Project Runway Recap: Inglorious Exits

Recaps

By MrsMiaWallace | Monday, July 30, 2012 | 8:43 pm | 26 Comments
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Posted in: Project Runway, Recaps

Lumberjack Surprise

Welcome Gasmii! We are on to the second episode of Project Runway! Last week we had Christopher the Meek rightfully win for a kick-ass gown and Beatrice the non-sewer expelled for making sweatpants shirtdresses. Also Fat Morpheus came in second for constructing a complicated and beautiful rose-inspired blouse but then pairing it with a pant suit that gave his model a brand new eating disorder when she watched the runway.

Beauty is a beast

On to the episode! The intro seems awfully talky this year. We have each contestant putting out the traditional snippy soundbyte and Heidi, Tim and the judges talking too. If this is how they are “keeping it fresh”, fine by me. Tyra has taught us already how to ruin a show trying to be innovative.

Sparkle Snaps still better than Tookie De La Creme

This week we have a favorite among challenges – the non-traditional materials challenge and it’s candy! Something like this always means one thing- lots of whining about running out of time in the workroom and some tense footage of designers swearing they aren’t going to finish. Correct me if I’m wrong but have we ever seen someone truly NOT finish? Maybe a little glued together or a ragged hem, but to have a model walk out without clothes? Nice try editors, ten years later we are not falling for it. The designers are up and at ‘em in the Atlas apartment and discussing the previous challenge results. Fat Morpheus privately interviews that he should’ve won over Christopher. Ego alert, Aisle Blubber.

Lanti is rattled from being so close to the bottom and not starting this challenge very confidently. A lot of the designers say they didn’t want Beatrice to leave but then considering her talent…

No love lost

Heidi brings them out to earn her paycheck. She  reiterates that Christopher as the winner has immunity this go-round and as this has been the format for every show for ten years this should surprise no one.

Except people practicing exaggerated expressions for more camera time

When she says that it’s a “sweet location” everyone figures it’s a candy challenge and I swear Dmitry says “teats and sweets are not for me”. I rewound it many times. And you know what? He’s right.

Definitely more of a Chip and Nips kind of guy

We have the product placement of the day in the form of Dylan’s Candy Bar. Apparently Ralph Lauren’s daughter went on to open a candy store… I guess growing up around anorexia made her want to give back. It’s not just any sloppy old sugar mill though, it’s a high-end candy experience of course and they each can spend $500.

“That is one twizzler and six jelly beans each in a rhinestone bag, enjoy!”

The designers go bananas-adorable, grabbing candy and filling their goody bags. It is the grownup version of finding a golden ticket and I love it. Since it’s such a fancy boutique tooth decay emporium there are also shirts and umbrellas and non-candy items there that a few designers gravitate toward. Lantei looks like she is going for wallpaper, Christopher is eying some pillows and Grandma Moses starts picking out T-shirts. This is looked down on by the purists who realize the challenge is about transforming materials and creativity. We can surely expect an all-candy creation from the Afrasians of the world.

Picking out souvenirs for the grandkids

Christopher asks the clerk how much a chocolate boyfriend is. And here I felt bad about biting the faces off rabbits every year. Gasmi, I have this sneaking slinking little suspicion that Christopher is a very similar animal to Skunk but has: 1)more self-awareness 2) a better edit. He clearly also thinks he is adorable and witty. Judgement suspended until further proof.

 I feel like $500 should buy truckloads of candy

Back to the workroom Fabio is sketching by hand (J’adore) and also smashing rock candy for a Jackie O look, which sounds ambitious and cool. To counteract this we see lots of people “sketching” on their HP Tablets. Don’t worry sponsors!

We are also treated to a lot of heavy-handed juxtaposed good twin/bad twin shots of Skunk and Chris. Skunk is convinced that Chris is threatened by him and Chris is convinced that Skunk is a giant bitch.

