Project Runway Recap: The Lexus Knows

Recaps

By MrsMiaWallace | Monday, August 6, 2012 | 10:34 am | 24 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Project Runway, Recaps

Hola Gasmii! I spent the weekend at the beach having a fabulous time so I might come off as kind and charitable to designers, but please don’t worry. The snark will return faster than my usual ghostly pallor.

Last time we had Unusual Materials and Blorpheus the Discontented FINALLY was recognized as the best designer with his candy-coated raindrop stained glass dress. The dress was stunning, so he totally deserved it in my books, but then I had to burn those books when he gracelessly accepted the win by mentioning he still should have won the first challenge.

“My pleats bring all the boys to the yard”

His vile ego was less noticeable though due to Lantie’s eviction, which could not have been more bitter and ungrateful. She fully deserved to go and instead of giving her any more press, I will give you a picture of Sonjia’s fabulously swimmy jelly shark necklined dress, which many of you (and maybe me too) feel could have taken the win.

Shark Week red carpet

On to the show!

The designers all head into the runway room to be greeted by Heidi. Heidi continues her streak of bad fashion that I guess is just going to be what she does all season. Some of you have pondered whether Seal was dressing her all this time. I think it’s entirely possible since she has shown up for every appearance so far looking like a seal has been dressing her.

She  forgot the ball she’s supposed to be balancing

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MrsMiaWallace is an east coast girl with a  penchant for travel, libations and great cuisine. She is not known to turn down a mimosa or a martini and finds the transition between the two a good way to mark the passing of time since she can never remember to wear a watch. Her secret love for reality tv and addiction to Bravo have drawn her like a moth to the glittering snark of TVGasm,  where she finds there are others like her... hopefully also nursing Bloody Marys.

24 Comments

  1. 1
    mcweanis
    Posted August 6, 2012 at 11:16 am

    bwahahahaha i love the captions, especially the bully one. great job!

  2. 2
    featherhead
    Posted August 6, 2012 at 11:35 am

    I had forgotten how bad April looked with that purple hair. I wonder who told her that was a good look?

  3. 3
    PopePhilly PopePhilly
    Posted August 6, 2012 at 12:01 pm

    Great recap, MrsMia!

    What made me laugh was that Grandma and Christopher made an exact replica of everything Anya made last season. I guess if it’s not made by a pretty girl (or porn star) with only a few months of sewing experience, then it’s not nearly as good.

  4. 4
    sagittariuskim sagittariuskim
    Posted August 6, 2012 at 12:16 pm

    The last time I went to Olive Garden my server was from the Ukraine. And she said it was a beautiful country with thick forest.

    I think Christopher is almost as bad as Skunk.

    Kenley’s dress was more of cocktail dress it was pretty, but not Emmys and not a winning dress to me. While Sonjia’s dress wasn’t spectacular it was definitely more of an Emmys dress.

  5. 5
    Enrique's Mole
    Posted August 6, 2012 at 2:09 pm

    Kenley has bulked up. Couldn’t happen to a nicer person.

  6. 6
    juddfan
    Posted August 6, 2012 at 3:17 pm

    @ Mrs. Mia–Even her ass has a frown, HAHAHAHAHHA!!! Your captions were awesome!

    That link in the mini caps to Laura’s break-down of the epi was worth seeing, I wont repost it tho, and try and take credit . . . It was Frowny Bitch Ass who suggested the draping in the back to cover the mistakes in sewing. anyone find it odd they didn’t ask to see the back of the dress. Fashion is going very 70′s of late . . . I’m not too happy about it either. Look up the Farrah Fawcett Doll (mego) and the white jumpsuit, that’s what Frowny Bitch Ass’s dress reminds me of.

    Also, I feel vindicated that I said last week they should have given Sonji the win over Ven, coz he would have more chances . . . now he got two in a row. . . sigh . . . and am I the only one that noticed the weird bunching on the skirt, in the front and back, it looked like one of the pleats was glued down in a weird and crumply way, and didn’t puff out the same as the other parts.

    Poor Mila, oh poor, poor Mila . . . she must be at least a mildly good sport for letting them do that to her. Awful!

    I didn’t mind April’s hair color, but roots with that kind of color kill me . . . looks just awful. the dress was okay, but I’m just never gonna love shiny fabric . . . I don’t think it’s ever flattering, no matter how hot the wearer. Save the silk for Kimono’s and sheets! (feel free to disagree, esp anyone whose worn said shiny fabric)

    I found it a little hard to believe how bad they could make Anya look . . . wow . . .

    I was glad Elena managed to pull it together, she’s more hard than bitchy to me. She’s oddly the most popular designer on the Lifetime site, who knew!?

    And just when the old lady pulls out the NY accent, there has to be upcoming drama! I love a little Cooofeee tayk! Oh well . . . I don’t think she’s used to this kind of treatment. Christopher was ridiculous tho . . . why so emotional, just say, well, I don’t want to criticize my elders, but she took 12 hours to cut the dress, and I found that too long. Enough said.

    Have to put this higher on the boring scale for fashion output . . . oh well . . .

    And can I add, Laura’s blog has some serious behind the scenes disses!!!! You must go find the link that I can’t give credit for, as I’m stuck here commenting!

  7. 7
    juddfan
    Posted August 6, 2012 at 3:46 pm

    It was michkabibbles post on the mini-cap with the link!

  8. 8
    Wasabipeas wasabipeas
    Posted August 6, 2012 at 6:34 pm

    “Grandma should pack up her hoveround” HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!

