Real Housewives of NYC Recap: IVF You and the Phobia You Rode in On

Recaps

By BelowSeaLevel | Wednesday, September 19, 2012 | 2:58 pm | 51 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Real Housewives of NYC, Recaps

Ramona thinks the anxiety isn’t flying, it’s being without Reid.  They’re both wrong–it’s about Aviva not being the absolute center of the universe of attention, like a giant, needy, emotional black hole into which all fun collapses into a dark quantum singularity.  Holy shit, maybe she can split atoms! 

Going all Brady Bunch, Ramona is fed up with it always being “Aviva, Aviva, Aviva.” 

RamonJa were having fun, and they’re pissed that Aviva insulted them for it.  Lu is getting antsy as Ramona’s talking about fun in St. Barth when Jacques enters the room.  Need an etiquette lesson in how to act classy and avoid being busted?  Do as the countess and jump up, offering wine.  For some, avoiding getting busted comes easily, but for the rest of us, it takes “Class with the Countess”.

Lu persists with the spin that she feels badly for the way Aviva was treated and made to feel unwelcome.  Sonja says she apologized, but doesn’t feel like Aviva behaved nicely, either.  Lu is so lucky RamonJa don’t bring up Ichabod Italian Friend Crane–if they weren’t supportive of sister sleaze, that’s another pumpkin head that would roll.

Carole and Heather get together at a gay bar to get bombed.  They think only their shoes are getting stared at, so they drink up, mixing all sorts of liquor.  Heather can knock back some shots.  The conversation turns to Aviva.  Carole loves Vivs, even though she can be “a little self-righteous”.  Heather has nicknamed Aviva “Boom Boom” since her voice is so fucking loud, and she reminds Heather of a cruel teacher with a ruler whacking kids for stupid shit, like having fun on vacation.

Dudes, anybody going to Taco Bell?

 

At an earlier lunch, Aviva told Carole that she was a limpaway bride.  Carole says that Aviva called off her wedding one week before it was to take place in Jamaica.  After a few shots, courtesy of some guys at the bar (who really are angling for the shoes and maybe a pair of leather pants), conversation turns to Heather’s husband being Jewish, which then leads to a circumcision debate.  Heather likes her guys cut and clean, but Cool Cat Carole is okay with whatever, as long as it’s a big one.  Again, ladies, there are many things you can keep to yourselves, and that’s a couple of them.

Pick me up a dozen tacos and a gordita crunch…and a Baja Blast…and a burrito…and some cinnamon twists.

 

Lu and Heather meet up for sushi, which is great because Lu’s in a “sushi state of mind”, whatever that means.  They talk a little too much–about the Aviva drama.  Lu sides with Aviva, which is a little surprising since Lu had signed on as The Black Pearl’s crew, along with Sonja while in St. Barth.  

Did you just make plans for that guy to IVF you in the alley?

 

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Living in New Orleans, it helps to be a good swimmer.  

 

 

 

51 Comments

  1. 1
    Stephanie
    Posted September 19, 2012 at 3:02 pm

    You had me at the title. I HAD to open this immediately. Cannot wait to read your recap.

  2. 2
    caligal
    Posted September 19, 2012 at 3:35 pm

    Loved Sonja this episode.
    I wanted to take Aviva and one of her peg legs and shove it down her throat. SHUT UP!!!
    But I know that she can’t because, *sniff* she got on a PLANE with her HUSBAND that could have CRASHED into the OCEAN, and then what about the CHILDREN? Because it’s NOT about AVIVA, it’s about the CHILDREN!!!

  3. 3
    whataboutmaura
    Posted September 19, 2012 at 3:39 pm

    Love love love Heather- she’s the only one who gets it. Who cares if RamonJa drink until dawn? Live and let live, amen sista!
    In other news, Aviva is the absolute worst.

  4. 4
    TV Junkie
    Posted September 19, 2012 at 4:03 pm

    I agree that Aviva ( and let’s not forget her father) are the worst..and really who believes their story that he cheated on his 30 something with a 20 yr. old please?!.(both have path. problems and need shrinks)
    BTW.. Ramona treating Aviva in an” unwelcoming way”..was a flash back to Jill Zarin..when she entered the “island “late..after Ramona’s party began..Ram. was a bitch to her too….let’s face it she is a bitch…( but..Mario is a bigger bitch)..Ramona’s story is old and I’m tired..it is time for a recast…
    They can’t recast slut Sonja yet ..for many reasons that slut is too funny and a train wreck..Plus..she is too in debt..I will bring up that site to remind you all how in debt she really is
    ..and how the hell does Lu do it on 2 million? It is a lot of $$ in most parts of the US but doesn’t go too far in her circles..she is the second poorest after neg. balance Sonja..perhaps the two should troll together for rich husbands in B,B & B..there is a nice one on the UES with a doorman..must be where Aviva met her man…and if that doesn’t work ..it is in the middle of the pick up bar area..perhaps BRAVO could do a show around them..
    I am a Heather fan too ..along with Carol..they need more time……….

