Caro gets all nostalgic about the long journey of the Lauren Manzo makeup empire and tells us this was a long time coming, and you have to go through the storm before you see the rainbow. The storm being an unknown amount of money thrown at any and all fake business ventures that a Manzo child might dream up. A real nightmare, let me tell you. That is one well deserved rainbow.
Caro expertly claims the floor needs to be replaced. Hey Donald Trump, that’s the kind of thing you want to negotiate into the lease before you sign it. Two minutes in and we’re already losing money. Of course all Caro can do is crow about another Manzo success. Lauren compares the BLK water venture to CaWTF. I concur. They’re both false fronts for Manzo usefulness.
And another flashback. This one to Lauren talking about going to beauty school. Or rather, talking about not wanting to go to beauty school. “Did you think we would be here now?” Caro queries. Hmmm, did she think the Manzos would fund another poorly conceived business that she already failed at? I wonder. I will say though, Lauren does seem happy for once. Caro says she can have her happiness for that one day only but tomorrow, she works.
You mean, ask you to write more checks?
Caro says that Lauren has had a “difficult year” and this is the jump start she needs. Again, can someone tell me what is so difficult about the life of Lauren Manzo? And please don’t give me some nonsense about how she’s 10 pounds of potatoes in an 8 pound bag or whatever. Next to pretend businesses, there’s nothing the Manzos like writing checks for more than quickie weight loss schemes that cost more than feeding entire third-world nations.
“Let’s call the constructing man!” says Lauren, excitedly pounding another nail into the CaWTF coffin.
So, no one wants to know what’s up with Moonface, but we’re going to find out anyway. She’s doing a video chat with Jacquee. Her first topic is the gas bill. It was insanely high because she left her gas on for three days.
It was just the strangest thing, she muses, the flame would be out but it still smelled like gas! What to do? Hmm, maybe turn off the gas or call the gas company? Moony just went about her merry old way for three days.
Oh, did I almost blow up the entire building? So weird. What do you think of my new tattoo?
Yes, that’s right, Moony’s got tattoo fever. She got a skull on her hand and “Veni, Vidi, Vici” tattooed on the back of her neck. What does that mean, asks Jacquee. It means, “I came, I saw, I conquered,” says Moony. “Because you moved to California?” Jacquee asks scornfully, on behalf of all of us.
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