Project Runway Recap: The Legend of Zelda

52 Comments

1. 1
   kthxbai
   Posted September 8, 2012 at 4:24 am

   The president of Lord and Taylor couldn’t stop staring at slutty Tim Gunn’s giant wiener through his thin suit pants…

   OMG @Flipit this sounds like the start of a book! You should write the rest of it and send it off to a place!

2. 2
   featherhead
   Posted September 8, 2012 at 4:30 am

   Yeah! Flipit!!! So good to have you back recapping PR. I’m proud of you for quitting smoking (I wish I could, but not ready yet). I thought all the outfits were underwelming this episode. Did you know that Gunner made two dresses? That’s right, not one but two! He only mentioned it 50 times this episode. I liked Sonjia’s coat (but not the three quarter sleeves) and that was about it. Rocky and Bullwinkle was spot on.

3. 3
   lindaw205
   Posted September 8, 2012 at 6:36 am

   Just saw the pic of Sonjii wearing Freegan’s ropey necklace. Have they been dipping in the same dumpster??

4. 4
   ApplePie
   Posted September 8, 2012 at 6:55 am

   Thanks for the awesome ‘cap, Flipit! My laptop was bouncing on my significant stomach (and I can’t blame quitting smoking) as I LOL’ed at:

   We will approve your three hundred dollar loan as long as you agree to a lien on your donkey.
   and
   Do a lot of people die in the Fall or what?

   So sad WiggaLez left. I loved looking at her beautiful skin and remarkably clean dreads. Her clothes weren’t great, but her perpetual high was a nice contrast to the dramatics of Boris&Natasha and The Two Queens.

5. 5
   lindaw205
   Posted September 8, 2012 at 7:02 am

   Is it just me or is Heidi looking more and more like Kors each episode. Her face looked a tad pumpkiny, I thought.

   And what sweet sweet poetic justice it would be for Ven to have to design for Dance Moms, especially Jabby. I’m also wondering how he’s kept from spitting on Fat Bitch Heidi this far in.

6. 6
   cattyfan
   Posted September 8, 2012 at 7:12 am

   What do these people have against color? Are they like fashion racists or something? I thought the idea of designer clothes was to help people stand out. Hard to do that if everyone is dressed in black and gray…like some sort of high fashion biker rally. (Bikers amuse me. They claim to be about individuality, but they all dress alike.)

   Ven’s pants didn’t fit the model at all. Perhaps he’s the one who should have gone home.

   Flipit…I loved Kors new look. He’s the perfect shade of orange. Ooo! Let’s have a Thneed challenge!

7. 7
   lindaw205
   Posted September 8, 2012 at 7:15 am

   I wasn’t thrilled with any of the clothes but I didn’t want WiggaLez to go home yet. I liked her. I just couldn’t stop staring at Heidi’s orange face and then realized just how much she is starting to resemble Kors. Except Kors dresses better that she does.

   Anyway, very entertaining recap as always, Flipit, and I’m so glad you quit smoking. Good for you! Should I invest in some chessypoof stock? You know, Walmart has those things on sale right now!!

8. 8
   featherhead
   Posted September 8, 2012 at 7:34 am

   I cannot believe I put Rocky and Bullwinkle, of course I meant Boris and Natasha, lol.

9. 9
   TalldrinkofH2O
   Posted September 8, 2012 at 7:57 am

   I thought of them as Boris and Natasha from the very first episode of this season due to HELLena’s black bangs and false eyelashes (Dimitry’s not short and shaped like a fireplug nor does he have a bushy black moustache, but they’re the only Russian duo I’m familiar with.)
   Btw, the final 3 are revealed on the net in articles, so you can look it up and spoil the surprise . . . just like how my sister and I would secretly unwrap Xmas presents under the tree before the big day and then have nothing to be surprised about on Xmas morning.
   Congrats, Flipit, on quitting smoking. The weight will come off, too, if you work at it. You can do it. I snorted out loud several times reading this; you are the MASTER of hilarious recaps.
   Yes, Fall IS associated with death in the Five Element world. The number 4 is considered “unlucky” because it’s associated with death. Fall is the 4th season when the leaves are falling off the trees and things are dying back in anticipation of winter. White and shades of gray are associated with Fall (black is actually linked to Winter.) I agree that all that gray and black was incredibly DREARY. If SAD doesn’t drive you down, having to wear those colors would.
   Freegan, Buddha, and sober Tara Reid was the Bay of Pigs team. Yeah, yeah, great plan. This will really work. Those saggy socks with the high-heeled mary janes with that droopy skirt looked like part of the wardrobe from “Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?”

