We’re in the bathroom and Twitch is still sobbing about how mean Brandi was at game night. LOL. “I diden evennoe what methisssss!! Thadwasomeeeeean!” Not accusing her of anything, but meth heads aren’t known for their great memory, so let’s not judge her too harshly for forgetting that she hid Brandi’s crutches, slurred about not wanting to have to talk to her, and of course called her a whore face slut pig waste of life.
Thankfully, pictures remind us of what meth erases.
Here’s how I know that Twitch is not truly sober: she can’t take responsibility for one damn thing. NOTHING. Brandi almost squeals about how the Witchard Sisters were mean to her first, but she drops it and just hugs Kim a lot. Uh oh, Failor’s here. She’s not missing a free line.
Aaaand…back to the table, where Adrienne is now recording a video for The Trevor Project about how hard it is to be bullied by other women at the dinner table.
It doesn’t get better. EVER.
Lisa’s basically being skewered by Kyle Witchards now, so she scurries off to the bathroom to make Brandi apologize. B squeals like a basket of kittens getting skinned, but Lisa threatens a time out. Brandi sulks back to the table, plops down in her seat, and pouts. “I’m sorry for saying fuck.” Lisa pats her on the head and gives her crayons to continue coloring on the table cloth. Ad rolls her eyes and says “apology accepted”.
And then the phone rings. And Brandi answers and I can’t tell who it is at first. I can say this much: it’s not self awareness. She giggles and coos “I love you” into the phone as the ladies all give each other “classless fucking bitch” looks. She hangs up and announces that it was her gay book agent. Before anyone has a chance to ask more about her agent’s personal life, she continues that she got a book deal!!
GREAT TIMING!! Lisa mumbles a really sad “Cheerio, dahling” while Failor pretends she’s centering her chi and deep breathing. Ad laughs out loud and points at her so everyone can laugh. Fail is just lucky there’s not a candle near, cuz you know her breath would set the table afire. Brandi doesn’t get why everyone’s giving her stink eye and giggles that Fail should keep meditating and maybe learn to be happy for another woman. LOL.
Kyle gets in her face and reminds her that at the last reunion, she accused Fail of profiting off of tragedy with a book of her own. Um, writing a book full of bullshit about a man you went on a con rampage with, stole money with, and then turned on and accused of light abuse and later near murder because you almost lost your job on a reality show, causing said sap to KILL HIMSELF, is a little different than writing a book about getting cheated on, FAIL. She also wasn’t in the process of writing it while she was still lying to his face about trying to work it out with a faux doctor that’s appeared on Bravo as everything from a psychotherapist to a dog groomer. YOU DUMB HO.