“You’re all doing it wrong”
Hola Gasmii!!!!
Last week on Project Runway All Stars everyone designed stretch pants with expandable waists for full Thanksgiving enjoyment! Actually most of these motherless fame-whores probably spent the holiday alone in rat-infested apartments drinking medical grade alcohol. If there is a god.
Ah, shit
The week before however, the designers had basically free reign when asked to choose from a batch of twitter pictures for inspiration. Aryan won for wiping out every other designer with his clearly superior aesthetic. Or a Bebe dress with a strappy back. Even with a totally open challenge Andre underwhelmed once again and was inevitably sent home for it.
Good for him to go home before he broke a hip or ran out of Metamucil
This week!
Carolyn Murphy enters the runway in white trousers and a black sleeveless tuxedo jacket that is open to her navel and opens wide once again below that. Following Emily Post’s timeless advice in this situation, Carolyn takes care to thoroughly oil her boobs until they glisten like a summer morning on the Macondo blowout.
“What? Heidi told me to tone it down and suggested I wear a blazer!”
All the designers say “woah” in a startled, I’m-supposed-to-react-positively way. I do hate this girl, but Saint Pancake’s reaction to NotHeidi really says it all.
“Why do I feel pity for someone so much hotter than me?”
The “reason” for this sartorial affront is that this week’s challenge centers all around androgyny. Carolyn also talks about androgyny like it’s something Mizrahi made up for this year’s Target line. All the designers earn their SAG cards by waxing rhapsodic over what androgyny means to them and how exciting this is. Also this is another Avant Garde challenge so I expect buckets of fail!
Josh and St P already look like a matching Vegas country-western act
I also expect a lot of drama because the challenge intro, sketch and Mood segments are done in about two minutes. Most of the designers seem to be working some kind of suit concept. Which is sure to mean fit issues although I would love to see someone pull off an androgynous gown. I’m just not convinced this is the right group of people to think outside the box.
Depending on the box
Georgina Chapman walks in unannounced, swathed in one of the dress shirts her husband has out-grown.
“It still smells like Old Spice and dead hookers!”
She announces there will be a twist. And thank goodness, because this challenge was looking a little straightforward. In walk a troupe of lovely male models that will be walking the runway this week. St Pancake immediately pops a boner.
This guy is just happy to be on TV. And be called massive
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21 Comments
Not to overly defend Ivy, who I detested in her first season but don’t mind this go around, but she and Casanova work together outside of the show, so when they help each other and she said he’s her friend above all, they’re referencing their relationship outside the show, so it rings a little more true with them.
He may be a ridiculous, Silly-Putty-faced caricature and she might still be a zombie who eats poor little Swatch at Mood on every visit, but their friendship’s authentic.
I just realized that Emilio’s model (the female one) was on a cycle of Top Model a while back. Not sure which cycle or even what her name is, but I knew she looked familiar.
I actually really liked Althea’s coats – not sure they met the idea of the challenge, but her tailoring is so good and it is impressive to me that she could put together two outerwear coats like that in two days. I didn’t mind Uli’s look, but it did bother me that the part of her look that the judges seemed to be most impressed by – the safety pin trim – was something she bought at Mood, not something she made. I didn’t really mind Kane’s look all that much; if he had made matching shorts for the woman and left the urine-colored shirt off of her it would have fit the challenge much better and I think he might have been in the bottom, but not sent home. However, as enjoyable as he is to watch, the man just has no taste at all, so I’m okay with him leaving.
I am so ready for Laura Kathleen to go, watching her each week is getting to be painful.
Emilio’s model is Aminat. She was on the cycle that Teyona Anderson won for some reason and Alison Harvard came in second in.
Emilio’s models looked like a gay(er) version of Smooth Criminal (Smooth Criminal is already pretty gay), but it was definitely the best thing up there, so I’m glad he won.
When Josh mentioned that he finds assless chaps hot, I burst out laughing.
