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Monday, August 6, 2012
10:34 am
24 Comments
Even her ass has a frown
Skunk, for once, correctly applies his powers of Bitch and gives her back plenty of sass. He admits to us that the dress sucks but also doesn’t let Irena walk over the team.
“A good spanking will turn that frown upside-down”
Runway!
Heidi comes out with a bodysleeve black furry tube.
Shiny, shaggy and shapeless!
The usual orange and cannibalistic flotsam and jetsam are ringside, and the guest judge is a nonsequitous Krysten Ritter who has a pretty funny new show running with James Van Der Beek as a caricaturization of himself. Give it a watch!
“I wear clothes, so totally qualified”
Elena and Buffi design for Laura – The dress is a little blah but turned out ok, there was clearly a lot of detailing that was rushed but it is Laura’s style and I just love her working the runway!
Christopher and Grandma design for Anya – Anya comes out looking like a two dollar hooker, and then the dress knocks another fifty cents off the price tag. The slit is high, the fabric looks cheap and the gold belt just screams Mall Couture.
Blorpheus and Fabio design for Kenley- The dress is prim and has Blorpheus’ signature pleating, yet still fits the aesthetic of Kenley to a T. It’s clear she loves it by the kick she gives to be oh so quirky. The designers smugly congratulate each other on how great it looks, but it isnot a red carpet dress.
Dmitry and Tara design for April – The dress is a high-necked long mess. They did a good job with the difficult fabric but it is still not entirely flattering. Then again, neither is anything April wears so she probably loves it. Heidi is smiling and the back draping is lovely.
Vampire Bangs and Dreads design for Mila – This dress looks like a misshapen, baggy wreck. I think it probably looks even worse in real life but on TV it translates to frumpy. Mila looks fiercely unhappy, but then again, she always does so maybe she loves it? Team Hair are both cringing.
Skunk and Afrasian design for Irena – This bitch comes out bitching. The dress actually doesn’t look too bad on the runway and Skunk feels a little hope. Afrasian does not and says he wants to eliminate himself. I can’t tell if it’s because the dress is so bad or because it is actually normal clothes he was forced to work with
Urkel and Sonjia design for Valerie – This is the first gown that looks like a true Emmy gown, it is long and gold and fits and flatters her body. It isn’t something that would wow you, but it is completely working.
Heidi tells the lineup that Urkel, Sonjia, Elena, Buffi, Dmitry and Tara are all safe. Sonjia gripes as she heads into the waiting room and I agree. She is being robbed every challenge! Heidi wants to talk first to the groups with the higher scores. It turns out that is Blorpheus/Fabio and Skunk/Afrasian. Skunk slaps Afrasian for doubting his diva-hood.
The first time a bully has ever worn this
Backstage in loserville the designers are amazed that the badly sewn Skunk creation is in the top. Christopher is near tears at being on the chopping block and Grandma is mystified that things turned out this way since she felt the task went so pleasantly. She marvels at getting upset over a dress and says if she goes home it would almost be a relief at this point. The designers are quick to scold her and tell her how much they gave up for the show and how badly everyone in the room wants it. They have a point although there is a lot of histerionics involved.
The judges love Kenley’s dress. Heidi and Nina both think it works for the Emmys and is expensive-looking. Michael Kors states the obvious that it isn’t going to wow anyone but he likes that it looks just like everything Blorpheus designs and yet is within Kenley’s criteria. When it comes to Fabio he promises they will at some point see something recognizable as his. Like something he personally pulled out of the trash. When asked which designer should go to the Emmys if they win, Fabio says himself but I’m not sure how he can say that with a straight face. Blorpheus of course thinks since the idea, design and skirt construction were his, he is the rightful winner.
We make boring look good
For Irena, the judges really love the dress and how well it is designed for Irena’s body. She does look glamorous and any woman would pick this dress over Kenley’s for a big flashy event. Irena says she likes it but takes a shot at the sloppy sewing. I’m thinking if they win she has to wear it so she is trying to sabotage. This dress is completely made by the Lord and Taylor necklace they added that worked perfectly with the neckline. I’m thinking it is more interesting than it ever would be without that choker. When asked who should go Afrasian says flat-out that Skunk should because Afrasian wouldn’t or couldn’t make this dress himself. Skunk nods and agrees with his snidey little smile that makes me him locked in a room with Irena.
