Touted by Andy Cohen as perhaps the biggest scandal in Real Housewives of New York City history, Lu’s face was hilarious when she realized he was talking about her ALLEGED night with the Johnny Deppelganger in St. Barth. Ramona had Lu’s back and repeated “alleged” a couple of times. Lu (she loves it when you call her that) looked like she wanted to choke-a-host.
Of course he was Johnny Depp!
Really, no shit?! He wasn’t Johnny Depp?!
Jacques was invited to attend, but he politely declined. How much humiliation does Andy want to heap on this guy? Watching the video of her trying to be all touchy-feely with Jacques after she returned from St. Barth makes me pray there is never a sex tape of these two people getting it on all countess style.
My eyes! Please make it stop!
Lu says they are still together, that Jacques loves and trusts her. In an amusing moment, Lu says that Jacques knows she always tells the truth, so if she says no humpty dancing went on with the pirate, then nothing happened. Some village is missing their…ummm…
The Reunion version is that she got a RIDE HOME by Tomas and he had never seen the house, so he came inside for a tour. Lu knocked on Heather’s door and invited her to join Lu and the pirate for a drink. When Carole says that Tomas lied that he had already seen the house, Lu says that he lied because Ramona was grilling him like a July the 4th cookout.
Andy calls Lu out on her lie, asking her why she called Jacques the next morning to tell him she was out with Italian friends. Lu says it’s not really a lie because at some point she had been with Italian friends. Wow.
Andy also lets her know the viewers aren’t too impressed with her Frenglish. Lu is full of excuses, but loses it and tells Ramona she better zip it when Ramona says Lu loves her men and can’t keep her hands off of them. It gets even better when Ramona says she doesn’t have open relationships, but she doesn’t want to go there. Lu looks like she wants to rip Ramona to shreds, boil her, and make a fertility potion out of her remains.
I can count to this many in French, so drop the Frenglish crap.
When the other ladies tell Ramona that she DID go there, she apologizes. SonJa thinks Lu didn’t want all of that out there because she has children to protect, but Carole interrupts to ask if it would have been respectful to her children to not fuck a pirate? Lu no likey Carole and complains about the princess trying to take her down every chance she gets.