One of you is right

Chris comes out and calls himself the nice twin which doesn’t sit well with me. I recap so I tell you who you are and you pretend to be modest about it, m’kay? We have Sonjia playing around with some cool-looking jelly sharks, the Dreads is building dirt-inspired coveralls. Even though Buffi was the most vocal in the store about not relying on fabrics, she is using a brightly striped umbrella as her skirt. Which seems actually worse than gluing candy to muslin or T-shirt material to me. She approaches this task with all the thoughtful tact we have come to expect from her and screeches while flailing a hammer to separate the metal spokes from the umbrella fabric.

Good sound-proofing makes good neighbors

All the designers just love this. Blorpheus finds Buffi tres gauche in both her designs and her workroom etiquette. Lantie has a headache from the banging and a heartache from self-doubt. The rest of the room privately snarks about her design as well. Grandma Moses channels the good old days of her youth when soda jerks wore white aprons and blacks had to drink from separate water fountains and basically envisions a candy-button bedecked apron dress. The only two who seem to truly be making a candy outfit and not using a material as a base are Tara Reid and Afrasian. They are both relying heavily on Twizzlers and licorice as ‘material’. Afrasian envisions a “sweater” dress that has a Spongebob face and Tara has an S&M licorice bodice.

Sinful and sticky

Tim comes through to make everyone panic and tells Fabio that building a 50lb dress will kill his model and Dmitry’s plan to not attach the candy until the models arrive is dumb. Afrasian is heading into starting over territory as his vision is not coming together, but once again Tim has no clue how to advise this walking cartoon. I think he probably wakes up in a cold sweat at the thought of fashion by Afrasian.

Tim advises Elena keep working but questions why she would choose all beige materials from a candy store? I question how Tim found her in the workroom.

Ninja designer is not immune to criticism

Tim’s worst review is reserved for Grandma Moses. Who looks to be decorating a white apron. I did that for my mom in first grade for Mother’s Day! I used Puff Paint though so I would’ve been disqualified. She had been fully confident that this was a winning look and she is so devastated by his description (“It’s a throwaway” ouchhh), that she can’t even finish her interview and has a sweet old lady melt-down.

Somebody get the Werther’s Original, STAT

Time is, of course, running short but everyone actually seems on track. Even Grandma Meltdown who is trying to work in some of Tim’s criticism. When the models come most of the designers don’t really have anything for them to do yet as they furiously glue. Skunk is one who is ahead of schedule and trips around the room to check all the designs and surprisingly, give them all rave reviews. Chris is stumped by this side of Skunk and feels there is another shoe somewhere that is about to feel the effects of gravity.

Look up bipolar in the dictionary. You won’t see this picture, but you will get a definition of bipolar, which he fucking is.

Blorpheus assesses himself and Sonjia has the head contenders, we don’t really see his piece yet, but her top is looking amazing. The little jelly sharks are all swimming around the neckline fantastically. Grandma Moses realizes she doesn’t actually have any better ideas than overly romanticizing a past that would not have been fun for most of the people in the room, and reverts back to Victorian Apron that Tim did not think would work.

Lantie has basically given up whatever she was trying and is also starting over. She admits she won’t be using a lot of candy. She seems completely checked out. Maybe it was the umbrella hammer session that broke her. Elena then has An Accident. She is using a glue gun and wearing hoochie shorts (according to Chris, lol) and burns her thigh and hand? Anyway she cries and whines and starts setting up the storyline for why her beige pina colada POS will lose only because her ability to design is now compromised. If I sound unsympathetic, it’s only because I am. I have a healing 3rd degree burn that I didn’t tell anyone about, went into shock, then convinced everyone we should keep driving ATVs up a mountain and go zip-lining all day. At no point did I cry. I tell you this expressly because I am not a badass, the thought of a papercut makes me slightly nauseous.

Drama queens, however, make me angry

The next day Elena says she feels as though she was hit by a bus. Which only tells me she has never been hit by a bus, and has very little imagination. They all return to the workroom to find that all the people using cotton candy now have gross shrunken hard little patties to work with. Panic time for Buffi and Afrasian! Hair and makeup and now I know why Flipit always skipped this part. Dull-town, population L’Oreal.