  5. 5
    TV Junkie
    Posted September 19, 2012 at 4:04 pm

    How great is this web site??!!
    http://www.celebritynetworth.com/richest-celebrities/sonja-morgan-net-worth/

  6. 6
    wow
    Posted September 19, 2012 at 4:21 pm

    Heather nailed it when she said Sonja and Ramona are party girls. For many people vacation equals drinking all day and night with some laying out and dancing in between and what’s wrong with that? We all either know some or are one! Can’t believe how much I’m liking Heather now!

  7. 7
    cherrylipgloss
    Posted September 19, 2012 at 4:41 pm

    Oh my lord! my gallows humor exploded over the john deere comment!! how could you?? but please do it again and often!

  8. 8
    cherrylipgloss
    Posted September 19, 2012 at 4:48 pm

    “limpaway bride”…ahaha….keep em comin’

  9. 9
    Madelyne27
    Posted September 19, 2012 at 4:52 pm

    Awesome recap… Couldn’t stop laughing.

    “Lu’s looking as nervous as Aviva at a John Deere convention, though.” and “Bitter, party of one.”

    Best part of entire day was reading this…

  10. 10
    labowner
    Posted September 19, 2012 at 5:02 pm

    TV junkie unless you have access to their personal info or like in Jersey it was in legal documents, we don’t know crap about their net worth. I recall Sonja saying she was going to lose her house last year and here we are and she is still living in it.

    From my memory, Jill wasn’t invited to scary island, thus why Ramona was a bitch to her when she graced them with her presence.

    I am truly amazed by how great Sonja can look and then boom she looks like an older version of herself. Is it just make up?

    Poor Aviva. Thought she would get the gimp sympathy, but no.

    Romona needs inhibitors. Wonder if Avery is getting DNA tests to see if Ramona might not be her mom. Funny the contrast between Vicki and Ramona. Two hard working women, but Ramona does let loose and have a good time and Vicki well what happened to you?

  11. 11
    bubblesballentine
    Posted September 19, 2012 at 5:03 pm

    Brava to Sonja for cutting the other leg out from under that vile woman. Impeccably done!

    When I have a panic attack, and even when my anxiety level is just on very high, I cannot breathe normally – I’m not at hyper-ventilation levels but I certainly wouldn’t be able to summon up and maintain that incredibly loud, non-stop, venomous steam of vitriol for as long as Aviva did(nevermind trying to talk on the plane). She didn’t even need to pause to breathe, it positively flowed from her lips. That is NOT anxiety, that’s rage and hubris.

    I have to hand it to Miss Andy, though – A lesser man might have thought twice before he stole her ruby slippers.

  12. 12
    bubblesballentine
    Posted September 19, 2012 at 5:10 pm

    And:

    Fabulous re-cap BSL! Thank you for the many laughs and great picture captions, you’ve sucked me back in to watching this train wreck. Whee!

  13. 13
    NikkiHughes
    Posted September 19, 2012 at 5:11 pm

    “IVF You and the Phobia You Rode in On” hahahahahahaha

    It just dawned on me that we never got to see the end result of the men cooking….lol.

    Aviva is THE WORST. Shut UP woman!!! When she and Heather sat down and she just starting blurting out about how hard it was to fly to ST. BARTH’S, I literally yelled OH MAH GAWD at my tv. She is unbelievable. I have major anxiety when I even think about being on a plane, but if that were me, I would have walked in and been so relieved I didn’t crash, I’d have started partying harder than all of them. She is a real piece of work. UGH

  14. 14
    Ohiomom
    Posted September 19, 2012 at 5:12 pm

    Haven’t got past the first page…Love the title! Having ventured through IVF many a times to become Ohiomom, I give a big IVF you to LuAnn. It is never the thing you start out with when doing fertility.

    It is like someone with a broken faucet saying she is going to go out back and dig a well to fix it.

  15. 15
    Girlfriend
    Posted September 19, 2012 at 6:19 pm

    Hi BSL !
    Great recap, love the shot of pitiful PT at the end……bitter much?
    I wouldn’t describe PT as the limp away bride, shes just limp, the groom dumped her………memba?

