Project Runway Premiere Recap: Back and Bitchier than Before!

Recaps

By MrsMiaWallace | Monday, July 23, 2012 | 3:44 pm | 23 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Project Runway, Recaps

Welcome Gasmii!

Today’s recap will be slightly different in that 1- it’s late and 2- It isn’t chronological as I will take the time before full-blown drama to do contestant intros. As a disclaimer- I love fashion and am a self-described Clothes Horse, but I have no idea how to sew, what the rules of design are, who is who in the designer world and I have a terrible track record of liking what gets selected on this show. So if you disagree with my opinion, rest assured, you aren’t crazy, you’re just wrong.

It’s a brand new season of Project Runway! And I mean actual Project Runway, not the strange farce that aired earlier this year that should have been replaced with someone handing Mondo a sweaty wad of cash in an abandoned warehouse.

Preferably Off Camera

We open in Times Square to flurry of excitement and activity! Heidi, Nina, Kors and Tim Gunn are sights for sore eyes! We get a champagne toast and Michael Kors points out that Project Runway has been on the air longer than I Love Lucy. That may be impressive but I doubt future Real Housewives will blame their antics on this show.

“I’m the Heidi Klum of NYC!”

We learn there is to be a live runway show with 16 designers and 32 models. I am proficient in math so I take this to mean we are getting dual looks, but I have to admit confusion on what is happening? Is this the qualifying round?

When did Austin Powers grow his hair out?

Nope! It’s a flash-forward. Very edgy Lifetime. I didn’t realize Sam Mendes was taking on reality shows.

This one is guaranteed to not involve any repressed gay men

Now we are back with the standard (read: winning) format and have the designers approaching Parsons with their roller bags and unique “points of view”. Oh and I am instituting a shot rule for every mention of “POV”.

Put in early for your liver transplant

Let’s meet our gang! First up, Buffi. She is basically just a Betsey Johnson rip-off and her background is as mis-matched as her fashions. She is half-Indian, half-Australian, grew up in Dubai but has a British accent. I am exhausted just looking at her. Trying. Too. Hard.

 Just a small town girl

Her portfolio is fun, girly, kooky… it’s Betsey Johnson. And I don’t mean that as a compliment, I have never been a fan of garish.

Too bad ugly cannot be copyrighted, Betsey

We are now introduced to this season’s Villain. Gunnar – or Skunk Hair. He admits he is not new to PR and was let go from the top 20 a year ago. That is nothing to be ashamed of and he says his mistake was “not knowing who he was as a designer”. That sounds like someone who took some constructive feedback and applied editing and consistency to their work- how reasonable!

“Don’t get used to it. Bitch”

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MrsMiaWallace is an east coast girl with a  penchant for travel, libations and great cuisine. She is not known to turn down a mimosa or a martini and finds the transition between the two a good way to mark the passing of time since she can never remember to wear a watch. Her secret love for reality tv and addiction to Bravo have drawn her like a moth to the glittering snark of TVGasm,  where she finds there are others like her... hopefully also nursing Bloody Marys.

23 Comments

  1. 1
    timgunnssister timgunnssister
    Posted July 23, 2012 at 6:10 pm

    How sad that the designer with THE BEST GAMER NAME EVER is nothing more than a mean girl. Shame on you, Gunnar.

    Love Christopher and I’m hoping he doesn’t get a head as big as Parsons. If he does, he and Kors won’t both fit in the studio.

    I like Buffi but then I’m a garish kinda girl in spirit. Not in fact; I wouldn’t wear her clothes but I’d dream about wearing them.

    Mist of the others are just a blur at this point but we do actually seem to have some talent here. Maybe Dimitri should hook up with Irina from season 6, if she’s still around. He seems like Russian Eeyore. Wonder if he’ll be cutting before too long?

  2. 2
    sagittariuskim sagittariuskim
    Posted July 23, 2012 at 6:24 pm

    It took me a minute to realize Gunnar and Christopher weren’t twins. And another minute to realize they weren’t even related.

    It’s too early for me figure out who I like yet. It seems there’s actually talented this year, so hopefully this season and the challenges will be interesting.

  3. 3
    mere2142
    Posted July 23, 2012 at 6:25 pm

    Great job stepping in to fill Flipit’s shoes Mia. I really enjoyed your recap!

    Are those leopard spots tattooed on the side of Buffi’s head? Every time she was on the screen I was fascinated with figuring out what was going on there.

    I am so happy to have the regular format and judges back!!

    Ugh…Gunnar.

  4. 4
    Pawesl
    Posted July 23, 2012 at 7:01 pm

    What is with half these people being from New York? Jeez PR can we get out of the city for some diversity. And even more oddly there are 2 people form Kentucky. I feel obligated to root for Gunnar (who is the youngest btw, not Chris) because he’s from my hometown but I’m really having a hard time. He’s like Josh 2.0 and I couldn’t stand him. Chris is adorable but he is total Chunklite and the resemblance is painful for me because I hate Chunk. Kooan is just a little too much for me. I’ve only ever met one authentic Japanese person (meaning born and grew up there) and she was nothing like him. I’m like kind of expecting him to literally start bouncing off the walls at any moment.

  5. 5
    sagittariuskim sagittariuskim
    Posted July 23, 2012 at 7:09 pm

    @Pawesl I’ve met quite a few Japanese people. And only a few of them have been cartoony like Kooan.

  6. 6
    cmw
    Posted July 23, 2012 at 7:20 pm

    Great recap!! Anyone else think that Gunnar aka “Skunk” is a version of Josh from last season and that Christopher is a version of Michael Costello aka “Chunk”!! LOL!!