Although they could give this one a scrubbing…

Also I will take now to point out that doesn’t Buffi’s shirt seems the same as the one she designed last week? Which is also the same as one we saw in her intro portfolio. What a spectrum of talent!

Runway time! Dylan Lauren is the guest judge of course, although it is not clear whether she will be judging from a candy perspective or fashion. If only they had to make dresses out of trust funds.

Heidi goes ahead and loses the Runway challenge to take the pressure off.

Looks like its snake molting season again

Skunk – his look is actually pretty lovely, the “fabric” does actually move a little and the peplum skirt is on trend and well executed. He of course, feels this is something everyone is now jealous of.

Sonjia – Her dress is adorable. It is hard to show the detail in a full-length shot, but it is all working. The hat is a little cutesy though. She mentions that it was worth all the glue-gun burns. A normal reaction to a minor injury, amazing!

Tara – her look is boxy but the detailing and use of licorice really is pretty great.

Urkel- His look is kind of candy beer wench/futuristic Marie Antoinette, but definitely on the interesting side of mediocre. Also the skirt weighs 20lbs so he’s mostly just praying his model doesn’t faint like Miss America on the runway.

Grandma Moses – We have the Victorian Apron worn over the Chiquita Banana lady’s costume. She could not be more pleased of course.

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MrsMiaWallace is an east coast girl with a  penchant for travel, libations and great cuisine. She is not known to turn down a mimosa or a martini and finds the transition between the two a good way to mark the passing of time since she can never remember to wear a watch. Her secret love for reality tv and addiction to Bravo have drawn her like a moth to the glittering snark of TVGasm,  where she finds there are others like her... hopefully also nursing Bloody Marys.

26 Comments

  1. 1
    Tallulah
    Posted July 30, 2012 at 9:07 pm

    I LOVE Dylan’s Candy Bar. This was cool. Honestly I thought Sonjia should have won. I was also surprised that Dmitry wasn’t in the top 3.

  2. 2
    PopePhilly PopePhilly
    Posted July 30, 2012 at 9:26 pm

    I kept waiting for one of the judges to yell at Elena because her dress was falling apart! Why did no none of them bring that up?

    I know it may make me unpopular, but I don’t think that Blorpheus (great name, BTW) was much more than a decorator either. Yes, his dress was gorgeous. However, he glued some candy to a muslin base. That is decorating. I also don’t think that crushing up rock candy is that creative.

    I prefer Sonjia’s design mainly because 1.) she used a lot of different candy – much harder to make look tastefuly than someone who just chose two things, and 2.) she at least thought about how to make the gummy sharks look like a cool necklace or glass-bead-type embellishment and how to put all those different textures and sizes of candy together to look like something good. That’s just my opinion.

    I hate that I get so angry/worked up about this show sometimes. I guess it just goes to show how subjective fashion really is.

  3. 3
    sagittariuskim sagittariuskim
    Posted July 30, 2012 at 9:49 pm

    Who is Fabio?

    I don’t like it when a person says they’re nice. If you have to tell people that you’re nice, you’re probable not as nice as you think you are.

    I like Blorpheus’ dress I liked the stain glass looked of it, but I loved Sonjia’s dress. Her’s was just more creative to me. And it had so many different shades of blue, which is my favorite color.

  4. 4
    Dj
    Posted July 31, 2012 at 5:23 am

    Well I agree with ppl’s comments, I think Sonjia should’ve won. Blorpheus’ dress was good but I loved Sonjia’s dress, it was more creative and fun but I guess Blorpheus’ dress was more wearable as an actual dress. I think Lantie deserved to go of course Elena could’ve went too. Both of them have this is my work and I stand by no matter how crappy it is attitude and they don’t seem like very happy ppl. lol

  5. 5
    featherhead
    Posted July 31, 2012 at 5:25 am

    @sagittariuskim-Fabio is the freegan, the one who eats out of dumpsters. I don’t think I would advertise that if I was him. He seems pretty proud of it.