A Bitch, a Boy Scout and a Brillo pad
The bad designers are in for it now and Mila tells the judges she is uncomfortable and feels the garment is ill-fitting. Every judge chastises the Bad Hair Twins for not tailoring something or even designing menswear since they are skilled at that. They also hate the earrings and hair extension which seem to have been Vampire Bangs’ idea. When asked who should go home Vampire Bangs says they agreed it was 50/50 effort and they won’t throw each other under the bus. Dreads pipes up that he was the one who started sketching. No honor among weaves!
Unilateral pacts are rarely sucessful
Christopher now finally has his chance to trash Grandma. He tattles that it took her 12 hours to cut the skirt and the judges are disappointed with that and every aspect of the design. Krysten says it looks like a drugstore Halloween costume! When asked who should go, Christopher of course says Grandma should pack up her Hover-Round and hit the bricks rolling. Especially since she basically said she was ok with that ten minutes prior. Grandma goes senile and denies by spinning it that she meant she has had a wonderful opportunity and would still be grateful even if sent home. Great politics. She then either lies or references footage we don’t get to see by saying that Christopher screwed up the bodice and couldn’t construct the cowl neckline. The slit is way too high and I think I see Anya underwear?? Christopher starts to break down and whimper. It looks like Heidi is a Chris fan because she says she watched him during Runway and he looked sad then too. That might’ve been him looking at her dress though.
Not even Heidi would wear this
TV Social
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24 Comments
bwahahahaha i love the captions, especially the bully one. great job!
I had forgotten how bad April looked with that purple hair. I wonder who told her that was a good look?
Great recap, MrsMia!
What made me laugh was that Grandma and Christopher made an exact replica of everything Anya made last season. I guess if it’s not made by a pretty girl (or porn star) with only a few months of sewing experience, then it’s not nearly as good.
The last time I went to Olive Garden my server was from the Ukraine. And she said it was a beautiful country with thick forest.
I think Christopher is almost as bad as Skunk.
Kenley’s dress was more of cocktail dress it was pretty, but not Emmys and not a winning dress to me. While Sonjia’s dress wasn’t spectacular it was definitely more of an Emmys dress.
Kenley has bulked up. Couldn’t happen to a nicer person.
@ Mrs. Mia–Even her ass has a frown, HAHAHAHAHHA!!! Your captions were awesome!
That link in the mini caps to Laura’s break-down of the epi was worth seeing, I wont repost it tho, and try and take credit . . . It was Frowny Bitch Ass who suggested the draping in the back to cover the mistakes in sewing. anyone find it odd they didn’t ask to see the back of the dress. Fashion is going very 70′s of late . . . I’m not too happy about it either. Look up the Farrah Fawcett Doll (mego) and the white jumpsuit, that’s what Frowny Bitch Ass’s dress reminds me of.
Also, I feel vindicated that I said last week they should have given Sonji the win over Ven, coz he would have more chances . . . now he got two in a row. . . sigh . . . and am I the only one that noticed the weird bunching on the skirt, in the front and back, it looked like one of the pleats was glued down in a weird and crumply way, and didn’t puff out the same as the other parts.
Poor Mila, oh poor, poor Mila . . . she must be at least a mildly good sport for letting them do that to her. Awful!
I didn’t mind April’s hair color, but roots with that kind of color kill me . . . looks just awful. the dress was okay, but I’m just never gonna love shiny fabric . . . I don’t think it’s ever flattering, no matter how hot the wearer. Save the silk for Kimono’s and sheets! (feel free to disagree, esp anyone whose worn said shiny fabric)
I found it a little hard to believe how bad they could make Anya look . . . wow . . .
I was glad Elena managed to pull it together, she’s more hard than bitchy to me. She’s oddly the most popular designer on the Lifetime site, who knew!?
And just when the old lady pulls out the NY accent, there has to be upcoming drama! I love a little Cooofeee tayk! Oh well . . . I don’t think she’s used to this kind of treatment. Christopher was ridiculous tho . . . why so emotional, just say, well, I don’t want to criticize my elders, but she took 12 hours to cut the dress, and I found that too long. Enough said.
Have to put this higher on the boring scale for fashion output . . . oh well . . .
And can I add, Laura’s blog has some serious behind the scenes disses!!!! You must go find the link that I can’t give credit for, as I’m stuck here commenting!
It was michkabibbles post on the mini-cap with the link!
“Grandma should pack up her hoveround” HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!
