Then it’s time for a road trip with the BLK water team. And, oh look – just when you thought they could not possibly find a way to waste another dime, they’ve gone and wallpapered a minivan with the BLK water logo.
Chris Laurita is driving, and doing what seems to be some sort of business deal. He keeps promising to be in touch the next week. He informs us that times are tough, his other businesses, whatever they were, have basically gone the way of the Lauren Manzo makeup empire and he’s got all his money on BLK water. I’d mold a BLK ice sculpture of Jesus and pray to it, if I were him.
While Chris is trying to save his family, the Manzo boys who now have both the Brownstone and the Brownstone sauce to continue to sponge off of / use as the basis for a Shakesperean quality blood feud, are playing fun road trip games. Like “fuck, marry, kill”.
Or, the pot playing “blk, blk or blk” with the kettle.
Albie is offered the Kims and Kesha, and decides he would kill himself. Then they go over the plan. Which basically comes down to carrying water into the building and the giving a speech. Clearly, another Manzo success is imminent.
Over at the Gorgas, Mel is whining about how bad her feet hurt. I hear that, it is truly taxing to stand on both feet and complain about the proximity of backup dancers. Midge decides that what she needs is to “release some poison”. He gets her on the bed, gets her shoes off…and then the little girl walks in. Midge calls her a “cockblocker”. Well, isn’t that just a completely appropriate way to describe your five year old.
“My president is black, my water is black!” Guess which meeting of the minds we’ve stumbled upon? Yes, it’s the minivan that BLK water built. Er – the minivan that Chris Laurita dumped the last of his nest egg into. Whatever, it’s a large drain through which money can flow freely.
And speaking of that exact pastime, it’s time for Team BLK to take a load off and drink a bunch of vodka. Gay Sidekick orders 6-shot samplers for the table. Chris Laurita looks like he’s just about ready to lie down in front of the BLK water truck and get himself run over. He compromises by ordering some still water.
Chris Manzo is polite enough to note that his uncle actually gives a shit, and you can’t help but respect that…but it’s not gonna stop him from partying. And Chris Laurita is the only one pushing the plot along too. If it were up to the Manzos and their sidekick, we’d probably be subjected to a serious debate over which vodka makes you fart the most and tastes best with pepperoni.
But Uncle Chris is there to check in on Albie’s new girlfriend, and to stir up some shit if possible.
Just keep saying you’re staying out it. And report back to me immediately.