Tara – Her model comes down the runway like a cigarette girl working the Indiannapolis 500. Also it becomes obvious her random gluing has resulted in a big black “1” on the front of the outfit. It is kind of cute otherwise, but the skirt is too short, too stiff and has absolutely no movement. Hard to imagine a high kick in this, unless it’s to accommodate an OBGYN exam.
Blorpheus – His deseign is super dull. It looks a lot like what an ice skater would practice in, but not something fancy enough for an actual performance. The skirt does flare nicely and it is of course tasteful and well-fitting, but he’s missed the point of the challenge or willfully chosen to ignore it. Much like his doctor’s cholesterol warnings.
Elena – Call me crazy, but I don’t hate her design. It is nutty and over-sparkled, but I think that was what this challenge needed. The fit is bad or maybe her model has terrible posture because the chest piece looks like it was designed for someone with a much fuller chest. Love the skirt flare too.
Christopher – his little miss Rory Gilmore tiptoes out and she once again does great justice to this exquisite design. Who doesn’t love silver and glitter and the NYC skyline? Child abusers and nose pickers probably.
The skirt is still stiff, but the attention to detail on that tiny Empire State Building makes me want to pour champagne all over Alicia Keys in 1Oak.
Sonjia – Tevye once asked, “A bird may love a fish, but where would they build a home together?”. Sonjia has discovered the answer is “on a Rockette”.
Unibrow – Unibrow has answered the lesser known love riddle, “Who would that abomination fish/bird couple consider too tacky to invite over for dinner?”. It’s sort of Roman soldier/tinfoil chic and bad but somehow not memorable.
Turns out, Unibrow is the only one to slink off to the “not worth noting” waiting room. Everyone else is either smugly waiting to be complimented or shitting bricks on the runway now. And not all of these people are right about which they should be doing.
Sonjia is up first and gets dinged for using feathers which are known to molt right off a dress under normal conditions, but would leave the Rockette’s naked by the second number. She is subdued as her heart was never in this challenge and offers little defense. I think Heidi is just mad because her attempt to domesticate an apparently catankerous Seal failed and inter-species love infuriates her.
“Well it doesn’t say that exactly, but somewhere there is something about a chicken”