And Gia has news – she thinks it’s time for bra shopping. “You notice a difference, don’t you,” she says knowingly to Ter. Teresa pokes her and tells her there’s nothing there. Then she tells us that her mother never talked to her about this stuff, because she was so old school Italian. And that she didn’t believe in tampons, cause it was like having sex. Well, there’s a completely disgusting thought.
And come on, Smurfy’s penis isn’t anywhere near as big as a tampon.
Then she makes Gia show them her dance. Gia takes over the whole hallway, other kids be dammed and totally kicks the baby out of the way. Show must go on though, they just leave the two year old on the floor as Gia does jazz hands down the hall.
It’s GIA time!
Ter tells Midge about bra shopping, and he tells Gia she takes after Teresa – she has nothing. Oh hey, now that’s a bit premature. We have to wait and see if Gia marries a fraudulent pig to really see if she truly is to end up with nothing. Well, it turns out all Gia’s friends are getting bras so she wants one too. Ter says that if it makes her feel comfortable then it’s no problem. Gia thanks Ter by yelling that she never got boobies and that’s why she got a boob job.
What she means is, she loves me and thinks I have beautiful breasts.
Over at Jacquee’s, looks like it’s time for field day! Jacquee has painted black stripes under her eyes, the universal sign of a true competitor. The Manzos are wearing BLK t shirts and want to know if vodka will be served at field day. And Gay Sidekick Greg is there! No quirky beret, but he is ready to discuss THE POOL PARTY. Jacquee decrees that field day will bring everyone back together, and they talk about putting all the Guidices and Gorgas on the same team.
Then it’s time to tease Lauren about being fat. Fun! They joke about how she’ll be eating a salmon and twig milkshake for lunch. Wait, don’t twigs have a lot of carbs? She yells at everyone and Caro tells them to cut it out. Someone comments that Mel and Teresa aren’t even there yet and everyone’s already fighting. Eh, just getting in the mood.
So who wants to go bra shopping with a 10 year old on TV? Oh, no one? Well, too bad cause that’s what we’re doing. Ter walks in the store and announces to the saleslady that Gia needs a “training bra”. The saleslady corrects her to “first bra”. Gia made her hair all shiny and pretty for the occasion. They start looking at bras, and the lady shows her a little tank top thingy with lace. Gia goes right to the padded ones.
Ter kind of laughs off the bra shopping, but she says that she still looks at Gia as a little girl. She gives her a little speech about how wearing a bra is the first step to becoming a woman.
Learning how to flip over tables is Lesson 2.
Then she tells Gia, “If you have any questions…” – and Gia interrupts her to say “ Ask the teacher.” Well, you can ask me too, says Ter.
Please, I only asked you this time cause you’re paying. If your direct mail Visa isn’t declined.
In the Gorga car, everyone’s ready for field day! Well, everyone except the baby who’s got his shoes on the wrong feet thanks to Midge. He apologizes to the kid, but who cares? It can’t even walk yet. Then he says he needs a college education to in order to learn how to pack a diaper bag. Sure, I think they have that program at Harvard. Bachelor of Diaper Bags. Maybe after that, you can go for the Masters in Refilling Window Washer Fluid and work for Lebanese Dilbert.