Because of course he does. He is such a caricature, I love him.
But I hate when people use Miracle Worker in reference to Helen Keller, when it actually references Anne Sullivan. Bitches need to watch more tv.
Or just stop talking about things that they haven’t seen.
I genuinely like Kane, but the very fact that he was happy with those outfits proves that this show was not the right place for him. I don’t know how his models were able to get down the runway and back without bursting into laughter or tears, because those clothes were tragic.
His little Miami Vice on Easter Mornting suit was cute though.
He should have made Miami Vice suits for his models and called it a day.
So…androgyny is cutting edge? I would think it would be retro since David Bowie, Grace Jones, and Annie Lennox mastered it decades ago. Not to mention Boy George. Are the writers/producers for this show drunk or just stupid?
I don’t think I’ve seen anything “designed” this season that I would ever wear. Ever.
I am completely underwhelmed this year. This years Heidi is even worse than last years, I think. I guess it doesn’t really matter for my viewing since I FF to the end to see who gets the boot. Wait, no I didn’t even do that this time I simply deleted it after watching a couple minutes. I guess I need to take it off my DVR list and stick to the recaps.
Anyway, thanks for recapping this mess!
Let’s not forget that the master of the safety pin look is Chris March. Remember his Goth dress from his mini-collection where he competed against (and lost) to be in the Fashion Week finale?? Funny how Mood or a supplier of Mood’s took that idea and turned it into trim.
Cassanova’s gold ensemble reminded me of Star Trek circa 1969….
When Aryan wears his glasses he reminds me of the little chicken who drives Foghorn Leghorn crazy.
This challenge was so hard for Laura Kathleen because it didn’t represent her “athetic.”
wonderful recap, you had me pretty much screaming with laughter`! uli was such a one-way monkey on *her* season that i have issues with supporting her, but she is really killing it this time around & her male look made my heart stop. something about it really struck a chord with me. that safety pin top was totally up my alley, too.
i don’t remember hivy being as bad as some, what i do remember is her giving these crazy hairy eyeballs to everyone across the work room while hovered over the sewing machine. she was more gollum-like than andre, actually, and either she was badmouthing people even worse off-screen or she was WAY anti-social – or both. but she was so freakin’ talented that i wanted to like her so it’s nice to see her not be so abrasive. i do recommend reading at least a few of flipit’s recaps from that season, the photoshops alone of hivy eating the other contestants’ is worth it.
Ivy was never really that bad. The recapper took a disliking to her and that kind of led everyone to hate her as well. That’s not to say she was anywhere near as nice as she is this time, but the eventual winner of that season was far, far worse than Ivy. Besides, didn’t she already explain that she was at a really bad point in her life back then?
I actually like that she’s self-aware enough to want to come across differently this time and that she’s also not the kind of person to milk a villain role for screen time and/or advancement (Joshua, the blond girl, so many others).
Ivy was horrible and mean. She was awful to Michael and spent half the season with her head buried in Wretchen’s tiny, puckered butt.
Can anyone remember the host from the last A-S season? It was only a few month ago and I have zero recall
I don’t understand why they are kissing Anthony’s ass if he was good i would understand it. You will think they would want Emilio to win Project Runway there never had a black winner plus he has gotten better since the last time he was on this show. Lifetime is so blatant with who they want to win first it was Anya then is was Christopher who would have won if his collection did not suck and now Anthony.
The host is horrendous i think next time they should just have Issac be the host.
That’s true, Ivy was mean to Michael. But Michael was the most annoying attention-whore this show has ever seen. I’d forgotten that he was on her season–now I remember why I never minded her as much as others do. Michael was my least favorite contestant ever.
