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Monday, August 20, 2012
6:00 am
27 Comments
I need to pause here and point out that I am not a fabric expert but if the skirt on Blorpheus’ look is made from silk chiffon then the ladies were dead on to make fun of this choice. My attention is drawn to this issue at every step the model takes.
How to dress your vulva for the office
Team Sux –
Tara Reid- I love this dress. I am not sure how the rumpled-ness would hold up after a day in the office, but I am a sucker for this color and for zipper detailing.
Elena/Dreads #1 – this look is very work-ready. It is also mind-numbingly dull. I hate to say it, but this thing would be more interesting with shoulder pads!
Squiggy and Sonjia #1 – Sonjia loves her electric blue pencil skirt and it is nice, but she disappoints me when she says it’s her favorite piece to date because Gummy Sharks! I don’t hate the top but even as Squiggy says he loves the way the ruffles move, I realize I am agreeing with the fish fin comment from Skunk. Put this blouse with Blorpheus’ Vulva Skirt and you might actually have a shot at your boss having his attention drawn somewhere other than your genitals!
Elena/Dreads #2 – This look is strong and impractical. Dreads speaks for the first time this episode to say something forgettable about her pants. Elena hates her blouse but it is the only interesting thing happening.
Dmitry- I love this dress! I would totally wear this to the office except I would need a cardigan for the back cut-outs. They are a bit too far, my darling, dancing, dead-panning, Dmitry!
Sonjia/Squiggy – the look pleases me overall but when I start to look closely, the blouse seems odd and although the skirt draping is lovely I’m not convinced it is work-friendly.
Heidi reveals that the teams contained a variety with both having lovable and hate-worthy looks. This resulted in the teams having identical scores. So, this is now an individual challenge! Anyone can win and anyone can go!
Team 5 is first up to be reviewed. Blorpheus explains they wanted a black and white palette with a touch of color. Heidi and Nina both like the cohesiveness and consistency. Chris’ skirt gets props and Kors says his 60 year old biddy friends would love to wear Unibrow’s dress. NotTim compliments the ease of these clothes to wear. Nina hates Urkel’s white flowy pants and calls the whole outfit too matronly. Heidi jumps to defend that old people also work in offices and Urkel wisely agrees that was what he was trying to portray. That nerd is smart!
27 Comments
What did Squiggy say to Ven at the end? I didn’t get that he was dissing him, but then I don’t speak Squiggy.
Oh yes, no way in hell could I wear Dmitry’s dress to the office. Sorry, fat bitch Heidi.
I loved Dmitrys dress, but it’s NOT office ready. I also loved TaraReidsSister’s dress but also agree that after about an hour I’d be takin’ a pair of scissors to that neckline.
Gunnar’s wasn’t all that bad and yes, the model should have worn a bra. However, if she was wearing one and was still all squirmy, either she needs a new bra or the top was really that badly cut. Can’t tell for sure.
Ven’s skirt looked like an anatomy lesson. You’d think someone who uses that much silk chiffon could make it fit right.
Squiggy. UGH.
Elena. Bitch, please shut up. Perhaps she should share a bit of her too much personality with Alicia, who appears to have none at all. I absolutely could not work around, much less with, someone as volatile as Elena. I have this image of her on the floor with ( 11 – no 10?) pairs of scissors protruding from her back and everyone feigning innocence. She could even push brother Tim too far.
Dmitry – I love him more and more each day. Him and his little one way monkey.
Super hilarious recap! I could read an entire book of your Elena one-liners and snarks! They make my week:)
What is with all the funky, exposed zippers? I do not like them at all, and can you imagine sitting on that thing at the office all day? Talk about uncomfortable. There was not a single outfit that came down the runway that would work in any office outside of New York fashion and even then most of them would be iffy. Everything was drapy, bunchy fabric, one shouldered, sleeveless, short, tight, or big shouldered. Most (real) offices run to the consertative and most (real) people dress more for comfort than style – which includes sleeves and jackets because most office buildings are cold.
I get that what comes down the runway is often remodeled for sale; that runway is for impact, but honestly, the challenge was to design office wear – not runway looks. I really wish the producers would allow more time for challenges. In previous seasons there were a lot of two-day challenges which allowed for better made garments. I don’t mind a day challenge or two along the way, but the end product would be better with a bit more time allowed.
One way monkey – Dmitry has officially moved to the top of the class!
Buh bye Squiggy
Thank you for pointing out how terrible Blorpheus skirt was! When I saw that come down the runway, my first thought was, “How the hell do you get camel toe from a skirt?”
I also agree 100% that Dmitry’s (ha! One way monkey) dress was not office appropriate at all – at least not in most professions.
