You’re homegrown. We get it.
She gives Dilbert a last minute admonishment to stay out of her business, which totally explains why she brought him. It’s her old neighborhood. It’s her sister who ran ice cream sales back in ’92. Kat even drove them there, for crying out loud.
Youse want sprinkles wit ‘dat?
Only the minute they’re in the ice cream shop, it’s Lebanese Dilbert wheeling and dealing away, trying to get his wife’s church bake sale going as a viable business. As only a seasoned professional with years of experience in executive level gas station management could.
Kat gets pissed and shuts him down. “Never send a man to do a woman’s job,” she quips, then repeats exactly what her gas station mogul husband said two seconds before. Lady, I don’t know how many times I have to tell you – just make the fucking cannoli, okay?
And on to the next hardcore hustle in Jersey and that’s the ubiquitous (well, to this show anyway) BLK water. The latest BLK hole of cash belongs to an enormous stage, branded with their dirty product.
See, the flowery logo makes you think you’re not drinking liquid sewage. We’re so smart.
And I’m not totally joking – that’s what the Manzos are talking about. How they went from selling dirty water door to door to the – drumroll, please – Fancy Food Show. That’s really what it’s called. I don’t know what’s better, the Fancy Food Show or Beatstock.
But the biggest news here is that Caroline & Al Manzo are getting into the Fancy Food game too! They’ve got the sauce. Literally, they’ve got sauce. Brownstone spaghetti sauce. Of course, who else but teeny, tiny Caroline models the sauce.
Albie gets really mad about it! Ooh, I love Manzo infighting! Will someone invoke Dina? Then Chris compares the size of the BLK water booth to the Brownstone sauce booth, which he accuses of being kind of shitty. Whoever loses at Fancy Feast is so starting a new blood feud.
Speaking of blood feuds, our prime perp, Midge Joe Gorga is lounging at his shoreside manse.
Nothing says ‘summer home’ quite like a Ross Dress For Less wine glass.
They chat about Beatstock – he wants to know what she’s going to do about it. Well, they scooped Cris Judd off the unemployment line and those unfortunate kids off the street corner near the methadone clinic…so I’m pretty sure the Melissa Gorga show will go on.
But it’s as obvious to Midge as it is to everyone else on earth that Mel’s not really ready. Or interested. Or – oh, let’s just call it as it is – talented. He asks her if she “wants it”. “Yeah, I want it,” she spits back with all the fire of the second string quarterback in an 80s teen movie.