Today’s recap will be slightly different in that 1- it’s late and 2- It isn’t chronological as I will take the time before full-blown drama to do contestant intros. As a disclaimer- I love fashion and am a self-described Clothes Horse, but I have no idea how to sew, what the rules of design are, who is who in the designer world and I have a terrible track record of liking what gets selected on this show. So if you disagree with my opinion, rest assured, you aren’t crazy, you’re just wrong.
It’s a brand new season of Project Runway! And I mean actual Project Runway, not the strange farce that aired earlier this year that should have been replaced with someone handing Mondo a sweaty wad of cash in an abandoned warehouse.
Preferably Off Camera
We open in Times Square to flurry of excitement and activity! Heidi, Nina, Kors and Tim Gunn are sights for sore eyes! We get a champagne toast and Michael Kors points out that Project Runway has been on the air longer than I Love Lucy. That may be impressive but I doubt future Real Housewives will blame their antics on this show.
“I’m the Heidi Klum of NYC!”
We learn there is to be a live runway show with 16 designers and 32 models. I am proficient in math so I take this to mean we are getting dual looks, but I have to admit confusion on what is happening? Is this the qualifying round?
When did Austin Powers grow his hair out?
Nope! It’s a flash-forward. Very edgy Lifetime. I didn’t realize Sam Mendes was taking on reality shows.
This one is guaranteed to not involve any repressed gay men
Now we are back with the standard (read: winning) format and have the designers approaching Parsons with their roller bags and unique “points of view”. Oh and I am instituting a shot rule for every mention of “POV”.
Put in early for your liver transplant
Let’s meet our gang! First up, Buffi. She is basically just a Betsey Johnson rip-off and her background is as mis-matched as her fashions. She is half-Indian, half-Australian, grew up in Dubai but has a British accent. I am exhausted just looking at her. Trying. Too. Hard.
Just a small town girl
Her portfolio is fun, girly, kooky… it’s Betsey Johnson. And I don’t mean that as a compliment, I have never been a fan of garish.
Too bad ugly cannot be copyrighted, Betsey
We are now introduced to this season’s Villain. Gunnar – or Skunk Hair. He admits he is not new to PR and was let go from the top 20 a year ago. That is nothing to be ashamed of and he says his mistake was “not knowing who he was as a designer”. That sounds like someone who took some constructive feedback and applied editing and consistency to their work- how reasonable!
“Don’t get used to it. Bitch”