Prom Queens Recap: Teenagers and Tiaras

TTR has less than three hours to get her absences excused, and I have a feeling her jaw is going to be really sore the next day.  Her poor, clueless mother had no idea about the absences, but she doesn’t really seem to mind much.  Princess mocks her with “sucks to suck,” so I believe she and I are on the same page regarding TTR’s. . . sucking up tactic.  Turkish Tara Reid pulls it together and gets the teacher signatures stating that she was in school the full days she needs to stay in the running to become Miami’s next top washed up mess.  So they just lied for her?  Way to be good role models, teachers of Miami Beach High School! 

“You have to do whatever you need to do.”  Direct quote.

The Princess is making glitter construction paper posters for campaigning, and TTR is just as arrogant as ever in saying she is going to win.  TTR’s date, who could benefit from some Clearasil, is aware enough to know that she needs to campaign and at least let people know that she’s running for prom queen. 

The princess and her friend are walking around with a bullhorn being completely obnoxious.  By the way, her friend looks straight out of a women’s prison.  Bitch will shank you in the shower if you don’t watch your back. 

“Vote for Annie or die [and give me all your cigarettes]”

Zits McGee jumps on top of a vending machine to yell for everyone to vote for TTR, which is a little sweet.  TTR says it’s okay, no one is going to vote for Princess anyway.  Ugh, can they just both lose?  I can’t root for either of these tragic girls.

PROM DAY

The big day is here and the girls need to get their shit together and look their best.  The Princess is having her makeup done at home while Turkish Tara Reid is getting primped at a salon.  TTR states that when she gets her crown, she’s going to hug Annie and tell her “it’s okay, you’re still a princess, just not a queen.”  Hehehe.  She calls her date Zits to remind him that he better have a nice car and to complete his Proactiv regimen before prom.

Chelsea Clinton tries to calm TTR down, but she’s met with the hand and “stop talking.”  Oh hell no.  If I had pulled that stunt on my mom, I’d be sporting a handprint on my face to prom.  TTR has already won the crown in her mind, and I have to agree with that bitchy Narrator that she is acting like a brat.

Look how much cuter she is with slightly more understated makeup!

Princess is also confident that she has the win in the bag, and I’m confident that both these girls have no morals or souls.  She tells us that her prom dress is out of the ordinary in that it’s short because she herself is short.  Sure, that makes sense.  I may not know what kids wear to prom now, but ten years ago a short prom dress was a one-way ticket to Slut Town.  Oh shit, you guys have to see this fabricated abomination.  Princess has chosen a strapless deep-pink dress with sequins on her boobs.  The empire waist is accentuated by a narrow horizontal bow and leads to a billowy layered chiffon bottom which has a choppy triangular hem line.  It is a fucking mess and does nothing for her body.  Actually, it makes her look shorter and wider than she really is.