Sonja doesn’t appreciate Aviva marking her territory, so she tells Aviva to stop with her lies and then establishes that Harry has never told any of the ladies who he has slept with. Heather finally admits that she overheard Harry talking to a guy about it, that he never told her directly about his conquests.
Needing to jump on the hawking bandwagon, Lu and Jacques set up a meeting to discuss branding…something. Lu wants to make a collection of apparel and accessories. Okay, so the question the marketing director has is what’s in the collection. She has no clue, just that she likes her Jimmy Choos. Make what I’m wearing!
Lu and Jacques have walked into this meeting with nothing planned, other than to start their brand and collection. After several painful minutes, Lu decides she wants to start with travel accessories. Travel accessories? Yeah, what you need to…travel…the accessories to…travel…easily, but with a huge Countess stamp on it.
Accessories….ummm…
…lifestyle….ummmm….
…I need a baby….
Lu really wants to get busy with her…accessories…you know, stuff she likes, in case that baby story line sinks. The camera interview gets pathetic when she says she sings about her line, that you can’t buy class. Lu is ridiculous, along with the baby making and delusions that people want to buy her…stuff.
Aviva opens up to Carole that she doesn’t like to drink because her mother died of alcoholism. Carole thinks this explains some of the crazy and control issues.
Behind one of these doors is a tractor that’s been waiting to get revenge for all of those years she’s been bad mouthing farm equipment.
Back to reunion footage, Andy wants to know if rape and stealing are the only crimes that warrant party ejection. Aviva admits that she exaggerates and uses euphemisms, but she’s still pissed that her pushy, pervy sex addict father got thrown out of a ladies charity event.
Rape and stealing aren’t exactly euphemisms. Those are more like felonies. Job applications don’t ask about misdemeanors and euphemisms.
Aviva tells Ramona she had two “goons” throw out her father, when it was actually a couple of wait staff. Carole and Heather finally speak up that neither George nor Aviva should have shown up at the party. Heather also tells Aviva that he was asked politely to leave multiple times, but he wouldn’t take his skin suit and horny goat weed enriched self out of the party. Still, Aviva thinks everyone’s actions were wrong, except for her inappropriate father.
Heather speaks up to try to set the record straight about the Hornysaurus at the charity event.
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9 Comments
Thanks BSL– champers and cupcakes to ya!!!! My Lord–I had to step away and not watch this lost footage montage–but now I can go in safely-no surprises!!!!!!
I died reading this. I think my favorite moment is the seemingly non-sequitor image of Heather at the bottom of page 2. Also, have I missed something or is Madame Palindrome a new nickname for Vivs? Brilliant!
I’m not a frequent commenter.. however, I obsessively check for new recaps and comments every 5 minutes at work daily. Hats off to you BSL!
@BelowSeaLevel We got opposite thoughts from some of the droppings. Partly because of my theory that looking too staged is how stuff gets put in the litter box in the 1st place. And partly because of you being a poet. So your heart’s not as jaded.
I thought Carole’s mail scene couldn’t be any faker. We’re supposed to think she goes to the store downstairs just like a regular person. Because she’s so down to earth. Even though she’s a Princess so her mail’s diamonds.
But I was suspicious she found out about his heart flutter while they were getting set up to shoot.
Who’d ask an older person to put on a bracelet like that? People quit being able to see jewelry findings way before they get old! Plus when she kissed him, you could tell that’s not something that happens.
Does anybody know if LuAnn got her kids as a wedding present?
Because my new alter ego Krumtre Mitzentongs that doesn’t even try to be polite kept pulling my chin like she was Teresa and I was Kathy. Asking me did I see a scrap of anything but Europe in their face.
I couldn’t see much of anything but old Count Fart. But I kept that to myself. And reminded Krumtre of the Mendel’s Law of Forrest Gump. You never know what you’re going to get.
Then my other alter ego Preachy McJudgington got all prissy. And said nobody as mixed as us ought to even be thinking about stuff like that. And if LuAnn self identifies as NDN we have to respect it.
I left them to fuss without me. Because the new Watch What Crappens was up. And ended up ROFLMAO with kleenex in my eyes! Listening to @Flipit doing a dramatic re enactment of LuAnn’s business meeting.
We’re so fucking lucky! When we get old we’ll be able to tell people that @BelowSeaLevel and @Flipit were our internet friends. Back when they used to be only semi famous. And our relatives will roll their eyes. And say some patronizing shit. But we’ll know.
Oh and here’s a link. If anybody wants to click my Facebook head.
Lu’s (she loves it when I call her that) kids better learn to eat faster, Lu doesn’t have time to spend chit chatting with those two dependents, where the hell is the housekeeper when you need her?
The season is finally over. Thank you baby Jesus!!(oops that was the other show). Thanks for the reviews. BS-l. It was a fun ride.
Who the H is Richard??? Is he a guy that wanted to be on tv so he bought lunch for SonJa (like she did with her plumber). It was kind of gross since he “loved” her and we never saw him during the season.
Next season they should get rid of LuAnn (the Countess). Boring. No story line. The scene with the her launching a line was terrible. She expected them to come up with items and she would approve and put her name on it. I really think this is what Ramona does with her wine and jewelry. I don’t and never will drink her wine (although I am on a second glass of chardonnay as I type).
Love Heather. Loved her from the start. She seems like “she calls them as she see them” without worrying about upsetting a friendship.
It is interesting how Jill and Alex will not go away. They keep showing up on my tv and computer. Ick!!
SonJa’s toaster idea will be dead on arrival. (You heard it here first). Last week on a morning news show a famous cook was coming out with a toaster oven cookbook. Sonja had the idea for a cookbook last season but someone must of convinced her to make a toaster oven too. Too little, too expensive, too late. I like SonJa but her money woes is scarry. Maybe she should call the Teresa and Joe and find out how they manage to keep their house yet owe soo much money.
Has anyone else noticed that whenever Countesslu laughs, she immediately turns her head to the left or right? I can’t tell whether she’s looking for approval or agreement that someone else finds it funny, or if it’s a “royal” affectation that prevents you from laughing at someone right in their face.
Watch for it in the reunion or re-runs, in case you don’t have a chance to watch her next season.
@Tvsnarkeling–saw the toaster oven thing too! Was dying! Wonder how Sonja (oops, almost forgot the sexy j) felt. You shouldn’t keep talking about an idea, let other’s jump on it and beat you. Business 101. Wasn’t that Eric Ripert, I think. If fine seafood dining man can endorse home toaster cooking, Sonja really blew it.
@BSL–great recap! One thing you didn’t mention that I thought was HILARIOUS, was Ramona pulling out her own wine glass out of her purse for Mary-O at the booksigning. How did that sucker not break? She should put out a line of travel wine glasses.
I loved the part where Sonja was helping Ramona pack for St Barths. you could totally see that they are just two nuts hanging out.
I want to see more of that and less of the contrived set-upedness! (that should be a word)
OMG your captions are all I need to read! Starting with ” Who would leave a good hand lying around” to digs about farm equ.
Thanks BSL for the great reviews that had me LOL everytime I read!
Now I won’t be able to rest until I find out if AVIVA gets kicked off the Island ..next season….
Let’s keep Googling Reid & George to see what they are doing ..I love the article where george was on JDATE as a much younger man..he can no longer lie about his age..HA HA…that must be a real drawback..for him…