home before he broke a hip or ran out of Metamucil
Carolyn Murphy enters the runway in white trousers and a black sleeveless tuxedo jacket that is open to her navel and opens wide once again below that. Following Emily Post’s timeless advice in this situation, Carolyn takes care to thoroughly oil her boobs until they glisten like a summer morning on the Macondo blowout.
“What? Heidi told me to tone it down and suggested I wear a blazer!”
All the designers say “woah” in a startled, I’m-supposed-to-react-positively way. I do hate this girl, but Saint Pancake’s reaction to NotHeidi really says it all.
“Why do I feel pity for someone so much hotter than me?”
The “reason” for this sartorial affront is that this week’s challenge centers all around androgyny. Carolyn also talks about androgyny like it’s something Mizrahi made up for this year’s Target line. All the designers earn their SAG cards by waxing rhapsodic over what androgyny means to them and how exciting this is. Also this is another Avant Garde challenge so I expect buckets of fail!
Josh and St P already look like a matching Vegas country-western act
I also expect a lot of drama because the challenge intro, sketch and Mood segments are done in about two minutes. Most of the designers seem to be working some kind of suit concept. Which is sure to mean fit issues although I would love to see someone pull off an androgynous gown. I’m just not convinced this is the right group of people to think outside the box.
Depending on the box
Georgina Chapman walks in unannounced, swathed in one of the dress shirts her husband has out-grown.
“It still smells like Old Spice and dead hookers!”
She announces there will be a twist. And thank goodness, because this challenge was looking a little straightforward. In walk a troupe of lovely male models that will be walking the runway this week. St Pancake immediately pops a boner.
This guy is just happy to be on TV. And be called massive