And then everyone’s on the way to the show. Mel is saying she and Ter are in such a great place, she can’t imagine anything hurting their relationship again. Someone says “Posche 2011” so at least we know what year we’re in.
Ter and Kim chat about Mel and Caro and Jacquee and where Ter is sitting and it how everyone needs to take their assigned places in the show staged for optimal disaster. They are deposited on a red carpet in Hoboken, the Milan of the Jersey strip mall fashion game.
They take pictures in front and walk a red carpet. Mel is there in one of her signature sparkly bustiers and sequined jeans. She poses with Kat, who is decked in her signature look as well, Frumpy Frumpile.
Just as Mel is asking where the team Manzo us, up pulls a car containing Caro, Jacquee and Lauren. Caro too is empoying her signature look of ‘highly annoyed’. They set up shop in a semi-circle booth.
Caro is immediately bitching about how it took them over an hour to get there. Jacquee comments that she knows Ter isn’t being sincere with her and is still holding a grudge. Ter looks very uncomfortable. I think if she was in on it, she would have been overly nice and excited.
They order dinner, and they hey, it’s Pete Guidice! Brown Smurf’s brother. No idea what this guy’s doing there and neither does anyone else. Kat wants to know when “Pete Guidice got into fashion”. She says she’s pissed that this guy got an invite and Lebanese Dilbert wasn’t on the list. Well, maybe people in Jersey strip mall fashion just aren’t that impressed with gas stations.
And then Kim comes over to make sure that the stage is set and ready to go. She wants them to have a good time and admonishes them “no aggravation, please”. Then she hands off the poison apple like a baton to Oily Angelo, who makes his approach to the Housewives table.
Ter and Kat are in deep conversation about bronzing versus tanning. Kat is the only one talking to Ter.
Oily Angelo talks over them to say, “Hi Melissa. You remember me, right?” Mel looks beyond uncomfortable.
“Yeah,” she says hesitantly with a smile plastered on her face.
“I hear this is Kim’s fashion show,” Oily continues. You heard? From where? Salon Allure, where you’re the “PR director”? Where everyone participating in Kim’s fashion show, including Kim herself, got their makeup done that day? This guy cannot slither off my TV fast enough.
Then he says hi to Teresa who barely says hi back. Then he finally slithers away. Break out the disinfectant.
“I don’t remember where I know him from, but I know I know him,” Mel says. It sounds forced. Ter says her heart’s beating “500 again”.
“Did you have a lot of coffee today?” Kat asks, casually reaching across the table for the breadbasket.
Does she know? Do all of them know? Do any of them know? Was Melissa a stripper? Who was behind the ambush? What else is going to crawl out of Kim D.’s weave? So much intrigue! See you next time for more, more more! Kisses, CB
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