  16. 16
    aliens.rock
    Posted September 19, 2012 at 6:37 pm

    The look on Carole and Heather’s faces was priceless when Aviva sat at the table and started talking about startving children…Just kidding! Of course she started talking about herself and St. Barths. Yada, yada, yada…I am so over her…Blech
    Kudos to Sonja for standing up for herself, yet staying classy. No flipping tables or pulling weaves on RHNY, boo hoo…:-)
    I agree with someone who said that Sonja looked really pretty while entertaing Ramona at home. She looked really young..
    Luann and a baby? I think it can be done, she is in her forties, isn’t she? I hope that she is doing it (whatever she is doing)for the right reasons. I hope that she is not trying to snag a reality show (“Single, Countless, and Pregnant” or “Bring up a bebe in my 40-s”).

  17. 17
    annie Annie
    Posted September 19, 2012 at 6:57 pm

    lol @ your stoner taco bell photocaps :P

    I went to Taco Bell the other night after having cravings for about a week (totally sober, BTW) and I was all happy ordering my baja chalupa and seven layer burrito….then I SAW those cinnamon twists and I was like “YESSSSS and cinnamon twists too!!!”. The lady informed me they were out of twists…FOR THE NIGHT! Im like “Lady it’s 9:00 on a saturday night, there’s gonna be some sad stoners tonight!”

    awesome recap,

  18. 18
    BelowSeaLevel BelowSeaLevel
    Posted September 19, 2012 at 9:52 pm

    So glad y’all are watching, reading, and commenting! Love to each of you! It is fun reading comments and knowing we’re all watching the same show.

    Does anyone know if the reunion has been taped yet?

  19. 19
    BelowSeaLevel BelowSeaLevel
    Posted September 19, 2012 at 10:02 pm

    @Girlfriend, come back and play. ;)

  20. 20
    2muchbravo
    Posted September 19, 2012 at 11:05 pm

    Awesome ‘cap BSL! The cats got irritated because I was laughing too loudly.
    Vivs is a Debbie Downer. I’m totally on the Heather train. It’s admirable how she just sat there and didn’t say, ‘Just STFU already!” to Aviva. Oy vey!
    Morally reprehensible? Seriously? All they did was have fun on vacation. They didn’t drown puppies or lead blind children into traffic. Get the prosthesis out of your ass lady! I’m still curious to know what her reaction was when she found out about Lu bringing a man home in the middle of the night. I guess the Countess was she morally reprehensible too.
    How do those skinny women drink all that alcohol? It’s got alot of calories!

  21. 21
    Stacey
    Posted September 20, 2012 at 1:05 am

    I think we know why Aviva’s mom drank…

  22. 22
    TV Junkie
    Posted September 20, 2012 at 4:36 am

    @labowner..I posted below my post a link to net worths…it may not be 100% …but fun to read

  23. 23
    LaurenB52
    Posted September 20, 2012 at 4:41 am

    Great recap BSL! I’m with everyone on the Aviva hate, she’s insufferable

    “They can’t recast slut Sonja yet ..for many reasons that slut is too funny and a train wreck”

    I’m not down with slut shaming Sonja. She’s a single woman, by all accounts a good mom, and going through a difficult time right now (bankruptcy and divorce settlement issues) so I doubt she’s looking to date seriously. If she wants to date casually, which includes sex I see nothing wrong with it. Because she’s a woman she’s supposed to be a mom and that’s it? I’m pretty sure her ex has had his share of women since the divorce

  24. 24
    lawyergal
    Posted September 20, 2012 at 5:20 am

    I heard that the reunion is taping today . . . yeah, I think I just heard Aviva shrieking – all the way here in Indiana!

  25. 25
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted September 20, 2012 at 5:39 am

    I wonder how that reunion is going to turn out now that Aviva knows that the viewers despise her. Is she going to hold firm to her stance or is she going to back pedal or is she actually going to apologize for calling RamonJa foul names and ramming her woes down everyone’s throat.

  26. 26
    Amanda
    Posted September 20, 2012 at 6:03 am

    I really can’t believe Aviva has not back-pedaled yet, seeing how every viewer is asking Bravo for her head at this point. Does she not have a PR person? And even if she is to self-important to see what an a-hole she is, can’t someone (family, friends, agent, manager….) tell her to eat crow right now so she can get back on the show next season?

