Then they tell her she’s just mad that she didn’t win, and this is where I really take Gia’s side, cause that’s not why she was mad. I mean, I’m sure it was part of it, but she was quite specific that the main cause of her freakout was cheating and cheaters are mean. “Go get my Mom,” she commands Caro and Jacquee.
Oh, but Caro’s too busy reciting platitudes about how children “learn what they live”. So you’re bright beacons of success learned to not work and that being fat is everyone else’s fault. and her favorite thing in the world is to tell others how to parent, but I think Caro has a real glass house problem here. Finally, the squawking chickens decide to leave the kid alone.
“If she doesn’t want to have fun, she can stay by herself,” Jacquee sing-songs. Lady, if you’re calling hillbilly races in your backyard “fun”, then solitary is pretty much the best option. But just when it looks like Gia’s about to be paroled from the master class in parenting, Jacquee brings out the sore loser book. And all hell breaks loose.
Gia does not want to hear the sore loser book. Even the 10 year old knows enough to not take advice from the dumbass responsible for Moonface. She alternates between having a total meltdown and trying to walk away. “If a grown up’s telling you something –,” Caro starts, but Gia’s having none of it. “Get my mom!!!” Gia cries over and over.
Meanwhile, Lauren’s mad. She just wants a normal field day with her family where everyone makes fun of her for being fat and her team loses. And the presence of the Gorga/Guidice clan ruins that for her.
Finally, Gia breaks free from the playroom prison and into Ter’s arms. I would have thought Ter would completely lose it on Jacquee and Caro for trying to parent Gia, but she’s pretty mild about it. She just says that only she should be reprimanding her kid. And Gia steals the show with her dramatic retelling of her imprisonment in the playroom.
I kept telling them to get you, she cries to Ter. And then Jacquee started reading the book. “IT WAS TORTURE!!!!” Gia wails. It’s brilliant.
It’s torture for everyone, sweetie.
“I read the book for two seconds,” scoffs Jacquee. Yeah, cause the kid walked away from you and your stupid book. “But you were like this before the book,” Jacquee accuses Gia, getting into 10 year old mode to fight with the kid.
Caro doesn’t have much to say, besides her usual lofty judgment. “No matter how badly you behave, if you feel hurt, they’re wrong.” Really? I think the message was more – everyone in your family cheats, and now that Caroline hates your Mom, you’re on the list too.
Ter just keeps saying that Gia’s a sensitive 10 year old, and that she and Jacquee have “different values”.
When my kids completely screw up their lives, I’m shipping them to Atlantic City, not Vegas.
While Caroline continues to plead innocence, Ter tells everyone that she’d rather be down the shore too, but she’s “a team player” so she came to field day. Oh, those pesky Bravo contracts. The one person who seems to be able to reach Gia is Kat, who tells her in a soothing voice that it’s all for fun, but also tells us how risky it is to try and help Gia because Ter will accuse you of interfering. Finally, Jacquee tells Gia that she was wrong for reading the book, and tries to hug her. Gia is so not having it.
And field day ends with a little picnic and a huge provolone is awarded to…well, whoever won. As far as I’m concerned, Gia gets MVP for this episode. What can I say, I live for controversy.
Kisses til next week! CB