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And now a segment about what a runt HellEna is. She’s cackling about nothing while Dimitri says to kill the witch he’ll need a silver bullet and a wooden stick. LOL! Misstopher says they need a horse tranquilizer. Love it. Time for the homely twigs to be fitted!
K hon, just stand like this in the field, and when the big black birds come, move a little. Got it?
Gunnar starts whining that his dresses are amazing while Sanji’s top looks like Zelda…
…and Misstopher’s trench is an unfinished wreck. Ugh. SHUT UP. All I wanna hear from you is “I’m not on a Greyhound right now so yay me!” Instead, he’s waving his skinny little finger around, telling HellEna how Misstopher’s terrible work better not sabotage his greatness. Uh-huh. How many times have you been on the bottom? On the show, not in life. I need a countable number.
Turds of a feather.
HellEna decides to spread some of the puntiness around and starts ragging on WiggaLez’ not tailored enough pants. Alicia calmly ignores her, which leads to HellEna calling her a bitch and telling us that she’ll just wait to throw her to the wolves during judging. Hair and makeup time! YAAAAYY!!!! I used to take this as a smoke break, but now I am a non smoker with fifty extra pounds on me, so I’m gonna take this as a mini binge break!! Homely girls making money as models: Discuss.
Nothing will show how miraculous your makeup line is like turning this face into a model’s.
It’s almost time for the runway, which means it’s time for everyone to run around worried that they won’t finish. That’s not happening tonight, which means the cameras get to spend more time on HellEna’s buntiness. She hates everything her team is doing. She hates WiggaLez’ pants, so she says that her coat should stay zipped until the last minute to hide Lez’ bad work. LOL. Wigga just furrows her brow calmly and says no. This is why lesbians are better people than gay men. I would have just stuck the bitch with a pin.
Fat Bitch Heidi comes out on the runway looking like a zebra that swallowed a hippo.
Freegan looks like he just had dinner out of a KFC dumpster and lucked into a new outfit along with the meal.
Let’s say hi to the judges! Hi Kors!!