Real Housewives of New York Recap: Jingle Hell

Recaps

By BelowSeaLevel | Thursday, August 9, 2012 | 9:00 am | 26 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Real Housewives of NYC, Recaps

Lu has invited Sonja to lunch to ask her what she thinks about Lu having a baby.  Sadly, Sonja miscarried towards the end of her marriage, so she is worried about Lu and her relationship with Pepe.  Lu says that Pepe is wholly on board to make a baby, so Sonja encourages Lu to do what she can to make it happen.  Sonja’s story is sad and so is Lu’s in a different way.

Heather invites Sonja to a photo shoot since she felt ambushed by Ramona in their last meeting.  LuAnn is also invited to have Heather’s back this time around.  Cool, two wrongs will definitely make a right this time!  Definitely! 

Branding expert James lets Sonja know he felt insulted by Ramona, the lunch friend, questioning his expertise.  Sonja defends Ramona as more than a lunch friend and apologizes that Ramona doesn’t turn him on, and instead of feeling insulted, they should have answers when being insulted, brow-beaten, rudely interrupted and having their marketable time wasted.   

Uh, NO!  As a matter of fact, your lunch friend doesn’t turn me on.

 

That doesn’t go over too well with Heather and James, since Sonja isn’t going along with what they’re suggesting.  Sonja is getting a freebie, so she should either take their opinions and advice or ignore it, let them off the hook, and come up with her own plan.  Heather attempts to break up, but Sonja isn’t making it easy, insisting she’s a client.  Sonja thinks they’re dating, but Heather was only in it for a one-night stand as long as it was hot–and now it’s not.

I like you, I’m just not “in client” with you.

 

Sonja is less than thrilled that Heather’s trying to quit her.  Sonja brings up that they wouldn’t treat Harry Winston the way they’re treating her, but they insist that they would, kindly, without mentioning that Sonja’s toaster oven isn’t exactly Harry Winston’s jewelry.  It comes down to Heather and James feeling like Sonja isn’t trusting them to move her forward, while Sonja feels like it’s HER image and doesn’t really want them telling her what her bankrupt, toaster oven hawking image is.  Time to change their Facebook status to “complicated”.

Heather excuses herself from the conversation to run things by the countess and bring her back to reinforce her flank.  Sonja isn’t very pleased that Heather has taken a play from her game book.  Plus, we already know how James feels about lunch friends.  Lu agrees with the packaging presentation and asks how Ramona played into it when Heather mentioned her name.  Oh…Oooooh!  Lu knows exactly what Sonja was doing when she invited Ramona.  

Ooooh, shit’s ’bout to get all real up in here.

 

Sonja ultimately thinks she wins by getting everyone to agree to shooting photos of the guy with the toaster oven, and also Sonja in a gown with her toaster oven.  James gives Sonja props for her negotiating skills, but Sonja already knows she’s a master debater, suggesting they ask her ex-husband.  Sonja must agree to no lunch friends on the set, though, if they do both shoots.  James doesn’t know how this works, ’cause Ramona’s probably on speed dial penciling it in as he speaks.

Do what I say, damn it!  I don’t pay you nothing for nothing!

 

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Living in New Orleans, it helps to be a good swimmer.  

 

 

 

26 Comments

  1. 1
    The Stumblebums
    Posted August 9, 2012 at 9:38 am

    Ha, we never even watched the show before. It is a very catchy tune and we played it especially for LuAnn. That’s the kind of stuff that happens when you treat a band like crap. It was a big FU to LuAnn!!!
    The Stumblebums

  2. 2
    msjacqmills
    Posted August 9, 2012 at 11:39 am

    It was amazing, @The Stumblebums! Thank you for making my day!!

  3. 3
    BelowSeaLevel BelowSeaLevel
    Posted August 9, 2012 at 11:39 am

    I actually did find myself singing it. Hope being on the show brings some new fans and success!

