Anyone care how Failor feels about all this? Well, she’s sick of the whining! What she’s gone through is twenty times worse than what anyone else here has had to go through!! That’s why she needs twenty times the amount of wine.
Twitch verbally rolls her eyes and Yolanda tells Fail that she’s talking a bunch of bs and she didn’t draw Fail’s behavior to be like this tonight. Camille, used to having to deal with pompous assholes who have to shave their back, is Fail’s only audience. Fail doesn’t appreciate Holy Yoli’s judgement! YOU try finding your husband hanging, losing everything, getting sued for the cons you pulled on friends, throwing up until gum you swallowed from the fifth grade shows up in your toilet, walking around with a face that looks like a plastic doorknob in a house fire, having a traumatized daughter that has to check under the bed every night to make sure your monster ass isn’t hiding under it, etc etc etc.
Camille gently says that maybe Yoli’s life isn’t easy. Fail laughs that they know plenty about her husband, because the bastard was married to their good friend for 20 years. Camille wants out of there faster than a life working her way up the job ladder fully clothed.
Lisa and Yoli meet Brandi in the bathroom to squeal until she’s got it all out. Back at the table, Mauricio and Twitch are agreeing for the first time in years: Brandi’s an asshole. Brandi excuses herself, and Mauricio remembers that she does have a book coming out and might have funds to purchase a home. He turns on the charm and says that he has nothing personal against her. LOL!! She calmly says that he should know the whole story before he attacks people in front of a group, and he innocently says that he only knows what his ass of a wife tells him.
Ken tries to make light and says that Mauri is a typical man and knows nothing. The women know it all. Kyle jumps in and snaps that her husband is NOT a typical man. No shit. Typical men don’t publicly brawl with women in public. Congrats on that winner.
In the car on the way home, Ken tries to turn Lisa on with his tits and his turkey waddle, but she’s too upset about Mauri’s nastiness. They decide to get wasted instead. The couple that slurs together purrs together!
Shall I do the tassel thing?
Paul and Ad arrive at Kyle and Whore-icio’s for dinner. Mauri falls all over himself convincing them that he misses them. Ugh it’s so gross to watch him. Give him a treat and sent him to his crate already.
Ad, acting like she’s talking about a deceased child, says that Brandi’s toxicity really hurt her. Bitch, you’ve got more botulism in your face than entire village dead of the disease. You’re more toxic than a porta potty. She just wishes that B had confronted her face to face. A closeup of that face would have sent Brandi fearfully running for the hills.
Mauri reports dutifully that he stuck up for them while they were away, and Ad dangles house keys in front of his face while Paul pats him on the head.