Many things can be bad for business–bed bugs, YouTube videos of rats openly playing field sports, fingers in chili, etc., but what about the Hornysaurus roaming uncaged and unleashed through a store…on camera? Well, that’s the nightmare of a health store in New York and opening scene of this week’s Real Housewives of New York City.
I’m a pervy sex addict, so give me all you’ve got.
George is visiting Aviva and stocking up on every available herbal remedy to help men with old limp, shrivel-y parts. He’s thrilled for Aviva to meet some poor fool that’s supposedly a 20-something fashion model, flying in from Hot’lanta. The Hornysaurus is hot for her because she looks like his daughter, except she’s black…and doesn’t watch Bravo housewives shows…or get background checks.
Incest is best, candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.
Aviva’s apology for it not working out with Sonja is kind of bizarre since Sonja blew off her dad for being a creep and sticking his ancient twig in her back. George wants to move on to Plan B, Carole, but Aviva is hesitant since Carole is like a sister to her. There’s no excuse for a total sick fuck that replies with, “Incest is best,” to his daughter.
The shop owner looks like he’s waiting for the Law and Order SVU “doink doink” sound and Ice T or a guy in a ghillie suit to blow through the door and deck George.
WTF? Where’s the number for Law and Order SVU?
The total for whatever it is they bought to help maintain her healthy frame of mind and body and his little Hornysaurus weenie is expensive–$452, to be exact.
Do you have some herbs to help with nausea? The ladies puke a lot when I whip it out.
The shop owner’s a sympathetic character in this episode. He’s been listening to the disgusting, pervy banter, but then George has the nerve to ask for a discount, after bragging about Reid’s wealth. While he can’t give discounts, he’s a good guy and offers George a choice of pink, orange, or green anti-freeze lollipops.
It looks like he wants to yell, “run, girl, run away!” He doesn’t know she’s just his co-dependent.
Awww, it’s like a heartstrings tractor pull, poor Sonja looks defeated after her face-to-face with her ex turned out to be another-room-to-another-room meeting. She had hoped that they could re-connect and he would be sentimental about their past friendship and her prime party girl days–or at least friendly or fatherly to their daughter or something. Instead, they holed up in separate rooms with their counsel. No one likes being in a room filled with sharks, even if you’ve got ‘em on retainer.
He fucked me again and I didn’t even get dinner.