Ivy was pretty ruthless on her season, but she’s turned it around. I think she may have watched her own season and realized how she was coming off. I DO have an issue with the fact that so far, every episode, all she seems to be wearing (and using as material) is chiffon and gauzy fabrics. Does the woman not own a solid fabric in her closet? Just my own pet peeve with her. I do think it’s kind of crappy that she and Casanova are sort of working together, but hey, it’ll catch up with Casanova at some point. Ivy is super talented so it shouldn’t hurt her the way it’s going to hurt him.
I wish when Isaac said he thought Emilio’s outfits might be too heavy resting on the fedoras, that the models would have taken them off so we could see. I’m not sure anyone was truly avant garde. And there wasn’t really anyone that rocked awesome androgyny. I did like a lot of the designs, I just think they lost sight of the challenge.
@cherry-I completely agree. Uli bugged the crap out of me on her season with her constant flowing resort wear dresses. They were ALL exactly the same dress *cough Anya cough*. But she is definitely going outside that look this season. She’s doing great and if she keeps it up I’d be happy to see her win. But if I see those resort dresses, she’s auf my list.
The host last time was Angela Lindvall.
She was pretty awful.
Carolyn talks too slowly and something is weird about her speech pattern. She always talks like she’s she’s trying to explain astrophysics to retarded amoebas.
But I think she’s prettier and more entertaining than Angela ever was, and she gives better sound bites. I don’t remember a single thing Angela ever said…did she even give opinions during deliberation, or did she just sit there? I really don’t remember.
What they need to do though is get Kat Deeley up in this bitch.
Yasss.
@chaosbutterfly: many thanks for pinpointing Aminat! I was wondering why Emilio’s model looked so familiar. Aminat was always a damned good runway model.
Ivy is one of those people who makes me wonder about reality shows and their effect on people. She wasn’t so much of a bitch her season (or maybe my hatred for Wretchen just overwhelmed me), but she was irritating in that she always thought her work was the best and argued with the judges all the time. Frankly, her stuff on her last season wasn’t that great: it was all formless and neutral. I feel like the backlash from her previous appearance may really have inspired her to practice sewing and work a little on her personality. The fact that she and Casanova are off-screen friends is telling, since she didn’t have a lot of patience with him on their season. I kind of like her this time around and wanted to smack tacky Josh for trying to goad her into a fight post-judging. (He’s so much more of a bitch than she ever was.)
I find Anthony Ryan underwhelming. His stuff is fine, but it’s the same horizontal line motifs on otherwise pretty generic clothes. That dress he won with did look straight out of Bebe. I’m rooting for Uli or Emilio, who I think are by far the most talented in this bunch.
I really just don’t want AR to win . . . week to week I just “can’t stand” him more and more, the clothes, the hair, just no . . . and the praise makes me think Isaac’s got it bad for him, sadly . . . .
Emilioth seems unchanged, which is rare in an all-stars. remember from Top Chef, “This is All-Star Jen” I think he nailed this, Cotton Club was what i saw in the pin stripes.
Pancake should have gone . . . just hideous, at least Kane’s was put together, and though, not for me, was probably okay to some. Her’s was a no never . . . yuk!
I just wanted Kane to keep the smiley face and have his models flash the judges at the end of the runway…..YES, I’M TACKY and I know it!
I am glad some of you guys agree with me about the underwhelming Anthony Ryan. I thought I was crazy both this time and in his season. His stuff is GMC.
@juddfan, that’s actually a really good point.
Nobody anywhere ever would wear Pancake’s outfit, but it would be possible to wear Kane’s.
You’d have to be on uppers and downers and candy corn all at the same time to want to do it, but you could.
But then, Kane has been in the bottom a few times for the same reasons: tacky, unflattering, overwrought designs and cheap looking fabric. So I guess the judges were pretty done.
Although I would much rather have another week of Kane’s Drag Queen/Crackhead aesthetic than another week of Pancake bemoaning how hard it is to be a rich girl in a sea of peons.
alas, chaos, must be the drama and the producers keeping Pancake! Kane was simply nice, and agreed with all, didn’t have good taste at all . . .