  6. 6
    itchy itchy
    Posted July 31, 2012 at 6:18 am

    Grandma very clearly comes from time of the early 70s minimalists. (Which I happen to like a lot.) Except she really really fucked up on this challenge. She didn’t even bother to sew?

    As much as I agreed that Lantie needed to go, I really hoped they get rid of Buffi. Just looking at her makes me break out in a rash. As does having to type that stupid name.

    But I think they gave the win to Blowfisheus because they were afraid he’d puff up into a giant blue ball. And I agree, all he did was make a nice little painting with candy.

  7. 7
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted July 31, 2012 at 6:45 am

    This was a lousy choice for the unusual material challenge. Very few candies lend themselves to actual clothing construction, so nearly all of the designers became decorators. And the one who made the effort and wove material out of candy strips got dinged for it.

    But the right person won and the right person got the boot…so that’s something, at least.

  8. 8
    msjacqmills
    Posted July 31, 2012 at 7:17 am

    Sonjia was robbed!

  9. 9
    timgunnssister timgunnssister
    Posted July 31, 2012 at 8:53 am

    I, too, preferred Sonjias creation. And Lantie should have gone home last week. And I loved the front of Kooans dress – looked like some fabulous beaded creation. The back? Meh. And I find Buffis work interesting but unfortunately, they are both too out there for PR and I predict will not make it too much farther.

    Dmitrys was beautiful and an interesting use of the candy (did he drill holes to make them beads or did they have holes? Inquiring minds want to know) but it was a bit ‘ballroom’ looking. And I love how shocked he always looks when he isn’t in the top 3.

    Gunnar needs to shut up. And go home. Or just go home. Nathans dress was cute. Heavy, but cute. And from the previews, I suspect Elena runs away next episode. She doesn’t seem to be holding up too well and also seems too one-note. I mean, how many monochromatic football jerseys can one girl make?
    Christophers was pretty but that’s about all.

    And who the hell is dressing Heidi these days? Did it used to be Seal? Is that why she looks so awful? Maybe she should reconsider the divorce. First we have the green dress so tight we can see every part of her body (including her belly button) in sharp detail on the Times Square stage then she’s dressed like a lumberjack in womens clothing (sings ‘and that’s okay’) Then she wears snakeskin flannel pajamas.Has Kors been hogging all the mirrors in the judges dressing area or did Nina break them? She made my eyes hurt.

  10. 10
    Bioscotto
    Posted July 31, 2012 at 8:54 am

    That was as much candy as $1000 could buy, because Dylan gave them half off! Shew!

    I couldn’t believe Grandma Moses and Afrasian weren’t in the bottom…those were ATROCIOUS!

  11. 11
    vallegirl vallegirl
    Posted July 31, 2012 at 9:35 am

    It was $500 because they had $250 but got the 50% discount. Still, $500 for gummi sharks and jelly beans should be enough.

    I kept waiting for one of the judges to yell at Elena because her dress was falling apart! Why did no none of them bring that up?

    Because Skunk’s was falling apart on stage, too. Not as badly as Elena’s but if it was something to ding her on, he should have been dinged, too. But then I though Dmitry’s dress should have been in the top group over Skunk’s, anyway.

    And I find Blorpheus to be kind of fascinating in that I think he’s actually a replicant.

  12. 12
    vallegirl vallegirl
    Posted July 31, 2012 at 9:36 am

    Oh yeah, and that lovely snakeskin sweats suit that Heidi wore? It’s Elizabeth & James…aka the Olsen twins’ line. It’s good to be a vanity designer.

  13. 13
    bubblesballentine
    Posted July 31, 2012 at 10:39 am

    Imgunner Whineferanage seriously has to have the most annoying voice ever recorded.

