Saint Pancake has apparently made a fast impression and she surmises she isn’t being chosen because they all just assume she has it all and doesn’t need any more help winning in life. She also drops some comment about it being impossible to fake it that she comes from the same place as these people. Insufferable quotient exceeded!
Everyone has apparently picked up on this and Kane is our tour guide into how much the room hates her. I may not want to feel a close bond with someone like Papa Elsa either, but who is this bitch? Anderson Cooper is a goddamn Vanderbilt and he’s currently ducking explosions in Gaza.
“I suffered a direct hit to the face”
Andre is in the last picked group too, but he just opts for a picture of a depressed girl instead of declarinig himself better than everyone. He is troubled that no one seems to be bonding with him, but I think he might just be too old for this crowd.
The pictures vary from geometric shapes to clouds and water and is basically just every album on usual instagram, but the best one is chosen by DeadMauth - an adorable little girl striking a pose.
“This is a real PR fan”
The designers sketch and head to Mood. Andre sounds as though he is coming up with something unique and well thought-out, but his demeanor spells defeatism. He can’t even be bothered to dress up like an outlandish gay stereotype, which is a PR requisite.
“One pair of Where’s Waldo glasses do not an All Star make”
On the other hand, Big Gay Al has everyone covered.
“It’s right here in my contract, this was the only way they’d let me come back”
Back in the workroom St Pancake is creating her own fabric to look like water with some kind of tie dying, ombre effect. She spends her time dipping silk into buckets in the kitchen and whining to Big Gay Joshua that no one wants to hear about her priveleged upbringing. I’m just thankful the editors have spared us those conversations thus far.
Everyone else is getting down to business and based on how wide open this challenge was I’m actually kind of excited to see all these diverse artists just do whatever they feel like.
“I’m not excited for hairy man cleavage”
Andre is starting to come to life but admits he feels like an outsider. He combats this by hiding under his worktable and playing up his resemblance in several designers’ minds to the great Hobbit hero, Gollum. Good luck getting laid after this show Andre!
Joanna joins them with yet another USA Today babe and although I applaud showcasing women in corporate power positions, seeing them at the helm of a giant festering picture book is not doing anything for our professional credibility.
“This is the Senior VP in charge of Associated Press Copy + Paste”