Then Gia pushes the button herself and dunk someone. Midge accuses Dilbert of looking at Mel’s ass in her hooker shorts. Mel tells us she looks good in her “stupid little shorts” and who cares what everyone else thinks. Oh, okay that’s why you wore them. To not attract any attention.
Exactly! Just like I let Teresa’s comments go, and Caroline doesn’t get involved.
The field day ceremonies commence! The Manzo boys are captains and Caro is not playing. The best part of this is there is some kid involved named Ham Linky. Ham Linky? Someone’s angling for a role in the Goodfellas remake. They pick teams and Ter and Lebanese Dilbert are picked last. Ter, Mel and Midge all end up on Albie’s team, and then it’s time for the tug of war!
Albie’s team wins tug of war, and Gia, who’s on Chris’s team looks pissed. Next up is the potato sack race. Caroline says that during field day, everyone forgets they hate each other.
I don’t forget to stay out of it though. I’m so tiny!
Albie’s team takes the potato sack race, and Gia is not having it. She informs the group that the other team cheated.
Of course we cheated, how do you think we all live in big mansions even though we’re flat broke?
But Gia flips out. You’re cheating, you’re a cheater, don’t cheat, you cheat! She is nearing hysterics with her accusations. Of course Ter brushes if off with a shrug and a, “She’s competitive.
See, what she really means is…good game, blue team!
Despite Gia’s warning of cheating going on during field day, the persist with the Three Legged Race. And the cheating continues! “I hate cheaters!” screams Gia to Midge. Everyone sort of laughs it off and calls the red team poor losers. But Gia completely loses it. She hysterical crying and Ter has to hold her back.
Ter tells Jacquee that she’s a kid and they’re taught not to cheat in school, and that’s why she’s upset. Which sort of makes sense to me. I do feel for little Gia. I know, I’m an island on this one. But the kid’s 10 years old! Maybe she’s 10 going on 45, but she’s still 10. And she’s dealing with a lot of stuff that most 10 year olds don’t have to deal with – bankruptcy, an alcoholic Brown Smurf who’s headed to jail, crazy mother and the whole things playing out on Bravo and the tabloids. She’s 10! Did you people never, ever have a temper tantrum when you were 10?
But like I said, I’m an island. My own Mom thinks the kid’s a brat. So I took it to Adriana LaCerva, my source on all things Italian. She too thought Gia was out of line. But please, don’t tell me you never had tantrums when you were 10, I argued. Adriana is the sassy Italian to my sassy Jew and I was very into tantrums. “Oh, daily,” she confirms. “But it did not fly. I would get my face stuffed to the floor and my ears pulled. By my family. Or friends. Or anyone standing by. Didn’t matter.”
Oh, poor Ade. My tantrums resulted in the temporary removal of my matching comforter and curtains. Maybe that’s why I have a distorted view of poor little Gia. Oh, see, there I go again.
Well, Gia ends up sulking in a playroom and that’s where I would have left it. Leave the sulky kid alone, she’ll either fall asleep or get over it. But Jacquee and Caro, in their never ending quest to STAY OUT OF IT, follow her over. Gia is not happy for the company. She informs them that she’d rather be at the shore with her Brown Smurf and her sisters cause it’s more fun there. Then she tells them to get her Mom.
Oh, but why help the 10 year old when you can take all your anger at her mother out on her? “You don’t need everyone to pay attention,” Caroline tells Gia. Hey lady, people who have cameras following them around should run around passing edicts on others’ need for attention, OKAY?