  14. 14
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted July 31, 2012 at 10:49 am

    Heidi’s snakeskin pajamas were an abomination unto my eyes and every person involved in the filming of Project Runway ain’t shit for letting her go on tv like that. Seal didn’t get her money in the divorce, but he sure enough snatched her sense of style. Poor thing.

    I liked Ven’s piece the best, so I’m definitely happy that he won. Sonjia’s was nice and I think her’s was technically more difficult, but it just was not as pretty as Ven’s. I would wear Ven’s and sure would not wear Sonjia’s. Especially not with that platter on the model’s head.

    Gunnar is horrible.
    I think Christopher might be secretly annoying though…I watching this little clip about him discussing his win and I had to shut it off halfway through. It was only two minutes long, and I couldn’t even manage that.
    It’ll be interesting to see how their relationship goes…if they end up getting married, I want to go.

    Elena is annoying as fuck. I know hot glue gun glue is hot, but all that moaning and rolling around was unnecessary. And her outfit was stupid. If she wanted to make a suit from licorice, would it not make sense to grab some of the original licorice color for some contrast? And she should have made more provision to get a nice fit on it. I’m sure if the damn thing fit instead of just hanging off the model like a giant licorice suit of armor, the judges would have given her a pass on that boring ass color. I hope she is the one who stomps off in a huff. I know it’s not gonna be Gunnar. No way he would give up his chance to attention-whore in front of the whole world.

    And Grandma’s outfit was terrible. I would actually have put her in the bottom three instead of Buffi because not only was her outfit hideous, but it was lazy to boot. All she did was take giant sheets of button candy and some umbrella fabric and stuck the two together. And it was hideous and made her model look fat and shapeless at the same time. At least Buffi tried.

  15. 15
    cherryred
    Posted July 31, 2012 at 12:09 pm

    If Elena is stuck as one of the ones having to design for Kenley next week – then her running screaming into the night is justified.

  16. 16
    Jason
    Posted July 31, 2012 at 12:34 pm

    I thought Buffi’s outfit was cool, and it was very SJP. But in a cool way. Lantie was just fodder. They always throw in fodder to get eliminated in the first few rounds. Good riddance.

  17. 17
    michkabibbles
    Posted July 31, 2012 at 12:37 pm

    @cherryred: based on some pictures i saw, elena and buffi get laura bennet-which could not be a bigger mismatch. gunnar and kooan get irina (poor frokemon). it looks like ven gets kenley, and chris and audrey get anya. that’s all i can tell from the previews.

    link!: http://whiteboard.tomandlorenzo.com/2012/07/project-runway-season-10-episode-3-preview.html

  18. 18
    michkabibbles
    Posted July 31, 2012 at 12:39 pm

    edited to add: i’m guessing it’s elena that gets hysterical and leaves, based soley on her reaction to hot glue. it’s unpleasant, but it doesn’t burn. i thought at first maybe she’d actually dropped the gun on her skin, and the metal tip burned her. the glue itself dries and cools down almost immediately.

  19. 19
    sagittariuskim sagittariuskim
    Posted July 31, 2012 at 1:18 pm

    What’s makes Elena reaction to the glue burn even more ridiculous, is the fact that elementary kids don’t even cry from glue burns. If Elena is the one leaving, I’m guessing it’s because she’s force to use color.

  20. 20
    itchy itchy
    Posted July 31, 2012 at 1:50 pm

    Kenley’s auditioning for Fox’s I Love Lucy remake:
    http://wpc.4d27.edgecastcdn.net/004D27/Whiteboard/PRS10E3Preview/PRS10E3+Preview+4.jpg

    Just needs a change of haircolor.

  21. 21
    juddfan
    Posted July 31, 2012 at 4:37 pm

    Heidi goes ahead and loses the Runway challenge to take the pressure off.

    You nailed that Mrs. Mia!!! Couldn’t agree more with you and the comments-it’s very obvious, she should just pick from her own clothes and see how many of us remember.