10. 10
    Polk8dot
    Posted September 8, 2012 at 8:36 am

    I could not get behind any single piece this ep. Even the winning jacket and Missto’s ‘trench’ (it was really closer to a wrap than anything else) were not good. They looked hack-y. I think Skunk had a deja’vu moment, and woke up suddenly thinking he was designing for L&T again. Either one of his dresses would have been better than that matador-inspired LDB.
    The rest were just horrible, although I would still give a pass to Dimitri and Sober Tara.
    Freegan is just,..just… so bereft of ideas, so artistically barren, and I think he might have infected the Lez with it, too.
    Lezzie was soooo over it, every single challenge, I wonder she bothered to even apply for the show. For someone who supposedly makes her living handling women’s crotches, her pants were just awful!
    HellEna – it must have been THE FIRST in PR History!!! that a designer made an outfit that could only be worn closed; the moment you opened it up it wilted to shit.
    Ven – if he’s not making his deconstructed petals he has NOTHING to offer . Yet another example this week, the moment his fan skirt is voted out, he makes a shapeless, drab, cheap looking, Amish farm-work/cow milking one. That skirt was a disgrace, especially for someone who made sure we heard 5o times, at least, how decorated and award-awarded he was at the fashion school. I bet GrAndrea was one of his teachers, with her total lack of skill and talent, and that’s how he blew himself up into a legend in his own mind. He could not make a presentable shit for the ‘real woman’, and now he could not even manage a cool skirt without pleats and petals? He is so obviously a HACK who just developed one technique and figured it would carry him for the next 30 years. Bwahahahaah. Hey, Ven – Leann SquIrcAngle called offering help, as the Starbucks she works at cut her hours again…
    The producers are so blatantly manipulating the challenges and the team makeups it’s not even funny anymore. And the judges are clearly set on protecting and guiding their favorites thru to the finale. I say Misstopher, Skunk, Dmitri, Ven, Tara Reed have nothing to worry about – they’ll all show at fashion week, no matter how much they may suck before we get there.
    And W T F was with the challenge setup this ep? Arts and crafts project? Begging on the streets? If you have not enough material with half the designers gone to cover 90 minutes, maybe just go back to a single hour, ha? Stop torturing us with those idiotic run-around-waste-some-time hole plugs. I swear it’s like PR left not only Fat Bitch’s stylist back at Bravo, but also any creativity and artistic expression. They’re getting closer and closer to the Wal-Mart / Kathy Lee Gifford fashion line as inspiration. What’ next? Lady Gaga insired challenge using steak meat, which they first have to butcher themselves? What CRAP!

11. 11
    snowshoecat
    Posted September 8, 2012 at 9:19 am

    Flip, that was the greatest ramble since Candy-Ass took up way too much space, or more recently someone who shall remain unnamed and unnoticed, ranted and raved all over the Gasm.

    Nicely played.

12. 12
    Detinha
    Posted September 8, 2012 at 9:30 am

    Happy B’Day,missusMia! Enjoy your trip! And here’s for 70 more!! ;D

    Flipit, you’re a genius, literally literally (h/t to Biden) a genius!

    HoboFreekanUnibrow is lucking out!! I think they feel sorry for him!

13. 13
    Unwise
    Posted September 8, 2012 at 10:50 am

    Star Trek Maternity and Amish Wells Fargo rep are two of the more perfect descriptions I’ve ever read! Awesome.
    Heidi did look a bit weird to me too! Maybe some filler or something. Mostly during judging her face looked off to me.

