Jacquee tries on a dress but is too lazy to take off her jeans so they pool around her ankles. Then she complains that she’s too bloated for trying on clothes. Caro complains about Jacquee calling herself fat when she’s much skinnier than Caroline. Wait, what? But Caroline’s always been tiny, hasn’t Caroline? Caro says she has “no tolerance”. Join the club, Red.
And now it’s time for their personal invite the event of the mini-mall fashion season. Seating arrangements are discussed. Jacquee says she’s fine wherever she is sitting Caro shoots her a dirty look. Kim looks like she has some plastic packing tape incorporated into her shirt. Maybe it was tangled in with the dumpster hair.
Caro says that putting them all together is not a good recipe on the heels of a massive blowout, while secretly polishing up her shit stirring spoon. To this end, she asks Jacquee if she’s seen Ter at all since the RV trip and Jacquee says it’s just been pleasantries over the phone. They have plans for their kids to have a playdate.
Caro says that she can sit next to Ter and it doesn’t mean anything to her then she recites one of her little poems about it.
Conversation At A Table With Teresa
Pass the salt.
Over at Teresa’s she’s yelling “enough with the tattoos Milania you look like a freak”, which is probably a phrase she should start practicing now even though these are fakes. Jacquee arrives for the playdate and is greeted with the news that Teresa’s making chicken fingers. Chicken fingers are okay but has anyone had Dino-Chickens? Chicken tastes so much yummier shaped like a small dinosaur than a finger.
Jacquee says it’s awkward. The Guidice kids stand there in tattoos and sunglasses giving Jacquee a look. Something tells me Gia is not over the sore loser book incident and has rallied the troops. Then Mel shows up with her kids. Everyone runs outside to the bouncy house and Mel enforces some very strange stereotypes as she tells little Gino to shoot the girls with his water gun because he’s a boy.
Jacquee and her kid ride the swings alone. She says it’s because she wanted to give Mel and Ter a chance to bond but maybe it’s because of other reasons that we would never say bad things about. Mel breaks out some cute cupcakes and I curse that they’re not sprinkle cookies. Ter tries to lure Jacquee over with prosciutto and cheese and when that doesn’t work, concludes that Jacquee is being cold and distant.
So let’s get to some real laughs and that’s Caro and Lauren who have just received the keys to the former home of Chateau and the new home of CaWTF. “I can’t believe it’s my store!” trills Lauren as they stroll in.
This one’s gonna last 36 hours, I know it!
Pages: 1 2 3 4
5 6 7 8 9 10