    Buffi doesn’t bore me, so I don’t mind her, same with Kooan. I agree, Elena has tude in droves, but me likey Sci-fi and hope she stays. Personally, for once, I was glad they weren’t dinging for the candy catastrophes, I hope they gave extra credit to the ones that worked best. I concur, she should have used black licorice with some kind of red belt or accents for less boredom.

    I also agree Sojia should have one. I don’t know how strong she is overall, and she may not be in the top group every week. Wasting it on Mr. Full of Himself and Hot Air was a waste. (I hate to confess, he is kind of attractive to me) His dress was nice, but he was not the only one to use crushed shit. I find flower motif’s dull as heck! Her look was way more fun and accomplished, and dinging her on styling was ridonk! Sonjia seems super sweet and cute, I really like her and was so glad to see her rise this week!

    Raul had that super cool top on his look, it looked molded. I saw it in the work room and thought it embodied the challenge. I also liked Dimitri’s, and was surprised it didn’t get more kudos.

    Lantie, see ya, yawn. Grandma’s was weak, but I’d like to see her stick around a while.

    Overall, I was not bored, and a lot of the looks were fun. Good challenge for me. Even Gunner had a good look, tho it was black and beige . . . sigh . . . it really held up pretty well.

    I bet that store ain’t cheap either.

    I also think it’s hard to judge on fit with candy for clothes. Not many entries were form fitting.

  22. 22
    isthathissister
    Posted August 1, 2012 at 12:22 am

    I agree that this was a really poor choice of unconventional materials, because the most really anyone could do was glue stuff to muslin…

    I was glad Ven won, but I would’ve been ok with Sonjia too. But lord does Ven EVER smile? His expression never changed, even when he won! I kept watching to see if he would crack a grin, a chuckle, something, but nothing… I can’t help but think how wrinkle-free his face will remain if he keeps this up. Kors will be so jealous.

  23. 23
    lindaw205
    Posted August 1, 2012 at 6:25 am

    I liked Sonjia’s dress too but I think she got dinged for that hat. I liked Ven too and was okay with his win. Great recap, btw!

  24. 24
    LAC LAC
    Posted August 1, 2012 at 11:12 am

    Ms. Mia – love you!! I was giggling through this entire recap, especially with the nicknames.

    I am glad to see Lantie go – I just picture her as the sort of pill girlfriend you get stuck going out with and have to listen to her complain, make faces and generally make the evening so bad that a drive by would be welcomed.

    I really liked Sonija’s creation, but Ven’s was cool too. Now if a smile and a “let the first challenge go already” can be implanted in him, he might grow on me.

    Elena knows that there is no actual “drama queen” award on the show, right? This is “project runway”, not Ibsen’s “A Doll’s House” . I hope that we are not going to treated to another version of “Road Warrior” wear with her. Although it would funny if Kenley had to wear one (Kenley is what I picture would happen if Satan and Betty Boop hooked up one night.)

    I loved watching Tim walk through the workspace – his look of dismay is a little more pronounced this season.

  25. 25
    Elliebug
    Posted August 1, 2012 at 9:30 pm

    Someone did send an unfinished garment down the runway before! It was back in Season 4, during the menswear challenge where they had to make a 3 piece suit. Carmen sent her model down the runway in pants and a jacket but no shirt, because she ran out of time. Instead, she wrapped the fabric she was going to use as the shirt, around his neck and tucked it into his pants, to give the judges the illusion of a shirt. Trust me, the only reason I know this is because that was my favorite season. Ironically enough there was a candy challenge that season as well.
    As for the umbrella dress, if she glued the jelly beans or candy on top of the stripes she could have had a better chance. I was just thankful there wasn’t any awkward stripe going down the front of her dresses like last week.

  26. 26
    Andyourlittledogtoo
    Posted August 2, 2012 at 10:30 am

    Lantie is what happens when you raise kids with unconditional praise for every piece of crap they do or say, regardless of their age or attitude. She was completely incapable of self-awareness or critical thinking in regard to her own work. I am so relieved we won’t have to endure her bitchface all season. If she had been talented… well, crisis averted. Can’t wait for tonight!

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