14. 14
    timgunnssister
    Posted September 8, 2012 at 11:00 am

    How does a sleevelesss fall coat make sense to anyone? Is it actually a long cashmere vest? It’s just too weird. And what happened with Ven is very telling, in my opinion. When he can’t make his signature, he can’t make fashion. Any designer who is basically a one way monkey generally can’t win this (petal girl whose name I can’t remember and Anya are noteable exceptions).

    This is why the one who left, left. And Dmitry better crank out a pair of pants soon or he’ll be out as well. Christopher does have talent – but he’s turned into such a mean girl.

15. 15
    sagittariuskim
    Posted September 8, 2012 at 12:22 pm

    What kind of inhuman monster doesn’t like sparkles and glitter. Sparkles and Glitter are pure happiness. How can you hate pure happiness?

    The majority of the challenges have been very meh. I liked Sonji’s coat I thought she used a nice color.

16. 16
    bubblesballentine
    Posted September 8, 2012 at 12:56 pm

    It was truly hysterical when Skunk announced he couldn’t stand Chris’s voice. Chances are they’ll end up together forever and be like Mark and Clark from Top Chef Masters… completely indistinguishable from each other after a few years.

    Sonji’s jacket was very cute. Dmitry does need to do some pants, or they may well auf him. Ven needs to partner up with Petals Leanne and start designing coffin interiors.

17. 17
    Enrique's Mole
    Posted September 8, 2012 at 1:09 pm

    Hilarious recap!

    I thought HellEna should have gone home. She’s made that ugly-ass, ill-fitting coat several times now. And, she’s a baby-eating, bitch.

    I liked Dreads. Her outfit may have been simple (“boring” to Nina), but it was far better than HellEna’s bargain-basement Matrix bathrobe.

18. 18
    Enrique's Mole
    Posted September 8, 2012 at 1:12 pm

    @TalldrinkofH20 – is that you Jenny (my sister)? We used to do the exact same thing with Christmas presents. lol.

19. 19
    moonshine
    Posted September 8, 2012 at 2:03 pm

    In fairness to Ven (who does not deserve it), the amish well fargo skirt was tara’s pattern that he then cut and constructed so we have YET to see what else he can do besides flowery twat shapes.

    Mistressful recap Flip.

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    TalldrinkofH2O
    Posted September 8, 2012 at 2:52 pm

    timgunnssister,
    I thought the same thing about Sisstopher’s “trench coat.” How can you call it a “coat” when it has no sleeves, and when is that practical in the Fall? Also, it was a pretty shapeless mass unless it was belted as well.
    I say that 3/4 length sleeves only work for early Spring and on blouses (so that women can show a slender wrist and their wrist jewelry.) I never did “get” those 3/4 sleeve mink coats that were all the rage in the 50′s and 60′s (if it’s cold enough to be wearing fur, then, by all means, you want that last 1/4 of your arm covered, too), and I likewise don’t really understand why Blue Hair’s blazer had 3/4 sleeves. The longer sleeve of the dress layered under it looks like hand-me-down clothes.
    Michael Kors really does have great 1-liners. I loved his grandma’s housecoat comment about how the model needs tissues in her pocket (he’s used that one before), but my all-time favorite was when he said he felt like the Pope at a peepshow. His comment on Tara/Buddha’s pants of “There should be something in there that girls don’t have” has to be in the Top 5.

21. 21
    timgunnssister
    Posted September 8, 2012 at 3:59 pm

    @moonshine, I think Tara drafted the pants and Ven made those – the skirt was ALL him. And I suspect he’s the one who screwed up the crotch in the pants. Odd, since he has made pants before (first challenge) but they were weird and had side pleats.

    I also like Alicia – beautiful skin and she was clearly more versatile than many others in what she can make.

22. 22
    CynTV
    Posted September 8, 2012 at 4:42 pm

    Wow! The cat claws were OUT this week!! I laughed at the entire recap. I miss your Kors and Nina photos. You should compile them for a gallery showing. Maybe you could be on Gallery Girls. Just a thought.