I totally love Krysten Ritter (guest judge) and her show! I always think I would love to hang out with her. Then, watching her barely contain her laughter during Chris’ little meltdown only solidified that thought! I really do like Chris, but it was a little daytime Emmy…
At this point, I’m pretty certain that I could come on this show and win. And I’ve never sewn a damn thing in my life.
Elena fled the Ukraine after she won The Hunger Games.
@ saracastire: Ha!
@sagittariuskim: Beautiful forested country my ass. Every one knows that Elena’s home country is a post-apocalyptic wasteland where you have to be stronger than next person you meet so that you can overpower them and eat them, and where starving, dirty children dream of a world where mediocre sewing skills and a feral attitude equals a belly full of hot food each night…
Re: the show: Go to the runway, so Heidi can traipse out and not tell you what the challenge is. Go to a rooftop somewhere so some guy can pitch Lexus cars–and still not tell you what the challenge is. Go to a third place to finally find out which has-been you’ll be designing for. What is this, Episode II, where you first have to go a bunch of different places where the story ISN’T?
They had to wander around New York so the producers had enough to fill 90 minutes. If you are that desperate for material, cut the darn show to an hour!
LOL @ Sacra, I just finished the second “Hunger Games” book, how appropriate!!!
xoxo
So happy to see Laura back! I was disappointed that she wasn’t one of the “all-stars,” so this (and her blog) will have to do.
Absolutely horrified that Kenley’s dress won; it reminds me of outfits I wore to church as a young teen in the late ’50s. (My mother did a remarkable job with her ancient Singer treadle machine; sad to say I didn’t fully appreciate her skills at the time.) The fact that Kenley believes it’s appropriate for the Emmys (and that the judges apparently agree) still puzzles me.
I was pretty much in agreement with the judging for the first couple of weeks, but, as in seasons past, this week I found myself squinting at my TV and saying, “What? WHAT?”
Had high hopes for Grandma, but her designs, IMO, haven’t measured up to her impressive (and oft-referenced) resume.
I am sure someone will jump all over me, but I miss Flippit. Mrs.Mia, you are doing a good enough job, but NO ONE can recap PR like Flippit. Please, I need my Flippit.
@Mrs.MiaWallace, I think you’re doing a great job! Thanks for watching (and re-watching, and probably re-re-watching), getting those screen grabs, giving us those delicious captions, the snark (gotta have the snark) and getting it all posted for us to enjoy.
“Afrasian’s cartoon identity is fueled by happiness and Irena makes him sad. Sad Afrasians slowly start to die so he just stands around melting while she reads him the riot act.” BWAHAHAHA!!! MrsMia FTW!! I confess I felt a little sorry for Afrasian when he deflated. Kind of like kicking a puppy. Which I would never do, btw. Keep up the amazing work, Mrs!!!!
This caption “Throw in elastic panels, I’ll be knocked up by sunset” made me laugh so hard a little pee came out so thanks for that.
This was another bewildering episode. The dress that I believe should have won (Valeries gold creation) landed in the middle and I’m wondering if they have something against Sonjia. The 2 in the winners circle were 1) fugly and badly sewn and 2) absolutely NOT a red carpet dress and reasonably well sewn. Wonder if they are building up Ven for some spectacular fail? Should be interesting to watch. And someone please, please send Skunk home. Poor sewing skills (design skills okay) and the mistaken belief that the biggest bitch will win (okay, I’ll give you Gretchen and Irina) and that fingernails on a chalkboard voice and I have to mute the tv or leave the room when he’s on. Maybe Elena will remember where she left her bow and arrows and just nail him.
Christopher still seems simply too fragile for this show.
@nelliebelle1197, I’m not jumping at you, but I disagree with you. I love Flipit’s recaps and they were fast, which made me love them even more, but MsMia’s recaps are better, she captures the funniest pics, and show more details! Keep up the good work, MsMia!
Loved your recap, MrsMia!
Oh, and does anyone else think that Anya used some of her prize money for cosmetic surgery? Her breasts looked HUGE.
^ Yes!
In the brown dress, I was thinking that her boobs looked way bigger than before, but then I was like maybe its because there’s a giant swath of brown fabric covering them and making them look huge.
Like what happens with turtlenecks.
But maybe she did get them done.
@nelliebelle1197: I agree; nothing against Mrs.Mia, but Flipit’s recaps would make my day. I loved his PR humor and miss it immensely. I can still hear his “voice” making crackups when I watch the show.