I think Blorpheus, Leanne, and Rami should get together and create a line. It would be draped, pleated, and petaled. They can invite in Kenley for their special retro-50s-inspired line.
I don’t think Skunk’s look was too terrible. With a few tweaks, it could work in an office (at least in the summer time). I honestly thought that Unibrow’s dress was boring as hell. I have a dress very similar to that hanging in my closet. You can find that in a million stores.
Great job as always, MrsMia! I have to work very hard at work to keep from laughing in my office.
Who the hell is Nathan/Urkel? Has he gotten any airtime in the previous episodes? I do not remember him in the least. At one point I actually thought they brought someone in who didn’t make the original cut to replace the defectors. Wow i need to pay more attention.
I totally love Dmitry for his dry Soviet humor and directness. He cracks me up.
It’s been a biscuit kind of week.
Dmitry’s dress could be work appropriate if it weren’t for the cutouts. Honestly, his dress would have been perfect for the previous week’s challenge (day look to night look). It would just need a jacket for the day; take off the jacket, and you instantly have your night look.
Did anyone else note that Gunnar holds his pen/pencil like an impaired two year-old?
And it’s funny to me that being on the winning team did note mean you were safe. Rules on this show are very…fluid.
Also, One Way Monkey will become a new household phrase.
Loving the Dimitry – I like his clothes and his very dry wit. One way monkey indeed! LOL!!
Elena, jaysus – pit bull with scissors. She must have come out of the womb angry. I would love to see her paired with Blorpheous for a challenge. Whatever comes down the aisle will be padded and pleated and covered in blood. Nina will like it.
Keep up the good work, MisMia!!
Elena – both her attitude and her styling – reminds me of that old commercial with the Soviet fashion show. The ones where the women wear these grey/black/brown clothes that are shapeless and identical but are identified by type by their accessories such as holding a beach ball? ‘In Soviet Russia skirt wear you!’ That’s Elena.
I keep wanting to call Dmitri my little ‘one way monkey’ but of course that would not be him, just his phrase to describe someone else’s one-notedness. It’s a quandary. I shall have to resist. But I now have a shiny new insult in my lexicon. Thanks Dmitri!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CaMUfxVJVQ
andyourlittledogtoo – you made me do it!
SVIMVEAR!!!
LOL Thanks for finding that. I couldn’t remember who the sponsor was. Blue! The dresses were blue! How chic! Eveningwear! (flashlight) Swimwear! (beach ball).
Yep, that’s our Elena to a tee.
Yes, I did see Gunnar hold his pencil and thought what else does he hold so oddly??
The crotch shot of Blorp’ skirt was great. I noticed it but did not get the full deals of the camel toe skirt. Thanks for the scene shot.
Someone please tell SQuiggly that big busted women do not like ruffles because it draws too much attention.
Is it me or are they cutting the time design time down too much? I remember early seasons they had a day and 1/2. Now the show is 1 1/2 hours long but they only get one day to make the dress without flaws. They have less than a day for a dress and they the judges bitch about the poor quality.
RE: Why did Gunnar’s dress deserve to be in the bottom two?
I would like to present Exhibit A. Unless the model has a large, squared-off, lumpy birthmark dead center in her back, I believe she is wearing a bra. The slightly racer-back design, combined with low-cut armholes, would make it impossible for her to wear a truly supportive bra. Finally, wasn’t this dress also made of chiffon? If so, the fabric itself would emphasize every little bounce and twitch. And on top of all this evidence, Gunnar is an annoying little twit and fully deserves the PR death sentence. :p
http://www.mylifetime.com/shows/project-runway/season-10/rate-the-runway/episode-5#rate
Your honors, I rest my case
Pardon the glitch. The photo in question is #9, the back view.
littlealbert, I couldn’t see a bra, but the skirt is bad too. Looks like the model has a peen!
Now, what about FreeganUni? The judges liked his turban, so he decided to give one to his model? Next week he’ll hang his model with those awful ropes?
Almost lost in all the hilarity about the one-way monkey (and I’m not denying it was hilarious – Dmitry is, indeed, a glorious bastard for that one) was MrsMia’s offhand remark about Blorph burbling Vogon poetry!
Thank you for the FABULOUS recap!
@Enrique’s Mole – It was really brief but when Squiggy came into the room he said something like “some of you I liked and some of you…” and Blorpheus threw his hands up and laughed and it was kind of a good-natured back and forth about not being each other’s biggest fans. Quickly eclipsed by the Elena hate outburst.
@LAC and yourlittledogtoo – LOL! That is precisely what Elena makes me channel.