    Labowner – totally agree about Sonja’s looks. Sometimes she’s absolutely stunning, and other times she’s a granny bird-face. And NO ONE, I repeat, NO ONE looks good in those types of headbands. Please make them stop.

  27. 27
    Girlfriend
    Posted September 20, 2012 at 6:30 am

    Yes PT(aviva) has had PR from the beginning, RUBENSTEIN PUBLIC RELATIONS,
    I bet they’ll drop her too

  28. 28
    Iona Trailer
    Posted September 20, 2012 at 6:52 am

    My rankings this week from Love to Hate…

    1. Heather is my Number 1. She seems to get everyone and is the most rationale..just a tad more than Carole since Heather doesn’t hold back her feelings. H0lla!!!

    2. Carole – Girlfriend needs to plan her guest lists for trips a bit more carefully. Love how she and Heather went to one of my people’s bar to get loaded. They were a fabulous mess.

    3. The Cuntess – Honey…I could never hate your two faced back stabbing punkin headed self. Some people just know how to live elegantly!

    4. Sonja – She’s rebounded by telling off Aviva. I am surprised Ramona didn’t ask her if she had changed the sheets before she entertained her in bed. God only knows whose DNA is splattered all over them on a daily basis….but is that a bad thing? You go Sonja…being a slut gets you extra points in my book.

    5. Ramona – She’s having too many moments of clarity lately but she still gets on my nerves. Calling Jill Zarin! She was even normal live with Miss Andy this week.

    6. Aviva – Go away you hypocrite. It’s takes alot for me to like Ramona more than someone else but you are just the worst. If I were Ramonja I would sick Kim D or Kim G from Jersey on her ass.

  29. 29
    Bitchylady
    Posted September 20, 2012 at 7:12 am

    Thoughts after the show:

    1. Oh Aviva, STFU already.
    2. Sonja can be very well spoken when sober – and Aviva might be out of her league with Sober Sonja.
    3. I want Drunk Carol to be my new BFF.

    That is all.

  30. 30
    Bitchylady
    Posted September 20, 2012 at 7:13 am

    And as far as Sonja’s looks – she reminds of Barbara Streisand – anyone else see that?

  31. 31
    BelowSeaLevel BelowSeaLevel
    Posted September 20, 2012 at 7:40 am

    Wouldn’t PR either write her Bravo blogs or edit? Her recent posts are NOT helping her. Any idea if they’d be involved in her decision to bring her father on the show?

    Btw, I don’t think everyone’s heard about Jamaica.

  32. 32
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted September 20, 2012 at 7:58 am

    @BSL, Aviva’s PR people probably tried to tell her what to do in this situation but she really thought she was right and the viewers were also going to see how the Evil RamonJa treated her.

    I get that taking shot and dancing on tables isn’t EVERYONE’S idea of fun. (I’m not sure why not) But morally reprehensible is pretty strong for some girls just letting their hair down.

  33. 33
    Clare S
    Posted September 20, 2012 at 9:12 am

    @ Laurenb52 I could not agree more with your post. Sonja has done nothing wrong. I say good for her she is going thru a difficult time and I hope everything works out for her. Damn if I were her I would be doing shots and letting lose too if some one paid for me to go to St. Barths! I can’t take pleasure in some one declaring bankruptcy because of a bad business decision. It’s not like she was scamming like some other housewives and their husbands.

  34. 34
    WriterGal
    Posted September 20, 2012 at 9:27 am

    Best Recap ever! And I’ve read them all! Thank you so much for the laughs. Keep em coming

  35. 35
    labowner
    Posted September 20, 2012 at 10:25 am

    Girlfriend do we think Aviva will use Camille’s PR firm next year if she is still around? Look at the 180 that lady did.

  36. 36
    Smarlo
    Posted September 20, 2012 at 10:39 am

    Iona, I feel I know you……

    In other news, I just told Ramona on her FB page to beat Aviva with her peg leg. I cannot stand that sanctimonious bitch!!

  37. 37
    Mimo
    Posted September 20, 2012 at 10:49 am

    @labowner Jill was invited to Scary Island. She declined. And then decided to surprise them so she could make up with Bethanny. The girls had just been through hell with Kelli and were on their last nerve. Alex came unglued when Jill showed up (they had just had a rousing battle in NY) and Bethanny didn’t want anything to do with her. With two out of three of her guests not wanting Jill there, Ramona asked Jill to leave.

  38. 38
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted September 20, 2012 at 11:11 am

    @Mimo, You are right. Ramona bit the bullet on that one and asked Jill to leave.