  7. 7
    TVKimmy TVKimmy
    Posted July 23, 2012 at 9:02 pm

    @cmw Totally. Mention on the minicap that I hated, HATED, Josh, so any retread of his bitchitude is more then I can stand. And Chris is Chunk-Lite, but I think I will like him more then Costello. Too soon to tell for sure. Although his Toddlers & Tiaras comment was made of win.

    Great recap Mrs.Mia! “Afrasian” had me rolling.

  8. 8
    TVKimmy TVKimmy
    Posted July 23, 2012 at 9:03 pm

    Oh, and I refuse to believe his name is Gunnar. That’s right, I’m a PR-Birther. Show me a birth certificate!

  9. 9
    itchy itchy
    Posted July 23, 2012 at 11:51 pm

    Well, “Deatherage” does indeed appear to be a legit family name. Who’d have guessed that?

    Is it possible Afrasian is doing the Japanese version of the fey gay stereotype? Whatever. I keep picturing him in a schoolgirl’s outfit in a remake of Battle Royale.

    Why am I wildly attracted to Nina Garcia? It’s not like I have a thing for reptiles. Why? Why?

    But I’m pretty certain that Buffi idiot has a bad case of scabies. Ew.

  10. 10
    vallegirl vallegirl
    Posted July 24, 2012 at 12:35 am

    Gotta love a Highlights reference.

    Brava, Mia. I am still giggling at “Winner winner chicken dinner.”

  11. 11
    S-Natch S-Natch
    Posted July 24, 2012 at 4:31 am

    OMG, Mrs.Mia – had to stop half-way through to address the Goofus and Galant reference as I was transported back to being 6 years old and in the dentist’s office. LOVE it (and love the recap!)! Will be back after I’ve finished! :)

  12. 12
    S-Natch S-Natch
    Posted July 24, 2012 at 4:45 am

    Fantastic debut, Mrs.Mia! Too many laugh-out-louds to mention. You hit it out of the park and I can’t wait to read all of your recaps this season. XXOO

  13. 13
    NotWithoutMyTV notwithoutmytv
    Posted July 24, 2012 at 5:56 am

    Every season I watch a show or two, and I think Project Runway couldn’t possibly get gayer. And then, the next season of hyperstereotypes prance into the design room, and PR shows me that I have NO CONCEPT of how gay this show can get…

  14. 14
    TVKimmy TVKimmy
    Posted July 24, 2012 at 6:14 am

    @itchy I stand corrected. Apparently, he posted his birth certificate on Facebook. It’s a shame such an amazing name is wasted on such a tool. The sad thing is that last year, during casting, he was sweet and humble. Now, he’s such a Joshette, I don’t even care if he’s talented. Sure, it might keep him on TV longer, but he will turn off a lot people with his bitchitude.

  15. 15
    KC
    Posted July 24, 2012 at 6:58 am

    “Edward Swisherhands”. Bwahahahahaha

  16. 16
    Mozao Mozao
    Posted July 24, 2012 at 8:04 am

    Great recap, Mia! Loved the screencaps also! Thanks!!

    Nina was wearing Dolce&Gabbana and no amount of jewels could make me pass that hem, reminds me of those tacky door curtains!

  17. 17
    PopePhilly PopePhilly
    Posted July 24, 2012 at 8:17 am

    @MrsMiaWallace: Well done! Flipit is a tough act to follow, but I found it difficult to contain my laughter at work!

    @Pawesl: My first thought on Gunnar was “Josh 2.0″ – right down to the eyebrows. I don’t think I can handle that for another season. I’m worried that he’ll win. I don’t think PR has had a “redemption storyline” yet – contestsant doesn’t make it onto the show and then comes back to win.

  18. 18
    PennyDreadful
    Posted July 24, 2012 at 12:00 pm

    @MrsMiaWallace – Fantastic cap! Lots of LOL moments! Looking forward to seeing what you make of the rest of the season – you’ll certainly have plenty of material!

    I agree with everyone – Skunk seems to have deliberately modeled himself on Josh. Except that Josh was actually (intermittently) funny, and had (a modicum of) talent. And Chris totally = Chunk Lite. Please, let there be tears . . .

  19. 19
    Meaghan
    Posted July 24, 2012 at 4:35 pm

    Sonjia is an alumni of my college–we’re all so proud! Very cool; hope she goes far.

  20. 20
    juddfan
    Posted July 25, 2012 at 12:55 pm

    I’m with the rest, MM, aka Mrs. Mia, great recap, and great start! You grabbed the perfect facial
    expressions for you captions! Loved the last one of skunk! I imagine skunk is going to be the
    wig-out quitter, he seems to be focused so much on competing and being on TV, and not on
    fashion! My early have is elaini . . . love me some SCi-fi fashion!!!

  21. 21
    dilia
    Posted July 27, 2012 at 8:11 pm

    not sure why but i really liked the all black girl
    christopher was great, but i may get tired of him soon. i also love him because gunnar hates him.
    the guy with the rose shirt bothered me for some reason, but his rose shirt was good.

  22. 22
    No reality
    Posted July 29, 2012 at 10:15 pm

    My money is on Boston! Love her! I bet she’s in the top three, prolly with fatmorph. I also dig Afrasian, ( great nickname Mia). He reminds me of this guy I went to college with, who delt really good drugs…. Or at least that’s what I heard……

  23. 23
    Luke
    Posted August 22, 2012 at 4:36 am

    Skunk just wants Christopher so bad, he’s such a child. Also, they really do look alike, Christopher just happens to be better in every single way.

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