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Thursday, August 2, 2012
12:01 am
17 Comments
Tagged: aviva drescher, BelowSeaLevel, Carole Radziwill, friend jumper, George the Hornysaurus, Heather Thomson, horny goat weed, Lady Morgan, LuAnn deLesseps, Mary-O, parody, phobia queen, Pinot Queen, Pleather, Princess Carole, Ramona Grigio, Ramona Singer, Ramonster, Real Housewives of New York, RHONYC, Sonja Morgan, spoof, the countess, tvgasm
Aviva wants to talk about her father cheating on his young girlfriend with a MUCH younger girlfriend. Ramona jumps to George’s defense, starting shit with Aviva, yet again. I can’t figure out what’s up with Ramona, but girlfriend is pushing every single one of Aviva’s buttons and stepping on every single one of her cool silicone toes.
The next morning, the action moves to George’s place on the beach. Bitching and pissing people off must make one cold because Ramona won’t stop saying it. George is funny by saying the wind is going to rip off everyone’s swimsuit, which naturally turns the conversation to nude beaches. Of course, George has been and loves nude beaches because those are filled with lesbians, and he loves lesbians. I have the feeling that plenty of women would hit him if given the opportunity…would pay to have the opportunity…and the Hornysaurus would like it.
You’re in the Hornysaurus zone, baby.
Sonja gives the Hornysaurus grief for grabbing her ass the night before. He defends himself, because her ass is like ice cream. My, my, how the South Beach Diet has changed. He offers Sonja the opportunity for the kinkiest night of her life, which she is as interested in as Carole was in his squirting orgasm offer. He asks her if she’s ever slept with a friend’s father, which she hasn’t. This is getting to be too…umm…much. Is there a market for porn featuring people in their 80s? If so, the Hornysaurus, a self-proclaimed three-hour-man is your guy.
I’m gonna grab your curds and whey and squeeeeeeze.
The conversation gets to be a little too much for Sonja, so George moves on to Ramona, for whom the time between gulps of pinot is the only thing that’s too much. Ramona’s loving the attention more than Aviva’s loving Ramona’s blue swimsuit. When the action moves to the hot tub, George refuses to get in, musing about being erect. He drives everyone into the hot tub to avoid listening to him, including Aviva with her high heel leg. This brings momma bear out of hibernation again, much to Aviva’s irritation. Seems Ramona is inching closer and closer to Aviva’s last nerve, and girlfriend’s gonna get real about the blue Borat swimsuit.
Calm down everybody, it’s just an erection.
Back in New York, Pleather is having a nice date with her hubby at a caviar lounge. They seem really happy to be away from the drama, and Pleather doesn’t look at all upset about not being invited to Miami.
This is great, babe, but let’s wrap it up.
Back to Miami for their last night, the group attends an orgy–stop it George–art event. Ramona immediately jumps onto the cabana bed, followed by Sonja, but Sonja immediately jumps off of the bed after feeling George’s erection poking her in the back. She is visibly freaked out by it, and even more so when George is getting really excited talking about her being without panties and bra. It’s just more of the same neanderthal conversation, with mispronunciations of “pheromones” and “virile.” Norm Crosby and Yogi Berra would be proud and loling or maybe spinning in their graves. George feeds off of horny goat weed from his pocket, whatever that is. Sonja eventually escapes from Jurassic Miami the Hornysaurus by going to view the artwork with Aviva. So taste and class are to the Hornysaurus, like garlic and crucifixes are to Dracula–good to know!
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17 Comments
There are no words for this episode . . .
Horny George obviously didn’t get into the hot tub because he didn’t want the ladies to see his sagging bod. And BTW, Aviva said he was “tall, dark and handsome.” He’s none of those, not one.
I think Bravo failed to announce/warn that this week is boner week on the Real Housewives of New Whatever. After Richie’s blurred-out boner on NJ and this old man poking Sonja with his, I’m all bonered out.
Oy, this show is like watching a train wreck any more. It’s hard for me to even snark about , because it’s gotten downright creepy. Old man boners? Blechhh!!! Ramona is crazier than ever, Lulu will never change or evolve and is therefore boring (although I will be happy if she gets caught cheating on Jacques), Sonia has become sadly pathetic,and Heather is totally phony. I guess I like Carole and Aviva, so far. I just read soemwhere that Aviva is an attorney. Is that true, does anyone know?
All I can say is time for a whole new crop of ladies. Ugh this is getting hard to watch. Thankfully I have American Gypsies and RHOSD (shows are only 1/2 hour) to tide me over.
Can we now call Lady Morgan $onja???????????????????
@4 Last Call– I think Aviva is a lawyer. I read it somewhere.
This episode was just……..icky. On way too many levels. And my girl-crush Carole I even take you to task a little. You don’t try on earrings–pierced earrings and put the back in your mouth. Honey, I mean–please dont do that.
However it looks like things will pick up ala Johnny Depp. YAY !!!! Will have the champers chillin’ for that!!
Did anyone catch WWHL with the MDL – Josh Flagg and Madison? $onja was in the audience and was called upon to particapate in a game. She was all over those boys, and pretended to feed Josh and then tried to kiss him. I can just imagine he was as grossed out as I was…. Yo, Sonja he does not play for our team!! And it was gross watching a 50 year old molest a 26 year old on television.
I meant to add – I guess George is not the only one with a pocket full of Horny Goat…
@hot cawfee, I am with you on the earring thing – ewww. I hope she bought those. I don’t care if she is royalty, ear ick is ear ick.
old man boners, cougars running around without underwear or wearing bathing suits that belong to 18 year olds – where are we, summer time at Leisure World retirement community? I need eye and ear bleach from this episode.
Great recap, BSL!
BSL, LOL at your “wines of Target.”
I went to Aviva’s bio page and it states she earned “…a JD from The Benjamin N. Cardozo School of Law…” but isn’t a practicing attorney.
$onja is a great name for Lady Morgan. Love each of you for hanging in while we wait for St Barts.
George sounds like Jack Klompus from Seinfeld. Take the pen already!
@BSL– the shizz am gonna FLY then (there????). Its taking a long time to get this group going. Are they all going to St Barts ????
@ Hot Cawfee I’ve seen pics of everyone except Aviva on a boat, which I’m assuming was in St. Barts. However, during an interview, Ramona said Aviva became “possessed” in St. Barts, so sounds like they all went. Yay! Possessed sounds like an upgrade.
am so ready for it to all hit the fan—rubbing my hands in glee!!!!!!!!!!!
I need get the real story on Johnny Depp and Lu (she loves when you call her that!!)