  39. 39
    labowner
    Posted September 20, 2012 at 11:29 am

    Thanks Mimo. I’m okay with forgetting details for this or any other reality show.

    Interesting I was reading an article about that weekend and it mentioned Ramona standing alone and suddenly a hand appears from nowhere to give her a glass of Pinot.

    The producer manipulation is becoming all too evident in all of these series. Come on Andy. Losing what little respect I had for you. We all have to travel to Florida to pick up Vicki to get to Costa Rica?

  40. 40
    RomoSheDiNT
    Posted September 20, 2012 at 11:48 am

    @Girlfriend What up?! :-) Yay!
    To everyone, I’m going to admit that Heather no longer annoys me. Holla, whoop, whoop!
    Great recap, BSL! I look fwd to next week when Ramona kicks that old creep to the curb. Lol

  41. 41
    Stacey
    Posted September 20, 2012 at 5:32 pm

    @bitchylady Yes, I think Sonja resembles Babs!

  42. 42
    2muchbravo
    Posted September 20, 2012 at 9:57 pm

    Absolutely @bitchylady. Sonja definitely has that Streisand vibe going there.

    I love me some Sonja, but it just occurred to me that she couldn’t leave her dog long enough to do Aviva’s spin thing but she left her little doggie for a week to go to St. Barth’s.

  43. 43
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted September 21, 2012 at 1:22 am

    They should get a do over trip. To somewhere good. Maybe Nuku’alofa or Kerala. Or Daytona Beach. And invite all the Gallery Girls so they can mentor them. About how to get prepared for their destiny as Real Housewives of Season 24. And to quit letting Eli give them walks in the bathroom gardens of night clubs.

  44. 44
    hi
    Posted September 21, 2012 at 9:25 am

    Peyman has been convicted of horrible domestic abuse against his ex-GF. He should not be on the show!!!!

  45. 45
    Bitchylady
    Posted September 21, 2012 at 10:34 am

    @2muchbravo – Great point about the pup – I totally forgot about that….maybe (God Forbid) the dog died? More likely she’s just a selfish wench who uses whatever excuse she can when it suits her.

  46. 46
    TV Junkie
    Posted September 22, 2012 at 5:13 pm

    Another great site..had no idea R. and Mary ~O lived over Elis..great pumpkin soup there!! and of course the breads are famous…..this site is old but still interesting.. since it gives addresses
    http://manhattanprivy.wordpress.com/2011/04/29/the-real-housewives-of-new-york-their-real-addresses-uncovered/

  47. 47
    cloudsinmycoffee
    Posted September 22, 2012 at 5:31 pm

    AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Countess LuMann lives in my neighborhood (I’m on the poor side of the area) EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE i may run into her and her turquoise jewelry on the weekend with my babies?? AWFUL!

  48. 48
    TV Junkie
    Posted September 22, 2012 at 6:51 pm

    ……. you are too funny your since your hood is beautiful!!!
    We’re babysitting our grand pooch on the UES tonight and if it was so wet outside I’d walk to Eli’s just thinking of their pumpkin/squash soup….. and we know who lives above there….(also just think of the other rats that have taken over that area due to work on the new subway line)………YUCK!
    BTW I’d rather have Lu as a neighbor than Maro`O and Co.
    Glad you enjoyed the link :) stay dry

  49. 49
    FuriousFlipper
    Posted September 23, 2012 at 11:08 pm

    If an Emmy category is created for Best TV Recap – well, this one will be in the race. So good. So fine. Thanks. And can’t believe that I like Heather so much now. Really goes to show that you shouldn’t make hasty reality show first impressions. Hated her most for “Holla!” But now, well, Holla! Heather.

  50. 50
    cloudsinmycoffee
    Posted September 24, 2012 at 6:27 am

    @TVJunkie – I would never see Mary-O and Crazymoana because they have chaffeuers that drive them around in their private towncars. And thats fine with me.
    and in my neighborhood the idiots at Con Edison are tearing up the streets for god knows why and its bringing out an infestation of water bugs. I found one in my apartment this morning and freaked out. I’m glad I got to it before it scared my babies. Cretins!

    Also, too funny, I can’t seem to spell chaffuers so when I right clicked the word the first word that came up to replace it was “cockchafers”, what the hell!?!

  51. 51
    labowner
    Posted September 24, 2012 at 3:31 pm

    Couldn’t resist

    http://www.bustedinacadiana.com/2012/09/hooters-girl-beats-ex-boyfriend-with-his-own-prosthetic-limb/

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