  4. 4
    sandra
    Posted August 9, 2012 at 11:51 am

    Yes! That was so funny Great job @ The Stumblebums lol i really did lol

  5. 5
    MrsMiaWallace
    Posted August 9, 2012 at 12:03 pm

    @the Stumblebums, please please please elaborate.

    I pray you are the actual band because I would love yet another reason to hate that sanctimonious prick

  6. 6
    clares
    Posted August 9, 2012 at 12:24 pm

    @stumblebums yes please elaborate…. I would also love another reason to hate the C*ntess!

  7. 7
    labowner
    Posted August 9, 2012 at 12:26 pm

    Poor Sonja. I think this is why Teresa doesn’t get drunk, her true feelings would come out and she would fall apart.

    Bet LuAnns kids love to know about the sex discussions.

  8. 8
    skychickie
    Posted August 9, 2012 at 12:30 pm

    What? The countess was a dick to the band?! Color me shocked!

  9. 9
    RomoSheDiNT
    Posted August 9, 2012 at 1:13 pm

    Best BSL recap! Also, I’m interested in finding out what a sexy J looks like. Apparently it cost $$$! ;-)
    Can y’all imagine what a nightmare Pleather will be when her kids are planning their wedding? She has 2 kids, right? Not the point, but I feel for the wedding planner. They should get that Beverly Hills shee shee shee guy. He can handle her!

  10. 10
    CJ
    Posted August 9, 2012 at 1:31 pm

    This season has been a snooze. I’ve been waiting for the Aviva’s “white trash” scene, but that must have been a teaser for the final episode -to lull us all into watching. Ramoaner’s crazed chicken/rabid chipmunk behavior has worn thin.

  11. 11
    featherhead
    Posted August 9, 2012 at 1:38 pm

    The Stumblebums for the win!!! That was all kinds of awesome! I hope Lu paid them extra!!

  12. 12
    Clare S
    Posted August 9, 2012 at 1:44 pm

    I found this on Romor Fix

    “You have to understand the band did exactly what it was supposed to do. We played Christmas songs outside in the freezing cold for an hour. They showed none of that. The band waited 2 hours for LuAnn to show up for a rehearsal, she blew it off. They showed none of that. The band had a minimum of 75 emails pertaining to what songs to play so there was no copyright infringement. You don’t see that.
    LuAnn took a glass of wine from the singer (his first and only glass of wine) after missing her rehearsal. The viewer also didn’t see the part where she doesn’t want to pay us because it’s going to be on Bravo. Like its OK for her to make 26K an episode but the band shouldn’t make anything.
    Anyhow the band did make a hundred dollars a guy. A nominal fee for working and being treated like crap. They also edited the song so all you hear is him saying “I Wanna F@ck You in the A@@” over and over. They must of really liked it ’cause they were up out butts about signing our releases.
    Yeah, it was a helluva way to make a hundred bux. It’s all about money and they got the shots they wanted. We don’t claim to be clean cut but come on, we do our music quite well. Not to mention that band wasn’t even amplified. Another reason we sound like crap…
    The Stumblebums.”

    http://rumorfix.com/2012/08/stumblebums-band-luann-de-lesseps-treated-us-like-crap/

  13. 13
    J-Mo J-Mo
    Posted August 9, 2012 at 3:51 pm

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lb62Cdyis3c

    This is the best “Fuck You In The Ass” in my opinion.

    Love, J-Mo :)

  14. 14
    hot cawfee
    Posted August 9, 2012 at 4:28 pm

    Sounds like Lu (she loves when we call her that) to not sully her hands or waste her time with the little folk and be a no-show for a rehearsal. I mean come on people– she is a rock star!!!! Rehearsals are not for her and besides– we must show respect– she is trying to get her 47 yr old ass with child–lets say enciente—b/c she loves to speak French.