    Here’s what I don’t understand. I wouldn’t buy anything from a designer who dressed herself as a sad Rasta mechanic. And I HATE HELLena. I would have punched her out like I was on the Bad Girls Club.

23. 23
    MummyButterfly
    Posted September 8, 2012 at 6:57 pm

    @Snowshoecat – RE#11 – is it sad or frightening that I know EXACTLY of whom you are referring in your comment. We must watch all the same shows (or read/comment on all the same recaps). Something tells me we would be excellent friends in real life…

24. 24
    moonshine
    Posted September 8, 2012 at 8:40 pm

    @timgunnssister .. you are correct! i re-watched that segment and Tara clearly states that Ven sewed the hideous ‘ballroom’ pants and he, proving that he is indeed, a “two way monkey”, was responsible for the Amish skirt.

25. 25
    sarcasatire
    Posted September 8, 2012 at 9:07 pm

    I think we can tell time by how much darker the rings under Christopher’s eyes get. Each week, he gets another ring. He’s like a rapidly aging tree!

26. 26
    mcweanis
    Posted September 8, 2012 at 11:11 pm

    my FAVORITE quote was from dmitri during judging. elena was whining that her coat sucked because she didn’t have enough time, AND that dmitri took up a whole outfit and she wanted to make more things. dmitri calls her on it with something like
    “if you thought you didn’t have enough to do, you could have made a nicer coat.” – in hilarious russian accent, of course. LOVE.

27. 27
    sarcasatire
    Posted September 9, 2012 at 1:07 am

    Mcweanis, I missed that but that’s awesome. Burn!

    He also said she made “coffins” every challenge…her coats are as boxy as a…pine box.

    Great recap, Flipit! And Happy Happy Birthday MrsMia!

28. 28
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted September 9, 2012 at 3:16 am

    Happy Birthday MrsMiaWallace! I hope you have an awesome time!

    @mcweanis, that was the best part of the entire episode. Like, I was crying real tears.
    And you could tell that even the judges were slightly taken aback by the shade, because there was that moment of silence when everyone was like did he really just say that. And the look on Elena’s face. Man, I love Dmitry. He does need to make some other stuff besides dresses though. I looked at his stuff online and he can make different pieces and silhouettes, so he should start bringing that to the competition.

    I’m not sorry to see Alicia go. Her clothes have never been interesting to me and she herself is quite boring. I also seriously question her taste level if she thinks Elena is a better designer than Dmitry. Elena designs football uniforms and portable (barely) caves.

    And thank you for the recap Flipit! It was really a treat, even though I take offense at Michael Kors being equated to The Lorax. The Lorax is cute.

29. 29
    Pawesl
    Posted September 9, 2012 at 6:35 am

    These people always make dresses because of the time constraints. They are quick and easy to make instead of a pants suit or pants with a nice blouse and a blazer. Frankly Lifetime really needs to add in some 2 day challenges. Bravo had way more and ever since the shows move the people only get like 10 hours a day to make these clothes. In the end its better to send out something semi decent than halfway unfinished and that’s why they are stuck on dresses. I seem to recall that when one piece is showcased if it has a companion piece it’s usually mediocre. If a contestant sends out pants the top will be mediocre. If the contestant wants to show off a jacket the dress will be boring.

    Also everyone left has shown at fashion week I saw all the collections and NONE of them look good at all.

30. 30
    maryedith
    Posted September 9, 2012 at 9:22 am

    The judges ended up having no problem with the flying buttress exposed darts on Dmitri’s dress that caused such consternation in the workroom. That was a little anticlimactic. In fact, I wondered what was up with the editing on that one, because there was nothing WTF about Dmitri’s dress at all. It was too safe, which was why he threw together that pashmina train wreck. Hellena is the worst kind of person. She makes everyone around her look bad because it takes all their energy just to avoid the mayhem she generates. Of course Dmitri only made a dress; how could he attempt anything else with that tornado whirling around him? Because Hellena, on the other hand, puts most of her energy into finding ways to blame everyone around her for her own disasters, she’s gotten quite good at this. Alicia actually came away from that challenge thinking Dmitri was a worse designer than Hellena, and the judges almost bought that line too.