@Lestermaddox – I think exposed zippers were supposed to be one of the unifying themes for that team. I used to hate them but its such a trend I’m slowly coming around. I am from the south where hiding zippers and buttons and wearing pantyhose was touted as stylish and classy. Now I’m a big city girl and have been guilty of everything I was raised to believe was tacky!
@niknakflipflop – thank you! That would be one of those insane niche books you would find in a trendy random boutique in Brooklyn and wonder how the hell it ever went to press. And then you would have to buy it. I nominate Flipit as the author and I will guest contribute
.
Thanks for the great recap! I don’t know why Lifetime doesn’t pay you guys to write these. They cast the show with such thoroughly unlikeable people that reading snarky recaps improves it 1000%.
And this year on Project Runaway Runway, the people they cast couldn’t even hack it — much less make the viewers root for them.
I loved this recap! Thank you Mrs Mia Wallace. I feel we are kindred spirits. I too once mistook a line of heroin as cocaine. But that was another life.
This show drives me crazy! I design and make clothes for normal women (size 8 to 28 and beyond). On the off chance I design something for a tiny person they are teenagers and want an original dress for a school dance. The smaller sizes are easier but I’m so used to big girls and I lose confidence and wonder how a 25 inch waist line is ever going to fit. When it does I fantasize about creative ways to slip sugar on their carrots to make the occupant fat.
When I watch this show I wonder how well I would do with the amount of time they are given and the answer is horribly. It takes me 4 hours from drafting the pattern to the finished product to make a simple skirt. SIMPLE skirt. But to my defense I am a perfectionist and I like to make sure the thing fits.
The judges sometimes ignore the poor execution and sometimes don’t. It’s never consistent. They also ignore the parameters of the challenge quite a bit as in this last challenge. I can see Tara’s dress in an office on Dynasty, Moonlighting, Heart to Heart or any other 80′s show but not now. It was a great cocktail dress and would probably retail well above $500. Who wears such an expensive dress to work? Not me. I would save it for NYE or some charity event.
I agree that Dimitry’s dress was inappropriate for the office but if he covered up the zipper, added a jacket and filled in the cut-outs it might work. As for who I think should have won. Maybe Chris because he made a suit. The skirt was too fuzzy though.
All the garments sucked for work.
As for Elena, as much as I didn’t like Squiggy and his incessant whining, I loved that he called her out. She is such and A$$hole. It makes me believe she spent time in a brothel and had to fight her way out. But I doubt it. Maybe she waited in one too many breadlines—wait that was Russia, right? I see her designs as well as Tara’s designs as what to wear for Armageddon. Elena designs for the army and Tara designs for the pheasants.
I’m a new commenter and hope to comment more especially on next week’s challenge.
My husband’s mother (she had long passed on before I met him) had a dress factory in NYC (with her husband) and was a wedding dress/formal wear designer. She also did custom fabrications for some of the celebrities of the day.
My husband claims that she could eyeball a person, never take measurements and make a complete suit for the person in about 2 hours, and it would fit perfectly.
To be more detailed, she was a “sloper” – someone who could “slope” the sample sizes up and down as needed for the various sizes to be produced, so she obviously had some mad skills when it came to design and construction.
I think that PR is looking for someone like her. If you look at perhaps the most successful of the PR winners, Christian Siriano, he sewed extremely fast and had good skills. That’s probably really what it takes to be successful in the business of the BIG business of fashion design vs. smaller scale operations.
Just got back from Vaca, but I was delighted I got to watch this epi on the plane, Jet Blue, I love you!!!
I’m actually glad Elena is here . . . I’m afraid there wouldn’t be nearly as much to comment on if she was gone. I still like her Mad Max style too, and I pretty much agreed with her opinions on the photo shoot. she’s got some skills. I’d see her, Dimitri, Tara, Sonji and Blorph in the top group. Maybe Christopher could knock one out . . . too many shoulders, or pleats could ruin it for one of them. I do wish Elena could tone it down, and be more professional in her personal manner, but at least she, for the most part, knows what she’s talking about. I’m sure a little sexy times would go a long way in calming her, I tend to get a bit “pent up” when it’s been a long, long, long time . . . sigh . . .
Anyway, great cap! I didn’t think Skunks was that bad. I thought that the black dress with the white shoulder was just okay, and not worth singling out. I hated the floral fabric. Once again, Blorph and the flowers . . . Dimitri nailed that one!!! It was refreshing to hear him say what I thought about it being old!
And, are they really making so little on this show they can’t dress Heidi anymore, and they can’t give them more than one day for anything! I’d really rather see them do their best and tear it up, rather than slap dash work, esp since anyone can go for any reason any week. Would even the odds, I think!