Real Housewives of New York Recap: Escape From Jurassic Miami

Recaps

By BelowSeaLevel | Thursday, August 2, 2012 | 12:01 am | 17 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Real Housewives of NYC, Recaps

Last week, we got a glimpse into the world of a Viagra popper and the people who have to love him.  We witnessed him in his natural habitat:  expensive phallic hotdogs, a tra-flashy wardrobe, and blunt mating rituals.  Can’t have a show about the abuses of Viagra without knowing the antivenom–LuAnn’s caterwauling while waxing.  Yes, sexy talk from an old guy, a $25 Kobe beef hotdog, and waxing eyebrows were the high points.  You watched it and you loved it.

This week’s episode opens in Carole’s apartment.  Interest in turning Carole’s new book into a television series is putting pressure on her to wrap it up quickly.  She began writing it four years ago and is anxious to finish it, too; but it will have to wait another four years since she needs to start packing for her trip to Miami.  She calls Aviva to get the scoop on the weather and Ramona.  Aviva reports that the skies are blue and the Bunny is energized. 

This needs way more pictures.

 

Sonja and Carole share a ride to the airport and off they go to Miami.  Carole’s friend, Ranjana Khan, is hosting the ladies at her penthouse for lunch, followed by face yoga in her rooftop pool.  Carole and Sonja arrive first, followed by Ramona and Aviva.  Schlepping up to the penthouse has Aviva’s phobias working overtime. 

This is just perfect for someone who’s afraid of heights and only has one leg.

 

Ramona begins her House Guest From Hell Tour by insulting the area of Ranjana’s badass penthouse.  When Sonja walked in, she was immediately complimentary of how gorgeous it is, but Pinot for Brains has to act like she is THE authority on Miami real estate, blurting out that it’s up and coming, “buy cheap and sell high.”  If someone wants an opinion on the wines of Target or to be insulted, then yeah, ask Ramona, but real estate in Miami…..

 That screeching lady is already on her fifth bottle? How droll!

 

If the walk up to the penthouse was hard for Aviva, the fear of heights from the sweeping view poolside might just knock her off of her foot.  Aviva makes the effort to overcome her fears and is a good sport, joining the ladies in the pool.  Ramona, for some reason, starts telling Aviva that she can’t get in with her prosthetic leg.  Aviva, a grown woman, proceeds to join in with the other ladies, but Ramonster just can’t let it go, shaking her head, rolling her eyes, telling Aviva she “won’t allow her to put it in the water.”  Ramona needs to cast aside her controlling behavior like one of her used up, dried up bottles of  wine, but instead, she’s latched onto protecting Aviva’s prosthetic leg like Honey Boo Boo on Go Go Juice.

Harpy lifeguard, I mean, leg guard to the rescue!

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Living in New Orleans, it helps to be a good swimmer.  

 

 

 

17 Comments

  1. 1
    Debbie
    Posted August 2, 2012 at 1:01 pm

    There are no words for this episode . . .

  2. 2
    Karen
    Posted August 2, 2012 at 1:33 pm

    Horny George obviously didn’t get into the hot tub because he didn’t want the ladies to see his sagging bod. And BTW, Aviva said he was “tall, dark and handsome.” He’s none of those, not one.

  3. 3
    Sugarbush Sugarbush
    Posted August 2, 2012 at 1:51 pm

    I think Bravo failed to announce/warn that this week is boner week on the Real Housewives of New Whatever. After Richie’s blurred-out boner on NJ and this old man poking Sonja with his, I’m all bonered out.

  4. 4
    LastCall
    Posted August 2, 2012 at 3:39 pm

    Oy, this show is like watching a train wreck any more. It’s hard for me to even snark about , because it’s gotten downright creepy. Old man boners? Blechhh!!! Ramona is crazier than ever, Lulu will never change or evolve and is therefore boring (although I will be happy if she gets caught cheating on Jacques), Sonia has become sadly pathetic,and Heather is totally phony. I guess I like Carole and Aviva, so far. I just read soemwhere that Aviva is an attorney. Is that true, does anyone know?

  5. 5
    labowner
    Posted August 2, 2012 at 4:06 pm

    All I can say is time for a whole new crop of ladies. Ugh this is getting hard to watch. Thankfully I have American Gypsies and RHOSD (shows are only 1/2 hour) to tide me over.

  6. 6
    hot cawfee
    Posted August 3, 2012 at 8:01 am

    Can we now call Lady Morgan $onja???????????????????

  7. 7
    hot cawfee
    Posted August 3, 2012 at 8:10 am

    @4 Last Call– I think Aviva is a lawyer. I read it somewhere.

    This episode was just……..icky. On way too many levels. And my girl-crush Carole I even take you to task a little. You don’t try on earrings–pierced earrings and put the back in your mouth. Honey, I mean–please dont do that.

    However it looks like things will pick up ala Johnny Depp. YAY !!!! Will have the champers chillin’ for that!!

  8. 8
    featherhead
    Posted August 3, 2012 at 8:11 am

    Did anyone catch WWHL with the MDL – Josh Flagg and Madison? $onja was in the audience and was called upon to particapate in a game. She was all over those boys, and pretended to feed Josh and then tried to kiss him. I can just imagine he was as grossed out as I was…. Yo, Sonja he does not play for our team!! And it was gross watching a 50 year old molest a 26 year old on television.

  9. 9
    featherhead
    Posted August 3, 2012 at 8:21 am

    I meant to add – I guess George is not the only one with a pocket full of Horny Goat…

  10. 10
    LAC LAC
    Posted August 3, 2012 at 9:56 am

    @hot cawfee, I am with you on the earring thing – ewww. I hope she bought those. I don’t care if she is royalty, ear ick is ear ick.

    old man boners, cougars running around without underwear or wearing bathing suits that belong to 18 year olds – where are we, summer time at Leisure World retirement community? I need eye and ear bleach from this episode.

  11. 11
    RomoSheDiNT
    Posted August 3, 2012 at 9:56 am

    Great recap, BSL!

  12. 12
    CJ
    Posted August 3, 2012 at 10:12 am

    BSL, LOL at your “wines of Target.”

  13. 13
    BelowSeaLevel BelowSeaLevel
    Posted August 3, 2012 at 11:15 am

    I went to Aviva’s bio page and it states she earned “…a JD from The Benjamin N. Cardozo School of Law…” but isn’t a practicing attorney.

    $onja is a great name for Lady Morgan. Love each of you for hanging in while we wait for St Barts. :)

  14. 14
    Susan Meyers
    Posted August 3, 2012 at 1:39 pm

    George sounds like Jack Klompus from Seinfeld. Take the pen already!

  15. 15
    hot cawfee
    Posted August 4, 2012 at 3:47 pm

    @BSL– the shizz am gonna FLY then (there????). Its taking a long time to get this group going. Are they all going to St Barts ????

  16. 16
    BelowSeaLevel BelowSeaLevel
    Posted August 4, 2012 at 4:08 pm

    @ Hot Cawfee I’ve seen pics of everyone except Aviva on a boat, which I’m assuming was in St. Barts. However, during an interview, Ramona said Aviva became “possessed” in St. Barts, so sounds like they all went. Yay! Possessed sounds like an upgrade.

  17. 17
    hot cawfee
    Posted August 5, 2012 at 4:27 pm

    am so ready for it to all hit the fan—rubbing my hands in glee!!!!!!!!!!!
    I need get the real story on Johnny Depp and Lu (she loves when you call her that!!)

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