31. 31
    maryedith
    Posted September 9, 2012 at 9:24 am

    But not maryedith. Tolstoy, Dostoyevsky, and Chekov have prepared me for Hellena!

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    moonshine
    Posted September 9, 2012 at 9:30 am

    Totes agree Pawesl, perhaps Lifetime cannot afford the utility bills IF those sewing machines and steam irons have to be exercised for another day. It is unfair for the judges to complain about the quality when the designers are given such time constraints. The winner becomes the fastest seamstress/seamsperson(?)/seamster.

    @Mcweanis: yessss that was hilarious. Love Dmitry.

33. 33
    Caligal
    Posted September 9, 2012 at 11:55 am

    I think Elena has some residual Chernobyl effects in her system. She is a beast!

34. 34
    maryedith
    Posted September 9, 2012 at 12:22 pm

    Agree about the challenges needing to be longer, but at least the judges aren’t openly asking the contestants to be one-way monkeys like they were in Anyawn’s season when it was all about “branding.” This season’s slant seems to be toward “outfits for every occasion.” I miss the days when it was “let’s see if you outsiders can make something normal people would recognize as clothing.”

35. 35
    Shana
    Posted September 9, 2012 at 5:44 pm

    There are great recappers in the Gasmi, but Flipit, you are by far and away the best! I love you Flipit! I had forgotten just how hysterically I laugh at your recaps. I miss laughing like that. Sigh.

    As for the episode, there is NO WAY that the teams were not set up purposefully. I found Misstopher’s words telling–something like, ‘I’m glad I wasn’t PUT into that group’, not PICKED or ENDED UP.

    Hellena, besides all her bitchin’ ways, also annoyed me with her glitter and sparkles comment–as if her fuschia lipstick and lime green press-on nails on top of her light pink nails (which she did not stop sucking and biting on THE ENTIRE episode–Yuck!) aren’t a little too glitzy tramp. I think she just doesn’t like–well, anything.

36. 36
    Shana
    Posted September 9, 2012 at 5:47 pm

    Which is worse–dour, sour Hellena, or jumpy, hyper Hellena? I think it is about equal.
    Is she still considered people’s favorite?

37. 37
    2muchbravo
    Posted September 9, 2012 at 6:26 pm

    No slight to Mrs Mia but I was sooooo excited to see Flipit back doing a Project Runway recap.
    He hooked me on the ‘Gasm with his recaps of the PR season with Leann Squirangle. Glad to see you Flipit!!!

    I don’t understand how you all are saying you don’t think Alicia should have gone home and then in the next sentence say she sucked. Who should have gone then? She was just blah, blah, blah. Her designs were boring, Her interviews were boring. Her pale skin and tan hair…boring. Just a very forgettable character. Both she and Freegan sucked but I think she should have gone home LAST week.

    Anyhoodle. I kept expecting Dmitry and Elena to start sniping at each other in Russian.
    I kind of thought Ven’s petal skirt, though typical, was better than that sack they ended up with. I wonder if anyone ever thinks Tim leads them astray with is comments. Although, he helped Sonjia by telling her not to over think her jacket. I loved that you could see the leather gloves under the sleeves.

38. 38
    Shana
    Posted September 9, 2012 at 8:14 pm

    Do Hellena and Dimitri just need to get a room already?

    Not only do the designers all constantly use black, but they also request ‘smokey eyes’ as their go to makeup choice too.

39. 39
    2muchbravo
    Posted September 9, 2012 at 10:54 pm

    I wondered about the if there was some sexual tension too, Shana. They’d probably shag and go back to spitting venom at each other.

    I was watching a PR marathon this weekend and caught season one which I hadn’t seen before. I realize it was 7 years ago, but Kors and Tim, in particular, looked soooo much younger. It was fun to see how things have evolved since then.

40. 40
    kthxbai
    Posted September 9, 2012 at 11:48 pm

    1008 -Fabio, Melissa & Ven’s Design There’s just 1 bid of $40 for it so far.