  15. 15
    Too-Old-To-Care
    Posted August 9, 2012 at 8:03 pm

    Lu asks Sonja whether she should “try” to get preggers, having told the acupuncture lady that they’d been “trying for a year.” Come on, Lady, pick a story and stick to it.

    Did anyone notice Lu’s inability to carry the tune on Jingle Bells? The kindest way to describe it would be “pitchy.” Where’s Auto-Tune when you need it?

    RomoSheDiNT, are you referring to Lu’s kids planning a wedding? Just pray she doesn’t plan to sing to Pepe at the wedding! Gaaack!

  16. 16
    Too-Old-To-Care
    Posted August 9, 2012 at 8:05 pm

    Romo, I just re-read your post. You meant when Pleather plans the KIDS’ weddings, not when they plan hers. Sorry.

  17. 17
    hot cawfee
    Posted August 10, 2012 at 8:35 am

    What is it with Ramona and shiny shirts ????????

  18. 18
    hot cawfee
    Posted August 10, 2012 at 9:08 am

    OK– rubbing hands with glee— Lu’s Mom has let it slip that Lu had her tubes tied so prgenancy is mighty unlikey–and spolier alert– Lu will be playing in the Hamptons Softball Game– Artists v. Writers. I have no clue what side she plays for—-bbwwwaahhhaaahhaaa– I just made myself laugh with that one!!

  19. 19
    LAC LAC
    Posted August 10, 2012 at 11:11 am

    If that first post is the Stumblebums, I will be buying your christmas album! LOL!! What a surprise, the Countess is hoi polloi avoider. Who knew? ;) That party was totes funny and thank you for your contribution to it!

    Great recap and what a fuckerclust. Jaysus, Sonja drinking too much at the party and clearly inhaling her own farts during that meeting – that is some substance abuse going on. Btw, short of drawing a dick at the end of a “J”, how do you make it sexy?

    Mario and Ramona should just take those bottles of wine and beat people over the head, screeching
    ” WE ARE CLASSY, DAMN IT!!!!” because at least by the end of it, you would be unconscious. I cannot imagine anything more tedious than a dinner party with those two twats, constantly letting you know how lucky you are to be here with them.

    Aviva’s ex – big dick and likes to..uhh.. eat out, right? That’s got to be it. (sorry for the crudity – I just don’t get the big deal)

    Poor Carolyn – do you really think that you can shame the Countess? Quel ridiculous, my dahling!

  20. 20
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted August 10, 2012 at 12:38 pm

    @LAC so the women in NY have to go around telling each other about Harry’s “assets” because I wouldn’t have given him a second look.

  21. 21
    Rosemary's Baby
    Posted August 10, 2012 at 1:12 pm

    @Classy Drunk I’m with you. If Harry is the premier cocksman in NYC, I’ll keep trolling elsewhere.

  22. 22
    labowner
    Posted August 10, 2012 at 3:52 pm

    LAC are you saying Harry might by a cunninglinguist? He has too much chest hair that I can see for my tastes. Wonder what the back looks like – ew.

    I did not know combing hair back was akin to the comb over. You learn something every day.

    Now I will be extracting myself from this recap as the more folks find something unattractive, I tend to start liking. Run away, run away.

  23. 23
    LAC LAC
    Posted August 10, 2012 at 8:58 pm

    Labowner, darling, I just don’t know. He has to have done something in the boudoir that makes the ladies rave about him. Maybe he is good at playing the alphabet game. :)

  24. 24
    annie anniedawg25
    Posted August 13, 2012 at 11:31 am

    @rosemarys baby…..lmao “premiere cocksman”! Im picturing a portly fellow with a monocle , top hat, and pipe walking around NYC asking ladies if they require his “services”

  25. 25
    jerseygirl1960
    Posted August 14, 2012 at 5:49 pm

    Ramona, the craziest of all housewives!!

  26. 26
    storm915
    Posted August 15, 2012 at 1:16 pm

    I heard that phrase from the stumblebums on this you tube commercial…enjoy!

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