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Then it’s back to the Fancy Foods. Everyone’s sort of hard at work, but not really, lugging branded boxes of BLK water out of the van. Jacquee pops in to tell us that Chris used to have an “apparel business” – which is code for “vague and mob-related” – that was “forced” into bankruptcy. Now we know Jacquee’s probably legally retarded and all, but no one’s forced into bankruptcy, okay? You spend more than you have, you end up bankrupt. Simple equation, people.
Perhaps the Merecedes he bought for your unemployed, alcoholic daughter had something to do with it?
His lazy ass team of Manzos and their Gay Sidekick giggle and complain. Chris reminds everyone that the black water game is super competitive and they don’t have time to play around. Chris Manzo tells us that after “everything we went through last night”, he’s in no mood to work. Then he tries to convince his uncle how serious he can be when, you know, the wind is blowing the right way and Lauren’s not too bitchy that day and he’s in the right mood and hasn’t been puking the night before..and gets annoyed when Laurita isn’t buying it.
Then we cut over to the Guidice car – actually, limo. It is Beatstock (fist pump!) and all. And I am struck by the oddest irony – for all Caro Manzo’s declarations of “another Manzo success!” and how proud she is of her deadbeat kids…it’s 9 year old Gia who’s hustled her way (literally – a preteen shaking their ass like that is not right – well, sort of not right) into the same performance that took Mel over 30 years and a lifetime of payments to Midge for her basement recording studio to achieve.
Seriously, every time we see Caro’s kids they’re either lounging around an apartment that Caro paid for, doing some half-assed job at whatever business Caro paid for…or making fun of Teresa. Whose kid is halfway to a featured dancer spot on the main stage.
Ter and the Brown Smurf are super supportive. As their prom limo speeds down the NJ Turnpike, they cheer Gia on and ask the other demon seeds if they’re excited for their sister. Now it’s the milkman’s kid’s turn to express her middle child issues and tell us she doesn’t care.
I’m going to choke myself with this feather.
Ter tells Gia she’s going to “rock the stage”. Brown Smurf tells her to just do what she learned. He says this from a vantage point of the back seat, where he is attired in a wife-beater shirt and some sort of vest? And some Backstreet Boys style facial hair. I don’t know if this is some kind of misguided attempt at…well, actually, I don’t know what the hell he’s attempting here but whatever it is, I can assure you it is misguided.