It’s the season 5 finale of The Real Housewives of New York City. Last week’s episode ended with the Hornysaurus being kicked out of Ramona’s charity event for abused women after he grabbed Ramona by the arm. Now it’s time to see what wacky catastrophe Heather’s charity fashion show to benefit organ transplant candidates can produce. She’s off to a stumbling start asking Aviva to strut the runway. Aviva and Ramona had a brunch brawl, and Sonja had a faceless face-to-face with her ex that left her feeling walked in the garden, but not kissing the ground.
Ping pong is serious business.
Carole is hosting the strangest charity event–a ping pong tournament because it’s just so cool and…ping pongy. Lots of little bouncing balls and paddles attract a diverse crowd and the competitive spirit.
Aviva has brought her sex addict father and introduces him as the poor 80-year-old victim of Ramona. Carole, Heather, and Lu are quick to assure the Hornysaurus that he did the right thing against evil Ramona, as he’s forced to relive the horrors of Ramona’s fashion show fundraiser. What’s up with “that animal” having a fundraiser for abused women when the real victim is the horny, grasping, uninvited octogenarian?
What kind of ping pong is she playing?
Carole assures Aviva and George that if Ramona starts stuff, it’s going to be a problem, and Carole will kick her out. So, if Ramona starts trouble at an event by bringing up that George started trouble at an event and got kicked out, Ramona’s getting kicked out. Maybe Aviva will do the kicking. Okay, got it. Not really, but whatever.
Kids, this is what horny goat weed will do to you.
When Ramona shows up with Mary-O and Avery, Carole runs over to keep the trailer turd and the sex addict apart. So, everyone stays in their corner, except for the orange horny grabber. He goes for Mary-O, crushing him in a frightening man-hug. I’ll confess that I’m liking Mary-O a lot in this episode–dude keeps his cool, even while being crushed by a copper octogenarian. George is the innocent 80-year-old papa? Someone needs to check the side effects of horny goat weed. Does it make one orange with Chicklet teeth?
YEAHHHHH! I WON! I WON! HOLLA! I WON! SUCK IT, LOSERS!
Apparently, the older guy that Aviva is paired up with is a ping pong champion, but instead of playing, Aviva’s busy pleading, whining, or maybe demanding, that her opponents take it easy on her and loses the match. In the match-up between the countess and the princess, the princess wins.