  9. 9
    Brattygrl
    Posted August 6, 2012 at 11:39 pm

    I totally love Krysten Ritter (guest judge) and her show! I always think I would love to hang out with her. Then, watching her barely contain her laughter during Chris’ little meltdown only solidified that thought! I really do like Chris, but it was a little daytime Emmy…

  10. 10
    itchy itchy
    Posted August 7, 2012 at 1:07 am

    At this point, I’m pretty certain that I could come on this show and win. And I’ve never sewn a damn thing in my life.

  11. 11
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted August 7, 2012 at 1:43 am

    Elena fled the Ukraine after she won The Hunger Games.

  12. 12
    NotWithoutMyTV NotwithoutmyTV
    Posted August 7, 2012 at 4:28 am

    @ saracastire: Ha!

    @sagittariuskim: Beautiful forested country my ass. Every one knows that Elena’s home country is a post-apocalyptic wasteland where you have to be stronger than next person you meet so that you can overpower them and eat them, and where starving, dirty children dream of a world where mediocre sewing skills and a feral attitude equals a belly full of hot food each night…

    Re: the show: Go to the runway, so Heidi can traipse out and not tell you what the challenge is. Go to a rooftop somewhere so some guy can pitch Lexus cars–and still not tell you what the challenge is. Go to a third place to finally find out which has-been you’ll be designing for. What is this, Episode II, where you first have to go a bunch of different places where the story ISN’T?

  13. 13
    Stephanie
    Posted August 7, 2012 at 8:05 am

    They had to wander around New York so the producers had enough to fill 90 minutes. If you are that desperate for material, cut the darn show to an hour!

  14. 14
    juddfan
    Posted August 7, 2012 at 9:38 am

    LOL @ Sacra, I just finished the second “Hunger Games” book, how appropriate!!!

    xoxo

  15. 15
    Pegalicious
    Posted August 7, 2012 at 1:57 pm

    So happy to see Laura back! I was disappointed that she wasn’t one of the “all-stars,” so this (and her blog) will have to do.

    Absolutely horrified that Kenley’s dress won; it reminds me of outfits I wore to church as a young teen in the late ’50s. (My mother did a remarkable job with her ancient Singer treadle machine; sad to say I didn’t fully appreciate her skills at the time.) The fact that Kenley believes it’s appropriate for the Emmys (and that the judges apparently agree) still puzzles me.

    I was pretty much in agreement with the judging for the first couple of weeks, but, as in seasons past, this week I found myself squinting at my TV and saying, “What? WHAT?”

    Had high hopes for Grandma, but her designs, IMO, haven’t measured up to her impressive (and oft-referenced) resume.

  16. 16
    nelliebelle1197
    Posted August 8, 2012 at 4:47 am

    I am sure someone will jump all over me, but I miss Flippit. Mrs.Mia, you are doing a good enough job, but NO ONE can recap PR like Flippit. Please, I need my Flippit.

  17. 17
    Pegalicious
    Posted August 8, 2012 at 7:42 pm

    @Mrs.MiaWallace, I think you’re doing a great job! Thanks for watching (and re-watching, and probably re-re-watching), getting those screen grabs, giving us those delicious captions, the snark (gotta have the snark) and getting it all posted for us to enjoy.

  18. 18
    S-Natch S-Natch
    Posted August 9, 2012 at 5:08 am

    “Afrasian’s cartoon identity is fueled by happiness and Irena makes him sad. Sad Afrasians slowly start to die so he just stands around melting while she reads him the riot act.” BWAHAHAHA!!! MrsMia FTW!! I confess I felt a little sorry for Afrasian when he deflated. Kind of like kicking a puppy. Which I would never do, btw. Keep up the amazing work, Mrs!!!!

  19. 19
    timgunnssister timgunnssister
    Posted August 9, 2012 at 12:13 pm

    This caption “Throw in elastic panels, I’ll be knocked up by sunset” made me laugh so hard a little pee came out so thanks for that.

    This was another bewildering episode. The dress that I believe should have won (Valeries gold creation) landed in the middle and I’m wondering if they have something against Sonjia. The 2 in the winners circle were 1) fugly and badly sewn and 2) absolutely NOT a red carpet dress and reasonably well sewn. Wonder if they are building up Ven for some spectacular fail? Should be interesting to watch. And someone please, please send Skunk home. Poor sewing skills (design skills okay) and the mistaken belief that the biggest bitch will win (okay, I’ll give you Gretchen and Irina) and that fingernails on a chalkboard voice and I have to mute the tv or leave the room when he’s on. Maybe Elena will remember where she left her bow and arrows and just nail him.

    Christopher still seems simply too fragile for this show.

  20. 20
    Detinha
    Posted August 9, 2012 at 2:19 pm

    @nelliebelle1197, I’m not jumping at you, but I disagree with you. I love Flipit’s recaps and they were fast, which made me love them even more, but MsMia’s recaps are better, she captures the funniest pics, and show more details! Keep up the good work, MsMia!

  21. 21
    BelowSeaLevel BelowSeaLevel
    Posted August 9, 2012 at 2:32 pm

    Loved your recap, MrsMia!

  22. 22
    timgunnssister timgunnssister
    Posted August 10, 2012 at 11:07 am

    Oh, and does anyone else think that Anya used some of her prize money for cosmetic surgery? Her breasts looked HUGE.

  23. 23
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted August 13, 2012 at 4:13 pm

    ^ Yes!
    In the brown dress, I was thinking that her boobs looked way bigger than before, but then I was like maybe its because there’s a giant swath of brown fabric covering them and making them look huge.
    Like what happens with turtlenecks.
    But maybe she did get them done.

  24. 24
    Shana
    Posted August 29, 2012 at 6:25 pm

    @nelliebelle1197: I agree; nothing against Mrs.Mia, but Flipit’s recaps would make my day. I loved his PR humor and miss it immensely. I can still hear his “voice” making crackups when I watch the show.

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