    Hurry now.

41. 41
    Sue
    Posted September 10, 2012 at 1:12 am

    Haha-”I want tot be friends with her so she can wear that outfit to change my tire” great funny recap.
    Love the comments about the judges

42. 42
    juddfan
    Posted September 10, 2012 at 10:49 am

    As usual, I am late to the party. I haven’t seen spoilers for who wins, but top people and bottom people are usually pretty clear. I wasn’t surprised to see dreds go . . . I liked her, and I think she pushed herself a lot, but she was rather sleepy.

    I don’t hate Hellena, I don’t know why she hasn’t gotten on my nerves, I kinda enjoy her and I like her aesthetic for the most part. dimi is a tad glitzy . . . especially his earlier work.

    I too glanced at the full collections . . . ahem, I don’t think everything sucked (except Ven’s IMHO) but I couldn’t tell at all who was a contendah and who was a pawn.

    I really, really hope Ven doesn’t make the cut. Flip it, perfect description of his sociopathic monotone!!! As always, you are a master!!!

    Puta is spanish, right? Just checking . . .

43. 43
    LAC
    Posted September 10, 2012 at 1:56 pm

    OMG – Flipit!! YAY! Thank you for stepping in for Ms. Mia. I so love your picture choices for the judges, as usual.

    Jaysus, Elena is operating on two modes – whine and bitch. Has this woman ever had a happy thought or want to make anyone happy? If you had her for a designer, you would need to start taking anti-depressants during a fitting.

    I did like the gunner/christopher/sonija collection. I am glad that some hunter green found its way in there. And the hissing was muted, such is the power of sparkle and t-shirts. I found Christopher’s dramatic analyis of Elena hilarious – in a “16 year old teen girl over enunciating her words” way.

44. 44
    itchy
    Posted September 10, 2012 at 3:10 pm

    So it’s wrong of me to be fatally attracted to Hellena then? She reminds me of my awfully bitchy but oh so sexy sister-in-law… I was really disappointed she wasn’t on the team with Tara Reid though (who should win the season just …because).

    Also, Dmitri and Hellena come from different countries – Hellena’s from Ukraine, Dmitri’s from Belarus, so strictly for political/historical reasons, they probably hate each other.

45. 45
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted September 10, 2012 at 3:56 pm

    It’s not wrong.
    Normally, she’s really really beautiful. The problem comes when you talk to her or sit near her or be around her or have any kind of human interaction with her in any way.

46. 46
    juddfan
    Posted September 10, 2012 at 4:22 pm

    Itchy, I wish you could go back in time and give her a night to remember . . . I’m thinking it’s been a while for ol’ Hell! I know I get uptight and grouchy when I’m low on the nookie . . . which is always . . . no wonder!

47. 47
    itchy
    Posted September 11, 2012 at 4:29 am

    Heh, judd, I sort of specialized in dating that nasty needy bitchy type for a while there in my 20s. I’m not sure even I could have helped this one.

48. 48
    juddfan
    Posted September 11, 2012 at 12:29 pm

    oh, you are too modest, of course you could!!!

    ; )

49. 49
    Dana
    Posted September 11, 2012 at 9:34 pm

    oh my god. i was laughing uncontrollably. so good. thank you, flipit. you bring me joy.

50. 50
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted September 12, 2012 at 7:45 pm

    “oh, you are too modest, of course you could!!!”

    I don’t know…if anyone would have a raging case of vagina dentata, it would be Elena.

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    NotaNJHousewife
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 1:41 am

    Didn’t anyone but me love Michael Kor’s snarkiest comment this season so far? He said Elena’s coat looks like she made WITH HER FEET! Man, I’d love to be in the room when she watches this epi!

52. 52
    itchy
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 2:31 am

    @ chaosbutterfly: By coincidence I’ve just been watching that Teeth movie… well I tried to …

    I can just imagine sleeping with Elena. “No no! You’re not doing it right! You suck at this! This is terrible! Grrrowwwlllll!”